Fifty Shades of Friendship
by Crabbygirl
Summary: This is the story of how a girl with a rough beginning meets and befriends Seattle's hottest couple. She never guessed she would find love in the process and the adventure she would have. These characters are owned by EL James. I am just a big fan.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any of the characters. That would be the marvelous Mrs. EL James. I am just a huge fan and wanted to write a story using the characters again. I just want to throw a shout out to the authors out that who are marvelous such as Perhaps, Smile Rose, Wattle, Banners and Mash. You all are the real genius. I am just out here trying. Please remember to be gentle.

My name is Angelica, and I remember it like it was yesterday. This fresh faced girl comes bounding into SIP. I was on my way back with my cup of coffee. I asked Claire who she was interviewing with. She told me Jack Hyde. I thought poor thing. He is going to eat her for breakfast. God knows he tried to sack me like every other new young girl. I was harder for him. I might look like a girl off the farm, but I have had my share of hard knocks. I was born to an immigrant chick from Ireland. She decided that motherhood was not for her wanted to have her American dream. After 6 months in foster care, I was adopted by a cute couple. They had been married 6 years. They adopted me and instead of life getting better well it got worse. He got injured on the job and went crazy. He decided one night after too much to drink that he had to save us. He pulled out his .38 special and was going to end it all. Well, my mom grabbed me, and we ran out of the house. He ended up using the gun on himself.

By the time I was 7, she was on husband number 2. This guy decided that I was just his type and night after night visited me. When I was 11, my mom found out and on to husband number 3. This guy wasn't bad. He didn't find me attractive and actually took care of us. Unfortunately, that lasted until I was 17. By then 6 years of my mom's garbage was too much for him, and he left. I still talk to him when I can. I left for Harvard because it turns out I was pretty smart. I majored in Accounting and kept my head down and got through it. My taste in men was always bad so I really didn't date. If I did, he was a loser with a drug or alcohol problem who liked to hit. I got my Master's degree and my CPA. Then I found my way to SIP. Of course, I walked in and Jack Hyde thought I was just his type. He was right, but by now I had learned if I was attracted I should stay away. Since he was more senior management, I was afraid of ruining this awesome new job I had found. I went out with him to a bar, but of course, the scumbag put something in my drink. I spotted him doing it, so I spilled it by accident on myself. I told him I had to go home. He offered to drive, but I said I liked the bus. That was the only time. I made many excuses until the next cute thing appeared.

So, as Ana walked in I just looked at Claire and said I hope she doesn't get the job. Claire just smiled. She too had been his victim. We all talk about it over drinks. SIP is a good place to work. Benefits aren't bad and the people are cool. It is a lot of fun to see all the new authors and then see the books rise up the New York Times Best Seller list. It is sad when one we really like fails to make the grade. It wasn't too long after Ana was hired that I made her acquaintance. I was in getting coffee, and she was getting a tea. The poor girl looked like death warmed over. It was only her second day. I started talking to her. She told me that she had just broken up with her boyfriend. She said that he was the first serious person she had ever dated. We talked for about 20 minutes. She was really lovely. It turns out our stories were kind of similar. I felt maybe I had found a new friend.

When I returned to my desk, there was an email from an auditor from Christian Grey. He wanted all our financials for the last 6 years. I couldn't understand what was happening. I ran to the managing partners. They agreed to his request. That really threw me. I was so nervous. I knew it had to be some kind of take over. I couldn't figure out why. Mr. Grey had no other publishing companies or interest. I was sort of a junior Christian groupie. He was at Harvard with me for few months. I watched him from a far. So, when I moved to Seattle, I kind of watched and dreamed that I would meet him. Of course, like the rest of Seattle, I figured he was gay. This was kind of cool to think I may be working for him. I hoped I would make the cut.

The next day I ran into Ana in the bathroom, she looked like she was about to burst into tears. She said that she had forgotten her best friend had an Art show on Thursday. I told her I could give her a lift if she needed. That is when she told me her ex boyfriend had offered a ride, and she was trying to figure out if she should take it. I told her to remember she is an awesome person, and I hoped he was worth it. She gave me a smile. On Thursday, Claire and I asked her to come for lunch. She told us she couldn't make it. She was leaving on time and didn't want to take a lunch. From looking at her outfit I knew where she was going. I was walking out of the building with her that night. I saw the sharp dressed driver waiting for her. I gave a long low whistle and said, "Dang girl you know how to travel. Hope you have fun. See you tomorrow." She just smiled as she walked to the car. Hyde was standing next to me. He looked like someone had just taken the wind right out of him. As I made my way to the bus, I just laughed.

Fridays are always fun at SIP. We always go out for drinks after work. Mainly the girls all sit at a table watching Hyde attempt to pick up any girl at the bar. It is definitely entertaining. Ana walked in looking amazing that Friday. I knew things must have went well with her Mr. Wonderful. It turns out Hyde was the first to ask her for drinks. She was looking a little scared when Claire and I told her we would be there. We were walking to the bar together when this strange girl was standing near the corner. We just ignored her, but she seemed to be watching us. Ana told us on the way to the bar that her boyfriend would be joining us. Well I nearly fell out of my chair when none other than Christian Grey walked in to take Ana's hand. I suddenly felt unworthy of her friendship. My idol was sitting in front of me. Claire, of course being the pal she is, saw me nearly fall. She just laughed. Suddenly I knew exactly why Christian Grey wanted a publishing business. I just didn't think Ana was the type to sleep her way to the top. She seemed so nice. Oh well, live and learn.


	2. Chapter 2

As I leave the bar, I receive an email from the upper management of SIP. They want to see me first thing Monday morning. As the Vice President of Accounting, I am assuming they want to tell me the good news. I am sure those money hungry animals took whatever he offered. I head to the bus stop to catch my ride home. When I get to my apartment, there is my best friend Max waiting for me. He has two paws on the couch staring out the window. I can almost hear him saying come on time for my walk hurry up. I grab his leash. As we head down our favorite street, I am reminded of why I love my neighborhood. I have lived in the Pike Market District since I moved from Harvard. It was a pretty easy decision. My best friend at Harvard had a job offer here. I didn't specifically have any offers right off the bat and the idea of staying in Boston without him wasn't much fun. It is amazing that the girl who can't find a soulmate could befriend a very wealthy Gay guy. So he returned to take his place at his Father's law firm. Strangely enough, his father is partners with no other than Carrick Grey, Christian's father. It was a good decision. I passed the CPA exam in Washington and found this job at SIP. In the few years, I have been here they promoted me to Vice President of Accounting.

As Max and I are headed back, there in front of us is Christian and Ana. Christian is carrying the groceries for her. They seem really happy. I slow down my pace. I don't want to run into them. I pull Max down a side street to give them time to get to her apartment. You know it is bad when your dog is giving you that are you crazy look. I just feel like a stalker. I mean I know I was here first, but I have also articles all about Christian's rise to success. I guess I just wish that I could be as successful. The reports all say he didn't have the easy childhood. Harland, my best friend, calls it my crush. Secretly, I know he is hoping the gay rumors are true. Wait until tomorrow night, I am sure Christian will take Ana to Coping Together. Oh Christ, I forgot I am supposed to be Harland's date. His mother is so hopeful I will change him. I have to remember to pick up my dress at the dry cleaner and pick up a mask. Max and I proceed back to our house after our little detour. In front of Ana's apartment, it looks like the same homeless girl from earlier. She just seems to be staring in the windows. God, that is just so creepy. I wonder if I should text Ana. I shake my head and think really what are the chances. Besides which I am sure Christian has some guy watching the place if he is inside.

I go inside my apartment and put Max's leash away. Tomorrow, we will get up for our Saturday morning run. I walk to the fridge only to remember I didn't get groceries yet. That is another task for tomorrow. I call down to the chinese take out place just down the block. They know my order by heart, how sad is that. I pour myself a drink and flip on the TV. Of course I catch the gossip rag all about tomorrow night's gala and who will be there. I laugh that me a girl from the wrong side of the tracks will be hanging with the elite. The food arrives. I sit down on the couch beside Max. I don't know why but I start to get scared as to what Mr. Grey's intentions with SIP will be. I really love working there. Oh well a fear for another night, I suppose. I watch a little more television and then off to bed.

The next morning is the perfect Seattle day. The sun is shining and the air smells of coffee and bread. Max and I are out for our morning run. He seems to be really excited to run and we are making great time. I am starting to relax. I had bad dreams last night of Christian firing everyone and moving the office to Brazil. It was kind of funny if you think about it. I give Max a big bowl of water, and I head for the shower. I have a lot to do today.

First stop, Pike Market, God I love this place. The smell, the sights, and sounds, it is such a treat to the senses. I get a lot of fresh foods to take home to eat for the week. After that I head to the boutiques. I find the perfect mask. It will look so good with my dress. It is emerald green just like my dress and it has silver. Last stop is the dry cleaners to pick up my dress. As I am walking down the street by Esclava, I see Ana and Christian having an argument. Before I know it, she has screamed because he picked her up like a sack of potatoes. If I wasn't afraid of losing my job, I probably would have said something.

I spend the afternoon getting ready for this evenings fun. I do my nails which is not something I enjoy doing. My mother could never understand why I wasn't a girly girl, and why it was so difficult to shop with me. I work on my auburn hair until I get it up in the perfect french twist. I put on my emerald green dress. It is strapless with a slight a line skirt. I have a little shawl for when it gets colder later. I put on my diamond stud earrings. My date shows up classy as always in his Armani Tux. We will be going in the family limo of course. Tonight, is going to be a game changer I just don't know it yet.


	3. Chapter 3

As we walk up the driveway, there are pink paper lanterns hanging everywhere. I have to say Christian's mom knows how to make this place look magical. I have never seen it except for on these special nights, but I don't think I would want to. The magic might be lost like if you saw how they ran the rides and attractions at Disney World. This is the first place our eyes will really meet. He is standing outside Ana's door. His eyes are magical, and if we were cartoon characters, I imagine sparks would fly from mine to his. He quickly looks away. He looks to the job at hand. Harland just shakes his head. "Only you," he says. "Only me what," I ask. Before he can answer Carrick Grey is wrapping him in a hug. Grace is right there. They have to be two of the most amazing people I have ever met. I always feel like the long lost daughter. Just then I feel a tap on my shoulder. It is Ana. I guess through the mask she must know it is me. She looks stunning. She is so nervous though. I feel bad for her. Even through her mask, I can see in her eyes that she feels like the tiny clown fish swimming with Sharks. I give her a hug and tell her this will be easy just hang with your prince. Christian hears me and I blush.

We follow Christian and Ana down the path. I catch his eyes a few more times because really we are watching the same thing. We are watching Ana. I am trying to see if she really is the gold digger who is climbing to the top on the backs of us poor working people. I just can't buy it though. She just doesn't seem like it. She is either the world's best actress, or she is Cinderella.

This is truly a magical ball. There is a dance floor, swan ice sculptures, and a string quartet. I soon see Ana wrapped by Mia Grey's posse. They are a tough group of trust fund ladies. I see Ana start to look like she is surrounded by wolves. Again, I have to ask myself, actress or Cinderella. Harland pulls me from my thoughts. He tells me to stop staring at Christian. I then have to be honest and say it isn't him. I tell him that I am trying to figure out Ana. He laughs and tells me green eyed monster. It really isn't that. Is it? I can't be jealous of Ana can I be? He says, "Come I need a drink."

On the way to the bar, Harland is stopped by Mr. Eccles. He asks him the usual legal questions and family business things. Then he turns and asks about his date. "Who is this marvelous creature?" he inquires. Harland gets very serious and says, "My girlfriend." I nearly spit my champagne out. Mr. Eccles looks confused. He asks me where I work and when I tell him SIP. He says,"I was justing inquiring with Ana. I have heard that there is a hostile take over bid there." I just smiled and said, "This is a party let us not talk business." As I turn away from him, I run straight into Christian.

"Oh, Mr. Grey, I am so sorry," I say nearly fainting at my clumsiness.

"Angelica, is it," He says.

"Yes sir, I work with Ana at SIP," I answer.

"Well, I must say you are very smooth. The way you handled Mr. Eccles. He is always looking for gossip. What do you do for SIP?" Christian asks.

I can tell from the look in his eyes he knows exactly what I do, but I also know he is a force to deal with. Harland approaches as I begin to answer interrupting. "Christian," He says as smooth as ice.

"Harland," Christian gives back with the same tone. I would have loved to see these two at the Seattle Prep. Christian brings us back on track with, "I had just asked your date what she does at SIP."

Harland seeing an opportunity to brag on his favorite beard begins to answer, "Well, she was at Harvard with us. She finished and was accepted straight into the masters degree program which never happens. She graduated and now is the Vice President of Accounting at SIP." The look on Harland's face is priceless. He loves to bring up Harvard to Christian. He knows that Carrick was crushed when he dropped out. Although I am sure the senior Mr. Grey, has let that one slide now that Christian is "The Christian Grey."

Christian smiles his knowing smile that I have seen in too many of the articles I have on him. He cools says, "I will be seeing you around Ms. Miller."

I pour the champagne in my glass down my throat to cool my very red cheeks. I grab another quickly from the waiter with amazing timing. Harland is smiling like the cat who ate the canary. I just shake my head at him. I turn and I see the eyes again watching me. He doesn't smile just stays focused. I know he has a mission, and I really wish I was his mission. I shake my head as I see Ana is behind me. He wasn't watching me. It was Ana.

As I watch Ana, I truly begin to see that she is a Cinderella. I don't think someone could consistently act that nervous. She is constantly seeming to worry about Christian's mood or how he is taking something. I feel like I am studying her like a character from one of the books that the author's bring to SIP. The poor girl seems to almost have a heart attack during the auction because someone is bidding against Christian. After the auction, I see them disappear. She almost seems to be dreading it. Surely I am mistaken. I watch as he walks away. Always right there in case he is needed. I swoon at the thought of a night in shining armor. What is a matter with me? This is not my usual behavior. I vow to take a walk once the dancing has begun. Harland is having the time of his life. He is like a little hummingbird flying from one flower to the next. His mother begins to ask me about work and if I have found that special man. I just smile and tell her exactly what she needs to hear. That my heart was stolen by Harland never to return. She sighs and I know she is happy. Poor woman dreams of grandchildren that are so not going to happen. I dance with Harland, his Dad, and of course, Mr. Eccles tries to get me to dance to pump me for info. The most special dance is when the wonderful Carrick Grey asks me to dance. I know he is just being a good host, but it feels nice.

When the dancing is over I take my leave. I realize as everyone has left the tents that I forgot my clutch. As I go back in for it I catch the tail end of Ana's argument with Mrs. Lincoln. The meanest witch I have ever met. I saw her yell at a stylist and make her cry. I vowed never to go back to that place. I am amazed by Ana's back bone. I see those eyes again watching, and I can't fight the jealousy.

We make our way to the fireworks and stand near Ana and Christian. Yes, I am doing it to be near those eyes. I need to feel for a second that he is watching me, but sadly I know he isn't. He watching her because that is who he is. As we make our way to the limo, I feel strange that I want to walk up to him say some thing anything, but sadly, I am chicken. I just leave with Harland. I turn one last time hoping to see him. The fates are kind because he is looking at me and guess what Ana is no where to be found. I smile and he nods at me. My heart flutters, and I know I am in trouble. I remind myself as I get in the limo that love and me don't mix. That guys like that are trouble. Harland looks in my eyes, and he knows. Dang, that is the one thing I hate about him. He always knows.

"Don't start, Harland," I say.

He just smiles and undoes his tie. Thankfully he drops it and begins to fill me in on all the nights gossip and drama. It turns out that Ana and Christian had extra security because of a crazy stalker chick. I get pale. Harland looks at me. I tell him about my walk last night with Max and the girl standing outside Ana's place. Now I feel horrible that I didn't text her. He also tells me that I wasn't the only green eyed monster. He heard from many a source that Lily wasn't the only jealous person over Christian bringing at date. He has it on good authority that Elena Lincoln was fit to be tied over it. I know realize that he has no idea who I was watching tonight. Christian Grey was not the man I was watching.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry fans for the delay. The story was intimidating me. I think I have found my way. EL James wrote a wonderful book, but I am going to take some liberties with the next few chapters. I am adding my character where EL James said that it was just Anastasia. Again, I don't own these characters. They are EL Jame's. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me.

After Harland's reveal in the limo home, I don't feel safe walking Max alone. It sounds silly. The homeless girl doesn't want me, but I guess I am just a little off tonight. Harland agrees to stay with me and take Max for a walk even though he just wants to sleep. I set Harland up on the couch once we return. He is asleep in minutes. Max and I head into the bedroom. For some reason, I can't sleep. I have this lonely ache that I can't seem to shake. Sometimes it is hard being surrounded by that much opulence. They don't know that I don't belong. They assume that since I went to Harvard I must fit in, but I know and that is all that matters. Tonight, I just feel lonely down to my core. Dr. Flynn says that this feeling is from being abandoned by my mother and spending my first six months in foster care. He also tells me that my rocky first 11 years doesn't help. I swear he makes this stuff up. If I had only known that this week would go down as the strangest in my life, I would have savored the peace of this night and tomorrow. I settle into my bed, and do my accountant thing and count backwards until I finally fall asleep.

My dream starts out with me and my hunky mystery man dancing at the Grey mansion. The moonlight is illuminating the bay and the band is playing softly. Then the scene switches. We are in the woods. He is chopping wood outside a cabin, and I am returning from the woods with wild flowers and berries. He is in flannel and jeans, and I am in a long floral skirt. He follows me into the cabin and pins me to the wall. His hands are traveling up my skirt. I am barely breathing. The excitement is building, and then I feel a wet nose against my cheek. Another dream ruined by Max. Max is awake and telling me it is time for his walk. God I love this dog, but really his timing is amazing.

I love Sunday mornings in Seattle. It is quiet on the streets. The smell of coffee fills the air. We take a nice long walk because I know sleeping beauty will not rise any time soon. On our way back, we stop at the bakery and get some pastries. When we return, he is still asleep. I feed Max and make a pot of coffee. I go to take a shower. As I get out, I hear the tv and know that someone is awake. The box of pastries is nearly gone by the time I get in there.

"Thanks, for sharing with me," I say with a laugh. He just smiles.

We sit and talk for a long time. For some reason we are talking about the old days back in Cambridge. He gets a text from his parents reminding him that they are waiting for him to go sailing. He asks me to join him, but I decline. I tell him I have too much to do before work tomorrow. He leaves in the limo, and it is just Max and me. I go back to my usual Sunday routine which includes reading the paper, putting clothes together for the week, laundry, and finally a nice long walk with Max. I make us chicken tacos for dinner and then it is off to bed.

Monday morning is always such a drag, but I know I need to get in early to meet about Mr. Grey. I take the early bus. I get into work and make some coffee. The joy of being one of the first in. As I am reviewing my email, I see one from Hyde. He is asking management to take Ana to New York for a convention. The crazy thing is they agreed. Haven't they learned yet with him? I guess not. I find myself staring out the window as Mr. Grey's SUV pulls up. I actually am such a freak that I stop breathing as I wait to see if he gets out with her. I see him get out of the car confidently. He is watching up and down the street before he opens her door. He follows behind her to the our front door. I watch as the suv pulls away and he heads to the coffee shop across the street. I suddenly want different coffee, but Jeremy needs me to sign off on something. The phone starts ringing, and I know I am not getting away anytime soon.

By the time I make it to our coffee room, Ana is getting her tea. We talk for a moment about the party. I ask her to join Claire and I for lunch. She agrees. I tell her 12. She says that she brought her lunch. I tell her that I have to grab something from the coffee shop, but I will be there by 12. I shake my head at myself exactly how crazy am I.

The rest of my morning is preparing budgets and payroll reports for Mr. Grey. The messenger will be here at 11:30 to pick up the information to take to Grey House. I soon find an NDA and confidentiality agreement in my email from Carrick Grey. So this is how the big dogs play? I print it out and sign it. I put it in the documents to be messengered. I wonder if Harland will be looking at these. The next email makes me smile. Management is telling me that I must review and approve all expenses involving travel. No unnecessary travel will be allowed. I do a little happy dance. I can save Anastasia. Roach comes to my office to further his point about expenses. "Fine tooth comb," He says,"No Extras." I tell him I will not be allowing Anastasia to go with Hyde then. He approves of my decision and returns to his office.

Claire finds it strange that I want to get lunch from the coffee shop, but comes with me anyhow. Our eyes meet the second I walk in. I feel the heat in my cheeks. He returns his eyes to the street. Can't blame him he has a job to do. Claire asks if I know him so I play it cool and just say no. It is true. I don't, and I don't really want to go into Harland fancy dinner me stalking this poor guy. The story sounds a little crazy to me. I try not to stare. He glances at me again, but I know his focus has to be on our door. I wish I was brave like Claire. I would have walked up and introduced myself, but I truly am an accountant when it comes to matters of the heart. Numbers make sense, love not so much.

When we get back to the office, Ana is sitting at a table in our lunchroom. Claire begins to tease me, and Ana just smiles. I am glad that she hasn't figured out who Claire is talking about. Claire goes on about her family reunion. Ana tells us that she is upset that she won't be joining Jack in New York City. I look at Ana very seriously. I tell her that Jack is dangerous, and she needs to be careful. Ana tells me she can handle herself, but I know that she doesn't understand about Jack. I swear I hear her say, "You sound like Fifty" under her breath. I will have to keep an eye out. Claire is shocked that I was so honest. I tell her Ana is a great person, and she deserves to know.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a flash. I hesitate as I leave at 6:45. I see that Ana and Jack are going to be here alone. I grab Henry the security guard as I am leaving. I ask him to keep an eye on Jack and Ana. Of course, Henry doesn't ask why. Everyone knows Hyde is no good. I don't know how he hasn't been caught. I hurry out the door so I don't miss the bus. Max is going to kill me.

Max and I go for a walk by Ana's to check for the homeless girl. There are no lights. I hope she went to Christian's and not still with Hyde. I really hope she is okay. As I get home, I make dinner. I turn on my computer to do a little more work. I have a lot of data to analyze. Don't want Grey's people to see anything amiss. My work email pings. It is a message from Christian at 10 at night.

Angelica,

Henry told my head of security what you said tonight as you were leaving tonight. Thank you for looking out for Ana. I am glad to know that she works with people who care about her.

Thank you,

Christian Grey

I respond immediately with "Of course, Mr. Grey. I think the world of Ana."

Okay yes, I want him to know I am up working this late. I am trying to save my job.

Tomorrow will begin the craziness that I would never have seen coming in a million years. I am after all just an accountant.


	5. Chapter 5

Ana is looking very relaxed today. Claire, Ana, and I meet up in the coffee room. Ana, poor thing, is stuck getting Jack's coffee. We all make plans to grab lunch again. Ana tells us about sailing with Christian on Sunday and how peaceful it was. She says she could use that with dealing with Jack this morning. Claire once again talks about the family reunion. Sometimes she repeats that same stories over and over again. Claire tells Ana that Christian is dreamy. I almost choke on my coffee. On my way back to my office, I hear Jack give Ana a hard time for taking so long. I send her an I am sorry email. She emails back not to worry. The morning files by with all of the Grey team request. Ana emails that Jack is asking her to get lunch, and would Claire and I like to tag along then we could all sit down and eat.

When Claire and I arrive, it seems as if Ana is checking with Christian about leaving for a lunch. This seems alarming to me, but I calm myself by saying this is my damage of bad controlling boyfriends not Ana's. As we exit the building, Ana's bodyguard is right there. Ana waves hi, and I nearly freeze as does Claire. Claire being the pal that she is says, "Ana, who is your friend?"

Ana replies,"Oh this is Sawyer. He works for Christian she says coolly." I smile because I know what she isn't saying.

Claire pipes up with,"Hi I am Claire and this is Angelica." He shakes Claire's hand first. As I take his hand, I feel a calmness run through me as though my hand belongs there. I see a confused look cross his face as though he feels something too. Ana seems to notice the interaction although both Sawyer and I try to recover. Sawyer tries to be discreet, but I can tell that the distraction of Claire and I has him on edge. It seems like he is nervous enough guarding Ana, but having us is just making his job harder. Ana and Sawyer are having some kind of low conversation that neither Claire nor I can hear. When we get back to the office, Ana takes Jack his sandwich. She gets him some coffee and then joins us in the lunch room. I am very thankful that she doesn't bring up Sawyer. I think I could say his name all day long. I feel like going back to my office and doodling it like a school girl. Okay, seriously stop with the nonsense my brain screams. You are the VP of Accounting. Geez. Ana can't take a long lunch. She says that Hyde is keeping her busy. Ana emails me that she was wondering if I wanted to join her, Christian, and her best friends brother for dinner. I feel a set up coming. I politely decline. I say that I have to get home for my dog. She tells me that she will text me the place they are eating, and maybe I can stop by for drinks. I tell her that sounds nice. I want to say invite your bodyguard, and I will be there. Part of me wonders if he will be there, but at 6 I get my answer when I see the Audi pull up without him.

I leave shortly after they do. I get home and change into jeans and a white shirt. I take Max for a walk. On my way back, I see the Audi in front of Ana's place but no sign of Ana or Christian. I put Max in the house and get him some dinner. I check myself in the mirror and then text Ana. She tells me change of plans. She won't be much company, but they are at the bar across from her house. I show up and see an Ana that looks like no Ana I have seen. Ethan starts to tell me what happened when Ana tells him not to. I feel like an outsider. I go to the bar and get a Jameson's. When i get back, I see my shrink going into Ana's building. The shock must read on my face because Ana asks me what is wrong. This I am not ready to admit.

I say nothing. I also tell Ana that I know what's happening at SIP. I tell her that Christian's people had me sign an NDA and confidentiality statement, so anything she says to me is totally protected. Ethan looks at us like we are crazy, but that statement seems to put Ana at ease. It is like she understands what the NDA means. I laugh to myself thinking yeah he probably makes his girlfriends sign one. He really seems that Anal. The next sight shocked me. Christian is carrying Homeless chick out of Ana's building with Flynn right behind him. I try to not looked shocked or ask Ana what the hell. She seems to breakdown at this point, and I am filled in on all the details. Crazy chick, gun, Christian yelling at her to get out. Some guy named Taylor carrying her out. I am actually speechless. She tells me all of this while Ethan is at restroom. I tell her that there has to be a good explanation. I am sure Christian will clue her in when she gets home. She looks doubtful at me, but seems to feel better. After a few more Jameson's, we realize how late it is and that we are going to hurt tomorrow at work. Ethan laughs at us. I offer to walk Ana home but Ethan says that he has it covered. Ana hugs me and thanks me for listening. I tell her any time. I really hope she is drunk because she says in a sing song voice, "I know you like Sawyer." I decide to pretend I didn't hear what she said and head home. I figure denial is the best answer. I follow the old hangover avoider. I drink 3 glasses of water for each Jameson's and take two Advil. I know this will only do so much.

The next morning Ana looks better than I expected. Sadness fills me as I don't see Sawyer. I figure his job is done now that crazy chick is gone. I tell myself that this is for the best. I was just being silly. I check with Ana first thing, and she tells me that Christian explained everything. She seems to be keeping a secret, but I am sure I am just paranoid about the whole Sawyer thing. Hyde is all over her because she was late this morning. I can hear him barking at her as I return to my desk with my third cup of coffee. I am not as bright eyed as Ana this morning. I want to know what her secret is probably tons of sex with Mr. Hotty. I laugh at the idea. On one of my trips for coffee, I run into Ana. She invites me for drinks on Friday night. She says that her college friend is coming into town, and that Ethan's sister will be back as well. I agree because Flynn is always telling me that I isolate myself from people. Oh Flynn, that brings up memories of last night. I wonder if I can ask him about it on Thursday night. I can ask but I am sure he won't answer.

As I am on my way past reception, I see Ethan. I say hi as Ana brings him something. I ask Ana how she is holding up and she just gives me this look of total desperation. I ask if she wants to do lunch, and she says that she needs to do some thinking at lunch. I say to her that we will catch up tomorrow. I really hate Jack Hyde. I am half tempted to go in and tell him to leave her alone. I wish I had that power.

I have so much going on that I barely notice that it is 6:15. I see that Jack is on his phone. I thought he would be off to New York by now. Now that it is quiet I open my office door. I see Jack is off the phone. I print one more document. As it finishes printing, I get up to head to the kitchen for a cookie and coffee. As I head to the coffee room I see that the door is closed. How strange i think to myself. I hear a cry and I rush in. I find Ana shaken but seems to be okay. Jack, on the other hand, isn't looking so good. I grab Ana and get her out of there. She tells me she needs her purse and jacket. I take her to the front door immediately knowing that Christian and his men will be there. I get her out the door. I then turn to go back to Hyde. I am so angry. I was right there, and I let Christian down. As I make my way to the coffee room and begin to yell at Jack, I feel a strong hand on my shoulder. The very good looking driver of Christian's gently tells me that he has this. He tells me that I should go check on Ana.

As I make my way outside the building, I pass Christian. I apologize to him, but he seems to be a man on a mission. I go and sit with Ana in the Audi. She seems more worried about Christian then about what could have happened. She is staring at the door. When I see Taylor, Christian, and Hyde return, I make my way back into the building. Christian's driver tells me that I should probably go home now. He asks if I have a ride. I tell him that I take the bus usually. He tells me that his name is Taylor and that he is going to send one of him men to take me home tonight. He asks for my number and tells me that someone will be by in 15 minutes. I go inside to wait. This has been one heck of a two days. I mean seriously yesterday was crazy chick and today I almost witness Ana being assaulted by Jack. As if the fates had it in for me, I look out the window, and Sawyer is waiting to drive me home.


	6. Chapter 6

Oh my God, he is waiting for me. I will be in a car alone. Okay breathe I say to myself. I wait for the call. Taylor calls and tells me that his security person Mr. Sawyer is outside in the Audi. I should proceed to him. As I make my way out of the building, I work on calming my nerves and breathing. I smile when I see him out there like I am greeting an old friend. What the hell? He reaches for my hand again. The feeling is like a perfect glove. One that seems like it was meant for your fingers. Since no one is around, we let it linger. It was like when you take a sip of wine or a small bite of a perfect dessert like you are savoring the feeling or the taste. The moment is broken when his phone rings.

"Yes, sir, I have the package, he states in the phone. Talk about the magic being gone. He is UPS and I am just a delivery. He motions for me to get into the car. I enter the back of the car. As he is going to the driver's side, I put my seatbelt on. He gets in and asks my address. I tell him. I am telling myself this is like any other cab. We proceed for a few blocks in total silence only the news radio in the background. News radio really, my brain ponders. He seems cooler than that. I begin to fret about letting Anastasia and Mr. Grey down. Will my job be in danger? Breathe I tell myself it will be okay. As if he can feel my tension, he looks in the rearview. Our eyes meet. He begins to speak. His voice is business but his eyes show concern. Taylor said that you were very brave tonight. He is amazed that you kept your head. "What? Really," I think. I just nod and say in a low voice, "I should have gotten there sooner." He nods. "We all feel that way," he says. Oh that is right, he is probably thinking if I had been there I could have protected Ms. Steele.

As we approach my street, I see him deep in thought. I can tell something is on his mind. I hope that it is me, but I don't want to get ahead of myself.

"Umm this is going to sound crazy, but I have Sunday off. Would you like to grab a coffee," he asks? I seriously want to shake my head and ask if I heard him right. I pretend these things happen to be daily. I take a deep breathe. I wait just a few seconds then I say, "Sure." I tell him that since he has a much tougher schedule that he should call me on Saturday to arrange a time. I swear I see him exhale like he was holding his breath.

I get out and say, "Thank you. See you Sunday." I proceed into my apartment. I don't look back because I am trying to be cool. A cool accountant now that is very funny. When I get in, I realize I have to take Max for a walk. I am suddenly afraid. I know Max can feel my fear. I tell myself that Jack Hyde is not after me. He is not out there. He probably at a bar licking his wounds and looking at some young thing. I grab Max's leash and make this a very quick walk.

I have really started to love Ana. She is down to earth. She is nice, but what happens today makes me question all of that. I come into an emailing saying that Jack has been let go and Ana will be for the time being taking his place. The girl who has worked here for 2 weeks. The kid who graduated about a month ago really? I run through last nights events. I am confident that I saw what I saw and it wasn't a set up. Damn, I am just so confused. I know these are my issues of mistrust. I am thankful Ana is busy with her new job today. I am afraid my issues would damage our young friendship. I eat alone even avoiding Claire. Of course, Claire asked me if i knew anything, and I pretended to be dumb. I hope my name is never mentioned. I figure Christian really doesn't need me to support that story.

So, I leave tonight. I have to take Max for a walk and feed him before my appointment. Dr. Flynn has late hours on Thursday. I usually have the 6 appointment, but tonight I ask for the 7. My night is running ahead of schedule. I decide that Dr. Flynn's office is usually very quiet. I grab that new book by EL James and go to his office. It is just down the street, so I walk. I get there 20 minutes early. As I walk in, I am never so sorry I am early. There is Christian Fing Grey. He is pacing the office like a caged lion. I walk in so confused. Really, Christian Grey and I have the same therapist. I suddenly feel unworthy. Now, Tuesday night makes perfect sense. Christian called his doctor to handle the crazy lady. Someone already bound to secrecy. Wow I am stunned at the levels money goes to to protect its secrets.

Christian looks at me confused. I come up with the only answer I can, "I am his 7." Still confused. "I have been coming here for 3 years. My doctor recommended John," I counter. He seems to take this in. "Listen, I am so sorry about last night. I should have done more. I promise you I didn't hear anything. If I had known, he had cornered her in the coffee room, I would have been there. I was printing reports. I must have missed it," I tell him. I am really not sure I even took any oxygen in during that whole speech.

Christian looks at me with those piercing grey eyes. It is like he is scanning my soul to see if I am telling the truth. Then he speaks,"I am sure you did all that you could do. I am not blaming you. Did he ever try anything on you?"

God, time for honest I guess. I look him in the eyes. I tell him that I was newly hired only there a few days. I was trying to be impressive, but feeling overwhelmed. Jack found me in the coffee room and asked me to meet him for drinks. Jack was so warm and inviting. It was like he had read a book on how to do this. He was so smooth, and no one warned me. I told him that Jack and I went drinks near the office. We were at the bar having what I thought was a great time. I headed to the restroom, but something call it six sense made me turn to look back. As I did, I saw him opening a package over my drink. He used my straw to stir it. I headed into the bathroom. I began to panic. Should I run now? Do I stay? Whatever will I do. Then a moment of brilliance struck me. I walked out of the bathroom and back to our seats. He was smiling. I picked up my drink, and I swear I saw him just waiting. So I did the only think i could and let the drink slip through my fingers onto my skirt. I blamed it on the condensation. Now my skirt was wet so I told him I must go home. He told me that he would drive me but I pretended to live far away. I told him it was no biggee, and I would see him tomorrow. I then made every excuse to avoid him. Finally they gave him interns and he left me alone. My face fell as I realized. They gave him interns. Oh crap did he? No, he wouldn't have, but as I watched Christian's face, I knew the answer. I have never felt so horrible. I should have turned him in the hell with my career. Christian seems to sense my panic. He tells me that Jack would have found a way. Guys like him always find a way. I smile a small smile, but I know I should have stopped him years ago. I suddenly feel guilty for thinking the worst of Ana today. This week has certainly done wonders for my emotions. We move to more gentle topics Ana, the weather etc.

The door begins to open, and Christian and I turn. It is Ana and Dr. Flynn. She looks from me to Christian with absolute confusion. I quickly say," Hey Doc, I am here for my 7. Small world huh Ana." Ana just nods. We say our good nights, as they leave, I head in. The good doctor and I handle all of our usual topics-my lack of trust but I bring up my new friendship with Ana. I tell him how I agreed to go for drinks on Tuesday to which I mention I saw him. He is so good he doesn't even look at me, and I mention tomorrow night with all her friends. He says that he is proud. Then I drop the Ana's bodyguard coffee on him. He looks at me with utter disbelief. Did I really just tell him that I am meeting a man for coffee. It is like we feel the earth move together. Could I really be letting people in? He tells me that he is proud. He tells me to remember to keep an open mind and have fun over the next few days. We make my appointment for next week, and I leave his office. I am actually very happy tonight. I feel like I am opening a new chapter in my story. Of course, I don't know that while I am with Flynn , Christian is having his people run a total background check on me. The email with the information goes to Taylor and Christian. Taylor has it open while Sawyer is in the room. Sawyer now knows the whole story.

Adopted by John and Joanne Miller at 6 months of age

John Miller dies days before her 4th birthday.

Is witness in minor sexual assault at age 11

graduates high school goes to Harvard

while in Harvard, boyfriend arrested for battery against Ms. Miller. Record reflects Ms. Miller was hospitalized for 3 days from injuries.

then the record thankfully goes quiet

Sawyer just sits there not sure if he should have seen any of it given Sunday. How can he pretend not to know all her dirty items. Now he isn't sure if she should even call.

Christian is even sorry he knows. He closes his computer and heads back to Ana. He feels a kindred spirit. He is thankful that John is helping her.


	7. Chapter 7

This day is so good. I actually wake up excited. I am doing what normal people do. I am going out for drinks after work with friends. This is crazy exciting for me. I take Max for his walk. I come back and get ready for work. I put on my favorite yellow skirt with the blue flowers and a blue tank top. I put a white shirt over it open to act as a jacket. I feel like I could skip to work. I stop at my favorite coffee shop and grab a coffee. The sun is shining and I am ready.

The day almost flies by. Before I know it, Ana has called to ask if I am ready. I tell her that I am going to run home and walk Max then I will meet up with them. I tell her this way she will have a little time to catch up with Jose. By the time I get there, her friend Kate and her brother Ethan, from the other night, are there. I have just grabbed some drinks from the bar. I am talking to Ethan and Jose while Kate and Ana go to the bathroom. We are having a great conversation. I can feel myself relax. I always feel that these moments should be a warning to me. No sooner did I start to relax and enjoy the night, then the whole night began to unravel. We see Ana and Kate turn toward us. Kate is on her cell phone. She hands it to Ana. The look on her face could have shattered glass. It was as though someone had punched her. You could see all the air leave her body and the soul crushing begin. I wanted to run to her, but I knew that it wasn't really my place. Kate and Ana come back to the table. They are quickly gathering their stuff and filling us in on what happened. I couldn't fathom what she was saying. All I kept hearing was Christian...missing...helicopter... I walked them to the door and watched as they all went for a cab. I couldn't go with them. I would have felt like a person who was trying to put yourself where you just don't belong. They did invite me, but I knew that it was no place for the new friend to be.

I walked home in a daze. It was like watching the first spring flowers break free of the frozen ground. They give you such hope that spring is coming. That is how I felt about what I had witnessed with Ana and Christian. I had watched the flower spring up, and it gave me hope that love existed. It gave me hope, but like that sneaky frost that is always waiting for that flower just to try to destroy it, that is how I felt tonight. When I got home, I took Max for a long walk. It was like I hoped I could walk off the cruelty that I had just witnessed. The cruelty of life how it can take something beautiful and try to destroy it. I felt my pocket vibrate more than once, but I needed to be alone. Hope was for the weak I reminded myself. I was thankful that Sawyer hadn't called. I just couldn't stand the thought of trying something that was so fragile. When I couldn't walk any further because of the chill of the night or that creepy feeling of being watched was getting to be too much, I returned home. I dug my phone out of my pocket. There was a text from Ana's friend Ethan to say no news. I returned the text with a thanks, please tell Ana I am thinking of her. The second was a missed call from Harland reminding me that I was his date to Christian's birthday party don't forget to wear my LBD(Little Black Dress). That one actually made me laugh. Sometimes I really think he lives under a rock, has he not heard the news tonight. The last was a message from Sawyer. He sounds as heartbroken as Ana looked. He said that he wasn't sure what to do. He wants to have coffee but with everything going on he isn't sure he can. He will keep me posted. I had to admire Christian even his employees were lost without him.

At 11, after a glass of Jameson's and a long hot shower, I turned on the tv. It was the same footage over and over. The television was showing pictures of Christian at various charity balls and speaking engagements. I remember being around 15 with my mom glued to the tv watching the footage of John F Kennedy Jr hoping against hope that he would be found alive clinging to some wreckage. With each passing hour, my mom began to know it would never happen. It was like she was loosing her own dreams that day. The news footage reminds me of that. Max's head is in my lap and I am mindlessly petting him. Suddenly, the news changes. The script flashes Christian Grey alive. They show him entering Escala looking okay just very dirty and tired. They pepper him with questions none of which he answers. I send Ana a quick text to tell her that I am happy he is back to her. I turn off the tv still bummed at the cruelty of life, but feel like maybe the flower will survive.

The next morning comes very early and very loudly. Someone is banging on my door like the place is on fire. My head is hurting. I really probably shouldn't have had the Jameson's. I roll over and grab my robe. At the door is Harland.

"Oh no, you didn't forget our appointment today did you," He asks?

"Our appointment?" I ask utterly confused.

"Yes, manis and pedis for Mr. Hotties big birthday party!"

"They are still having it."

"Yes girl now it is a big time celebration," He looks at me like I am the crazy one. "What happened to you?"

"I was a little depressed when I thought that life had robbed Ana of her prince charming and may have had a little too much Irish Whiskey," I look at him sheepishly.

"Oh geez girl let's get going."

"I have to walk Max," I say.

"Go take a shower and Max and I will go get you a cup of joe."

Sometimes I am really amazed at how awesome he is. I grab my standard hangover cure and hit the shower.

By the time they get back I am feeling human again. With my coffee in hand, we head out the door. He is talking about his latest conquest. He is 6 foot 4 and Italian. He is a chef at the restaurant near his office. We head toward Elena's shop. I can't believe he made the appointment here. I really hate giving her my business. Much to my amazement, Elena looks really bad. She is witchier than usual. As we are getting our feet done I am watching Elena like she is a train wreck. I just can't stop watching. The girl doing my pedicure notices my watching and fills me in that she is upset that Christian never called her last night or today. I snicker to myself. Serves ya right you hanger on.

When we are all done we head to lunch and then back to my place. I didn't notice before but he had brought his tux with him. We take Max for a long walk. It is so comfortable between us like two old friends. My phone starts to vibrate. Harland takes it out of my pocket because he sees that I am trying to ignore it. I forgot that I had added Sawyer to my contacts last night in a moment of weakness.

Harland looks suspiciously at my phone then me. "Sawyer," he asks?

"Sawyer," I say casually like it is an every day thing

"Who is Sawyer? Are you holding out on me?"

"Sawyer is no one," I say.

"Sawyer is someone. I saw your face."

I mumble that he is Christian's sexy bodyguard from the other night.

"You were watching the bodyguard," He says in absolute shock.

"Yea, so," I am defensive now.

"What the heck are you doing?" he says.

"Nothing. There was a problem at work the other night and he drove me home. I think he felt bad for me and asked me for coffee."

"What problem at work?"

"That scummy guy who tried to drug me attacked Ana and I came to her aid."

"What? Why didn't you call me?"

"I don't know. I have been out of sorts this week." If he only knew about Ana and the crazy girl.

Now I have to deal with crushed feelings tonight. Great. Lovely. We head back to the apartment to get ready. I sneak into my room to listen to Sawyer's message.

"Hey Angelica, this is Sawyer listen the boss is okay and he is in a really great mood. He has told all of us to take the weekend off. I hope you are still free for coffee tomorrow."

I smile a real smile the one that creeps up your face before you know it. I turn to see Harland staring at me.

"Okay fine I am attracted to Christian's bodyguard."

"Just watch yourself. These are the guys who always hurt you."

I know I know. He is right. He is always right. He comes in and gives me a bear hug. He hugs me so tight that he cracks my back. "I will always be there for you," he says with his classic smile.

"I know and same for me to you."

"Now let's go show these Grey's how to party," he says.

We head out to the limo that is waiting. Then with a devilish look in his eyes he says that maybe my bodyguard will be there. I can be Whitney and this guy can be my Kevin Costner. I laugh a full laugh. I laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Only my best friend would relate my favorite movie to my life. That is what friends are for. With that I am reminded that I never called him back.

"Shh, not a word. I am calling him and I am going to arrange to have coffee with him," I say giving him a tough look which just makes him laugh.

"Okay Okay but I may tag along to be your back up just in case," he says giving me his megawatt smile.

"Sawyer," I say,"This is Angelica. Would you still like to have coffee?"

"Yes," He says.

He asks if I know the little place in the Pike District. I tell him that I do. He asks if morning or afternoon would be better. I tell him that I am going out with friends tonight so Afternoon would be better. "How about 3," He asks.

"3 would be great."

"See you then Angelica."

I let out the breathe I didn't know I was holding. Harland looks a little crushed but we always feel this way when one of us dates. I remind him that he has his hunky Italian. Enough boy talk I tell him. We need to get ready to party.

"Maybe Mr. Grey will make those fabulous Lemon drops." I can just taste how good they are.

"Oh those are good." Harland says.

And with that, we spend the rest of the ride in relaxed silence of two old friends who will always have each other's backs.


	8. Chapter 8

The house is as beautiful as always. Grace looks even more amazing. She is absolutely beaming. Carrick is his usual charming self. Harland's parents are there. They are so happy to see us together. Mia comes bounding at us. Kate, Ethan, and Elliot are there. It shocks me to see Ethan standing with Mia. I am actually surprised to hear that Ana's friend Jose had gone fishing. I was looking forward to seeing him. Elena is also there. She has put herself together. From the smell on her breathe, I am thinking a little Grey Goose has helped to relax her.

We are all standing in the room. I can tell that the wait staff has been instructed to pass out champagne. I am thinking that we are going to toast the birthday boy. Harland and I find the perfect spot to watch. We have the perfect view of the room. I have a clear view of Ana, Christian, Harland's parents, the Grey Family, and Elena. Christian makes a speech about how happy he is that we all came and then he shocks the room. He tells us all that he has asked Ana to marry him, and she has agreed. I am so glad I hadn't taken a drink because I know I would have sprayed it. Then Grace says,"To Christian and Ana." To Christian and Ana we say back. Well the old bag Elena looks like she is about to spew fire. I am actually so happy that she is upset. I see that my good doctor is here with his beautiful wife. I give him a nod that is very hard to recognize but I know he knows that I am saying hi without saying hi.

The room is filled with happiness tonight. It is such an amazing feeling. I go to give Ana a hug and tell her congrats. We spend a few minutes talking. She fills me in on last night and today. She is actually giving off such a warm happy glow. I just am amazed at her happiness. We take a little walk and she is headed to the kitchen, and I am going to the bathroom. On my way to the bathroom, I see Elena heading toward the kitchen. I really hope she isn't going to talk to Ana. On my way back from the bathroom, I hear a raised voice that sounds like Grace. Ana comes out of the kitchen looking a little shaken. I go to her immediately.

"Are you okay?"

"uh yea," Ana half answers

She seems a million miles away I can tell she is trying to listen to the kitchen yet appear that she isn't. I feel strange standing there because I am sure I shouldn't hear what is happening in the kitchen. Ana introduces me to Christian's number 1. She walks by us on her way to get her purse. She needs a smoke. I almost ask to join her. This is intense, but I know my place is with Ana. Ana asks me to take a small walk upstairs with her. I walk her to Christian's room. She shows me his boyhood bedroom. I feel like it is a strange sneak peak into a titan. There is a bulletin board and trophies. All the things normal teenage boys would have. There is a haunting image of a girl on the board with brown hair. I look at it, but know that I should not try to figure it out. We talk a little more of life and heart ache. I hear foot steps on the stairs and know that her prince is coming for her. I excuse myself. We pass in the hallway. He looks a little broken. I am not sure why, but the look is hard for me to take. He is a giant in my world, but in this moment, he is mortal. He isn't Superman but yet just Clark Kent. I tell him congrats and run to find Harland. It is a fabulous party with food and drink. Mr. Grey did make the lemon drops. Harland and I are enjoying them with Mia and Ethan. We are having such a blast. Ethan and Kate join our little party. Ana and Christian disappear to the boathouse. Harland and I excuse ourselves. We hug Mia, Ethan, Kate, Elliot, Mr. and Mrs. Grey, and Harland's parents. Kate says that she hopes to see more of me as we leave. Mia says that I will have to join them for dress shopping. I say absolutely. This has been a lot of fun. Harland laughs at me. I know that the idea of me dress shopping with the upper crust is hilarious. My idea of upscale is the 80% off rack at Macy's.

It is so nice to have the limo. The nice buzz takes over on the way back to my apartment. We are both enjoying the light headed feeling. We get back, and take Max for a quick walk. I make up the couch for Harland, and I head for the bedroom. Max the trader opts to sleep with Harland. Just like the last Grey party, I feel alone again. It isn't jealousy. It is the absence of feeling. It is the feeling that love can't exist and certainly not true love. I know that I envy Ana, but in the same breath, I pity her. If I am right, she will be just as sad and miserable in 2 years max. Ana's misery will be 100 times worse than the rest of us. She will have been with a God and fallen to earth from Mount Olympus. I know that pain must be unbearable. I shake it off and think it happened for Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman maybe it can happen. Then I laugh and head to my bed. I know sleep won't be hard, but do you know that feeling when you have had plenty of alcohol and should pass out into dreamless sleep? That usually doesn't happen instead my past collides with me and sends me messages from the past.

I settle into my bed and drift off to sleep, but it doesn't feel like a dream. It feels real. I am back to that night a million nights ago. I am in my first year of my Master's program. The current loser is on my couch enjoying a beer and a pizza he ordered on me from the corner place. I have a tab there since I am pretty much a regular. I have just finished my night at the bar and before that since it is a Saturday, I spent the morning cleaning Mrs. Montgomery's house. Yes, I clean houses and work at a bar to stay at Harvard. It isn't glamorous, but I figure when I get my degree, I will have the cleaning girl. As I come through the door I realize it is probably beer number 2 after at least two to three shots of Grey Goose. I know this because I find my grey goose bottle and a beer bottle in my recycling. The last few days he has been freezing me out but still enjoying my couch and tv. As Harland said today, "Why did you give him a key? Angie, he is a serious waste of space. I know you think of him as a puppy you can save, but Sister, this one is hot but a waste." Gotta love the Gay way of thinking. He gave me a hug and little did I know that 12 hours later he would be my hero again.

Gary is angry I can read the language. I don't know why, and he won't say. All day I have run through my usual rules that I break, did I clean the counters correctly-check, did I wash four pairs of jeans not five check, did I vacuum in a straight then horizontal-check, and did I make his lunch crust off-check. Did I pay his car insurance on time-check? I just don't know.

"Hey, Gary," I say to his silence.

I go to give him a kiss and he pushes me away.

I go to the fridge and grab a beer since he drank my grey goose from the freezer. After a long night at the bar, that would have tasted good.

I go into the room to change. I put my cellphone on the charger by the nightstand. I feel him behind me. He grabs me and throws me against the wall. His hot alcohol breath on me. "Where ya been bitch," he says with full anger. "Have you been out with your boyfriend?" he asks.

"Gary, don't be silly. I had to work at the bar tonight." I say in a serious but fun tone hoping to calm him. I know he has been dealing with some crap from his family lately.

"I saw him hugging you today. Did he touch your panties too?"

"Don't be silly we had lunch and he was giving me strength since I have been trying to figure out what I did wrong. Unless I become a man, he has no use for me" This is a half truth. In college one night, we both got wasted as freshman. He was still deciding, and well I was having a low self esteem night. We tried to hook up, but it was strange. There was no attraction, so it didn't happen. The next morning we both said, "look I like you but let's never do that again." That ended any problems as far as hooking up and instead made our friendship rock solid. I have a bad feeling knowing he is following me.

"Who else you screwing?" he says and as he does his liquor breath sprays on me.

"No one, I swear."

"I don't believe you," and before I know it is hand is across my face. He has me pinned to the wall. He sprays out,"You are a lying witch." With that he hits me again. He grabs me by the hair and throws me to the bed. I fall with thud. He hikes up my skirt, and somehow finds a way to get his pants off. He takes a few more slaps at me. I beg him not like this please. He tells me that I should shut up and take it like I take it for all the other guys. He picks me up and throws me up on the bed. This time his aim is off and my head hits the nightstand with a thud. The pain is unbearable. I realize that this won't be good. I even feel some blood since I hit perfectly on the corner. As I scream in pain, he comes and slaps me again. He tells me that I should like it like that. I really can't figure out where his head is tonight. My head is really killing me. I am starting to feel sick from the pain. He climbs up on top of me and begins to work himself hard. He is saying over and over how I am gonna like it rough with that he slaps me again. I can feel my lip start to swell. I am beginning to cry. He picks me up by my shoulders and tells me to shut up already. I am such a whiny witch. He hits my head on the nightstand again. Now the pain is starting to make the room spin. Thankfully he realizes he needs a condom and heads into the bathroom. I grab my phone and call Harland. I only get out the word Help before he returns. This was a mistake because he is really angry and punches me in the face right in nose. The blood is coming out and I can't breath. He flips me over and brings me up on my knees. He puts himself in and begins to pound me. I actually can't believe this. There is blood coming out of my nose. I am wishing I was laying on my back wishing I would choke to death. For some reason, he pulls my hair which really hurts from the head wound because I am not into it. Hmm I wonder why. I can feel my face swelling, and my head is throbbing. He tells me how hot I am and how if I didn't flirt with other guys he wouldn't get angry that this is all my fault. I am fighting back tears when my Knight comes bursting through the door. He pulls him off of me, but not before he gets his completion. When he flips on the light and sees my face, he begins to beat the daylight out of Gary. I tell him to please just get me to a hospital. By now the back of my head is bleeding along with my nose. I am thankful that he had the sense to use a condom. I don't need that worry. Harland scoops me up and takes me to Mass General where my good friend Alice works. At my lawyer in trainings advice, I pressed charges. I decided at that moment that I would rather live alone than have a man. One year later, I found Max at the shelter. We have been together ever since. I wake up and my pulse rate is through the roof. I get up and splash water on my face. Max senses me and comes to my room. He comes and sits by me. I try to breathe through it and tell myself that it was just a dream. Thankfully justice is slow and by the time the trial ended and Gary got out of jail. I was living in Seattle. It turned out I wasn't his first assault and battery case. This was his 3rd time. He sent me an I am sorry letter from prison. It was forwarded.

I wonder to myself is this about Ana or my pending coffee date with Sawyer. Was it my warning? You are attracted to him. He must be trouble. He is a bodyguard for God's sack. He is trained to attack people. I tell myself it is just coffee. I will be careful. I won't let it get to far. I won't let him meet Max. I feel like meeting Max would confuse Max if I ever need Max to tear him apart. Crazy I know. I finally get my pulse rate down. I have a few glasses of water and settle back into bed. Max puts his body next to mine. He knows I need protection tonight. The question is do I need protection from my coffee date.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: Thank you for all the kind reviews. I am really honored that so many of you are reading the story and enjoying the ride. I hope I don't disappoint.

Chapter 9..

When I wake I feel as though I haven't slept at all. I seem to think I must have continued to dream about my past. Gary wasn't the first bad guy, but I am proud to say he was the last. I roll over and look at the clock. It is 10:00. How did I sleep that long? Do I smell bacon? I walk out of my room to find Harland making pancakes and bacon. Max is laying in the living room. Harland gives me a worried look and says, "You were back there weren't you. Your sheets are a mess so don't even try to tell me no. Besides which I woke up to whimpering and thought it was Max, but it was you."

I give up and answer, "Yes, I was."

"Do you think it is because you agreed to have coffee with this guy. Remember this is just coffee not marriage."

"The problem is I want it and I don't want it. I want someone. I am done with being alone. I want to be like Ana. I want my prince charming. I am scared that I can't get it because of my history."

"One step at a time sweetie baby steps. It is just coffee. You may find out he picks his nose, snorts when he laughs and God forbid likes Tractor Pulls. Now come let's eat then we will run. I have decided that my Italian Sweet Cream and I will be shadowing this date."

"We will walk. I can't run after pancakes."

As we finish our breakfast, I get a text from Sawyer. Taylor, my boss, wants to have a security team meeting at 2. Could we make our coffee at 3:30? I show it to Harland. He reads my self doubt instantly.

"Uh honey, the engagement, Ana's security, She is a big security threat to Christian. He picks up the paper and shows me the front page.

It is a big Headline Who is Christian Grey's mystery women. I smile because he always knows how to make me feel better. Harland laughs as he says, "Your office building is going to be reporter haven." I text Sawyer back that 3:30 is great. We clean up breakfast and I grab sweats and a long sleeve shirt. Harland thankfully brought clothes with him so he showers and changes. We grab Max's leash and off we go.

He tells me all about Mr. Italian Sweet Cream. His real name is Gabriel. They have been on three dates. It turns out that we both need to talk more and vow to have dinner next week. I am absently playing with Max's leash.

"What is the matter," he inquires.

I look up confused and then realize I have been a million miles away. "Some thing strange happens when I shake Sawyer's hand." Harland raises his highbrows willing me to continue. "It is like I am putting my hand in a glove meant just for me and a strange calmness washes over me. It is a feeling like I have never had. It scares me."

Harland takes my hand, and holds it. "You deserve happiness. You let me in, and you seem to be letting Ana in. See if Sawyer is worthy of your heart just take it slow."

He starts planning my clothing for this evening. By the time, we get back it is almost 1. He calls his driver, and texts his Gabriel. "I will be there at 3:00 so I can watch your guy show up."

"I am not looking at you while I am with this guy."

I take a shower and get dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans. I put my new black sandals on. I try to calm myself but nothing really works. I take Max for one quick walk. I leave my place around 3:10. I slowly make my way there. As I walk in, Sawyer almost knocks over the table attempting to stand for me. He has an light around him from the sun. He looks like an angel. He has a white t-shirt and black jeans. His bi-ceps barely fit in the arms of the shirt. I start to walk toward him, but I run into a chair. I stop and my fear seems to ground me there. I see from the corner of my eye Harland, and he is urging me forward. As though Sawyer senses my fear, he moves around the table to me and takes my hand. There it is again that feeling of a perfect fit. I have a feeling of warm chocolate chip cookies and milk. I look into his deep green eyes , and I am not afraid. It is as though the world stands still, and we are all alone. In that moment, we are not in this busy cafe in the middle of Seattle. He says, "Hello," and I answer, "Hello." Our magic is lost as a cup drops to the ground with a crash. I jump and my hand comes out of his. Suddenly, we are back to reality. He asks what I would like, and I tell him a coffee with room for cream. I watch him walk away only to feel my phone vibrate. It is a text from my shadow.

Harland: Holy Tatum Channing girlfriend. Did you two notice we were all staring at your magical moment.

I text back: Yea right.

Harland: Oh honey it was a total Romeo and Juliet moment. I am calling you later. Plus I need to tell you about poor nervous Romeo waiting for Juliet to show up.

I blush again

Sawyer returns with my coffee and some cups of cream. One of them is Italian Sweet Cream. I laugh and Sawyer looks at me puzzled. I tell him that my best friend is dating a guy and he nicknamed him Italian Sweet Cream because he is an Italian Pastry Chef. Sawyer instantly impresses me. He doesn't have the weird straight guy reaction to a Gay best friend. He has passed my first test.

We start with the basics. I ask him how long he has worked for Christian. He answers with 5 years. He tells me that he grew up on a ranch in Montana. He has two sisters and had an older brother. He gets a far away look as he begins to explain. He and his older brother were inseparable. When his brother left to become a seal, he knew he would too. While he was in Basic, his brother was killed on a mission. His sisters wanted him to quit and his mother has never really recovered. His parents still live on the ranch with his sisters' husbands helping run the place. I tell him that I am sorry for his loss. He just stares at his coffee, and I wait for him. It doesn't take long for him to seem to shrug it off, and we move forward. He lives near me which in my craziness scares me. He explains that technically he works 12 hour shifts, but he is on call when he isn't at work. I tell him that it is funny because we are almost coworkers. Insert silly nervous laughter. We both work for Christian. I tell him how I had to sign the NDA and the confidentiality agreement. He then leans in and says, "You should know that there are going to be lots of changes from the engagement at SIP. Security is going to be much tighter. We are expecting lots of reports outside the doors tomorrow morning."

"Enough about me, " Sawyer says,"How about you?"

I tell him I live near him with Max, my lab rott mix. I tell him Max's story of being found at the shelter as a puppy. I think I am telling him this so he knows I have a big dog. I am not sure I usually never talk about Max. Sawyer breaks my daydream with, "We should go to the dog park one day. I have a black lab named Charlie." After he says this, he gets nervous like he is jumping the gun. I try to ease his nervousness by saying,"Yes that would be great."

He tells me that Charlie was the deciding factor for taking the job with Grey. With my crazy work schedule, it is nice that Escala isn't too far from my apartment. That way I can go take care of Charlie. We talk about the dogs. I am relieved the conversation has moved from me, but he circles back. I gloss over it. I was adopted. My mom has had four husbands and I only liked the third one. He seems to grimace but I am not sure why. My mom is currently in Vegas. I leave out the part that I haven't spoken to her in 6 months. We talk about me going to Harvard. He seems intimidated and I quickly tell him that they needed to fill their quota of poor girls. We have been sitting there for 2 hours. I don't want to go, but I need to feed Max and get ready for work. I look into his green eyes, and I realize now that they have pain too. I wonder what he saw as a Seal. It makes me understand his job choice. I want to know everything about him. I want to sit and listen for hours. I would love to hear about ranch life. We talk for about 45 more minutes. He tells me that he starts every morning with Mr. Grey at 7. I tell him that Max is waiting. I thank him for my coffee.

He takes my hand. He says that it was so nice to sit and talk. My heart begins to race. I am not sure where he is going but if it is flat out good bye I am sure I will crumble. I focus on his eyes. I feel the connection again, and I swear his eyes smile at me. I know that I am okay. He looks down at our hands together and then looks in my eyes, "Angelica," he starts, "Could we do this again, but maybe dinner this time."

I nod yes because my words are lost.

"May I also call and text you this week? I would really like to spend time with you," he states.

I once again nod like a dork.

He lets go of my hand and the world comes back. I feel like I was hypnotized. We walk out together and decide to walk home together since we are going the same direction. About two blocks from my apartment is our parting spot, he goes east and I continue down the same street. As we prepare to part, he takes my hand and gently kisses my knuckles. He tells me that this has been a real pleasure. I thank him again.

I am pretty sure I float home. I walk in and grab my sweater. I give Max some food. When Max is done eating, I grab his leash. Part of me wants to walk toward Sawyer's, but I realize that would seem desperate. Max and I head in the opposite direction. Much to my amazement, I don't let myself go negative. I just use the technique Flynn has been using on me. I remind myself that I am in control. I don't have to let him in too far. He seems great, but I should just take my time. Just take it one day at a time. I can do this. I am my own worst enemy.

When I get home I call Harland. He tells me that he saw the moment I relaxed. He saw my shoulders drop. He saw my hand rest on my leg, and I sat back in my chair. He told me about how Sawyer sat there looking nervous before I came in. He kept looking at his phone and the door until I walked in. I told him that he passed the first test. He didn't get weird when I talked about Harland. I told him he came up since Sawyer brought me Italian Sweet Cream. We both laughed. I asked Harland how coffee with Gabriel was. Harland said that things went well and that they are having dinner Tuesday. I told him good night and that I would definitely keep him up on what was happening in my life. Finally, I have one. I check my work email to see that they are in fact implementing new security in our building. Oh wow can't wait for tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, I try to look my best because with Ana's threat level higher I am hoping Sawyer will bring her to work. When I get there all my hard work to look awesome in the white shirt black pencil skirt, pays off. Sayer is there supervising the installation of the new security check point at the front desk. I look in his eyes and feel the heat rise up through me as I blush. He smiles at me. I go to the break room to get coffee on my way to my office. As I turn, I notice that Sawyer was watching me as I walked away. Now he blushes, and oh my god it was so cute. I close my office door because I need to focus. Ana comes into my office nearly in tears. She said the reports were thick at the door. She is starting to panic.

"I don't think I can handle this," She says.

I tell her that I am sure they will move on soon. We just have to wait for some starlet to crash her car or get drunk at a party.

Ana relaxes and heads to her office. Not before she asks Claire and I to lunch at 1.

Christian must sense Ana's issues because in an hour a dozen pink roses are delivered to her. This brought our happy Ana back.

Claire, Ana and I are having lunch at 1. Ana fills us in on her 2nd proposal. It was definitely hearts and flowers for sure. She then drops the bombshell that the wedding will be in 6 weeks. Ana tells us that no she isn't pregnant.

"Wow six weeks, you must like stress." I tell her.

She tells us that it is really romantic Christian. He doesn't want to wait. He wants her to be Mrs. Christian Grey a.s.a.p.

"That is so nice," I say with a smile.

I return to my office to work on the latest request from Christian's accounting staff. Before I know it, it is 6:30. As I leave my office, I notice Ana is leaving too. We let security know that we are the last two leaving from SIP. Christian and Taylor are waiting for her outside. I waive as I head to the bus. When I get on the bus, I see a text from Sawyer.

Sawyer: Where are you?

Me: On the bus on the way home

Sawyer: Be careful

I forward the be careful to Harland. He responds that Sawyer is being so sweet.

Harland: Did you see Sawyer today? If so, what did you wear?

Me: Black pencil skirt white shirt

Harland: You go girl

Me: Thanks.

Sawyer: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Walking Max , making dinner, and reading my book how about you?

Sawyer: Hoping to leave in 30 minutes when Taylor gets back. By the way you looked amazing today.

Me: Thank you.

Me to Harland: He just text me that I looked amazing today :)

Harland: Of course you did.

I smile as I get off the bus. I am not sure what this is, but I like it.

I swear Max notices we don't take our usual path. Our usual path would take us by Sawyer's. I wonder how we have never run into him and Charlie. I don't want to seem obvious so we take a quick walk and head in. I make a quick pasta salad and pour a glass of white wine. I zone out to the music on the radio. I finish dinner and clean up. I put on my boxers and t shirt. I get my book and crawl under the covers. Max comes up and lays down beside me. My phone vibrates. I look down to see a new text from Sawyer.

Sawyer: Confession time I was hoping Charlie and I would run into you and Max.

I smile and text back: We took a quick walk because I was starving.

Sawyer: What did you eat?

Me: Pasta salad and a glass of wine what did you eat

Sawyer: Mrs. Jones, the cook at Christian's, made me Chicken Alfredo. She always makes extra for the security guys

Me: Lucky

Sawyer: She is super sweet and an awesome cook

Me: I know I have seen Ana's lunches

Sawyer: Another confession, I hope I have a reason to be at SIP tomorrow. I like seeing you.

Me: It would be nice to see you

Sawyer: I should let you sleep

Me: Yes it was a long day. Good night

Sawyer: Good night Angelica.

I fall asleep dreaming of Sawyer. I am picturing him in that tight t-shirt that I know is under that suit. We are having a picnic. He is dipping strawberries in chocolate sauce and feeding me. There is a little chocolate on my lip so he leans down to kiss it away. He gently takes me from a sitting position to laying on my back. His lips never leave mine. He is making small circles on my breast and I start to moan just as my alarm goes off. Now I am just frustrated so not fair. I feed Max, hit the shower, and take him for a walk. I am on the bus and in the office by 8. The security is a pain, but for Ana I will deal with it. I grab my coffee and head to my office. Must focus on work not Sawyer. At 1, Ana pages me to ask if I want lunch. I tell her Absolutely. We sit and talk. She tells me that she will need to start this wedding stuff soon. She says that the wedding will be at Grace's. It will be an outdoor ceremony. It will strictly be family and friends. She ask if I would come. I tell her that I would be honored. She asks if I could go dress shopping with her, Kate, and Mia. I tell her I am not exactly Ms. Fashion. She tells me I will be the voice of reason. Well twist my arm I say. When will that be? This weekend she says. Luckily my schedule is free. I feel slightly guilty because I know that if Ana has to go somewhere Sawyer probably won't get Saturday off and this way I could see him. I am a horrible friend. As we are finishing our lunch, Christian, Taylor and Sawyer come for Ana. As I am walking back from lunch I hear raised voices and see Sawyer and Taylor leaving the room. Taylor seems to be showing Sawyer something, but I can't worry about it. I have a mountain of projects for Christian. Ana comes into my office looking very upset.

"What is wrong Ana? Should I have Hannah bring you some tea?" I ask.

"Christian's helicopter was sabotaged. Now, he is insisting that Sawyer stay here at SIP in the security office all day. I am just not sure I can handle all of this."

"Do you love him?" I inquire knowing the answer as I ask the question.

"More than anything." She answers

"Then hang on to that. When the doubt creeps in, push it away with the answer I love him. Christian is just scared to lose you." I tell her.

She thanks me and walks out. I am in a panic at the idea of Sawyer here every day. I speed dial Harland.

"What is it baby?" He says. I know he must have his father in there.

"Sawyer will be in my office daily!" I shout.

"Honey, this will help you see if he is a prince or a toad by seeing him daily. Relax."

"Easy for you to say."

I hang up and look out the window. I can do this. Harland is right. Seeing him daily could fix all my issues one way or another.


	11. Chapter 11

I hang up with Harland. I wish I could just forget my feeling and fears. I wish I could be a believer. I want to be a believer. I turn my attention back to my numbers. That is the easiest thing for me to do right now. Ana stops by my office as she leaves at 6:30. She invites me to dinner with her and Christian Saturday night after dress shopping. I tell her I would love to. She says good night and heads out the door. I begin to go through my reports and before I know it it is 8:30. I hear foot steps outside the door and assume it is Henry checking on me, but it is Sawyer.

He is standing at my door with that amazing white t-shirt and dark jeans. He is carrying a bag. I look into those green eyes and once again would love to just fall right into them.

"Max called and said that he was worried that you hadn't eaten." Sawyer said with a smile.

"Oh he was was he, and what did he tell you to bring me." I ask him.

"A chopped salad from Gail. She had extra and told me to take it home. While I was on my way home, Taylor called me because Henry was having a few issues over here with the monitors. Taylor asked me to check it out."

"I see. I was hoping you came just to see me." Holy bravery Batman where did that come from.

"Well truthfully Henry told Taylor you were still here and that is why I brought the food."

"Here you are my lady." As he hands me the salad our hands touch and the calmness washes over me. I take out the salad. He thought of everything. There is a fork and napkin in here.

"You are prepared." I say.

"Yes, ma'am. I was a boyscout." He says with a grin.

I open the salad and begin to pick at the food. I put a little on my fork. It taste absolutely amazing. Wow, how lucky is Ana that this lady is going to be her cook. I find the bravery to look in his eyes. He looks at me and asks, "Why are you here so late tonight?"

"I have a lot of reports that need to be run. I am feeling a little behind."

"Who walks Max while you are here?"

"I have a teenage girl in my building. She is Max's on call babysitter. I believe she likes the quiet time in my apartment. Her mom is a little overbearing."

"Are you almost through," he asks with a shy quietness.

"almost," I say.

"I am going to go check on those monitors for Taylor. Come get me when you are ready to go home."

"I will, and thank you for the salad." I answer.

Wow, I stop for a minute and enjoy the fact that he brought me food. I stop and enjoy the welcome sight of those green eyes. I really want this. It has been so long since I have had this-any version of it. I finish his salad, and print the reports one more time. Month end and Quarter end are next week so I have to be ready. I put everything together and turn off my computer. I take a last look around and grab my stuff. When I get to the security area, he is under the desk. At first all I see are his legs, then I see the rest of him. He has his hands around some wires as I enter.

"I am ready when you are." I tell him.

"Okay, give me a minute. This is more complicated than I thought. Can you hand me the Phillips screw driver? It is the one.." He begins to say.

"I know a Philips screw driver. My mom's third husband was a mechanic so I spent a lot of time around screwdrivers and the like." I proudly answer.

"Sorry, bad habit, assuming girls don't know these things." He answers and blushes as he does.

"Where did you learn wiring," I ask?

"In the service, but I have always been a tech geek." He answers.

"I spent a lot of time taking things apart. I had a make shift work room in the barn where I would tear apart many of my mom's kitchen appliances. Let's just say my dad wasn't too pleased with me." He gives me the sweetest chuckle as he says it.

I smile at the thought of a young Sawyer tearing his Mother's toaster apart. "What kind of ranch did your family have?"

"We have a cattle ranch that has been in our family since 1863. One of my grandfather's was a pioneer who settled there. My feeling is he didn't want to be a part of the civil war and headed out west. Truthfully after what I saw, I don't blame him. When he got out here he found another war between soldiers and Indians. He sided with the Indians and that is how are ranch began." He proudly said.

"Wow that sounds incredible. My real family was supposedly cattle farmers in Ireland."

"Do you know much about them?" He asks.

"Well, I had a health scare when I was 18 so I had a boyfriend with some hacking ability and we found out where she was. She answered the medical information I needed, but didn't want me in her life. Turns out that I am still her big secret. Funny thing is she is on one of those social media sites with her family, but still wants nothing to do with me. I know so sad. I bet it couldn't even get me on Oprah with that." I try to laugh it off, but some nights when I talk about it it really actually hurts.

Sawyer stands up and takes me in his arms. His arms are so big and strong that i feel like I am being wrapped in the most amazing blanket ever. I have never told that story to anyone but Harland. I am now not sorry that I told him because he holds me for what feels like forever, but in that moment it was exactly what I needed. When he unwraps his arms, he pulls my face up by my chin, and says,"I am so sorry. I can't imagine how that hurts."

I am actually stunned into silence. I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to melt into a puddle never to leave his arms, and the other part wants to run. I just opened the door a crack. I have shown him a small part of my soul and the thought of it actually scares me. I put on my best brave face and say, "Really it isn't a big deal."

He just looks at me and I know he sees through me. I know that I am in trouble. I already feel so comfortable that I am telling him the truth. I never told any of the others this fact. This will be another discussion point with Flynn.

He finishes up his work on the monitors, and I sit there watching him work. I try not to talk because I know he is doing important work. When he finally finishes it is almost 11. I am so tired that I have actually fallen asleep sitting there. He gently picks me up and carries me to his car. Some how he has my briefcase and purse balanced on me. I wake up as he is putting me in the passenger's seat. He tells me,"Shh, I just need to check the door. I will be right back." I fall right back to sleep.

"Angelica, wake up. We have made it to your block. Which one is yours?"

"I am in building 725."

"Okay, will you be okay to walk?" he asks.

"Yes, I will. Thank you for dinner and the company." I answer

"Maybe we could do it again-Friday night or Sunday?" he inquires.

"I have no plans for Friday or Sunday." I tell him.

"How about Sunday? Maybe we could go for a hike and a picnic?" He suggests.

"That sounds perfect." I say. "Good night Sawyer."

"Good night Angelica."

I go into the house and fall asleep immediately. I dream of those warm arms around me.

Tomorrow morning comes way too early. Max is up and ready to go. God it is only Wednesday. I work to make myself look awake. I put on my black dress because it is a perfect fall back outfit. I finally get myself out the door. Tonight Harland is coming over for dinner. I have to remember to get something for our evening maybe a bottle of wine. Thursday I have my appointment with the good Dr.

When I get to work, Claire asks me if I would be up for drinks with her and a few of the people from the office. I totally say yes. That is just what I need. The day drags because I am so tired. Finally I am out the door. I get home take Max for a walk. I pick up a bottle of white wine and some chinese take out.

Harland comes through the door looking as daper as ever in his classic black suit. He always brings me flowers. This time he brought a nice lily bouquet. Max runs right to him.

"So, tell me did you have hot bathroom sex with your security guard today." He is laughing as he finishes the statement.

"Actually I didn't see him at all today." I answer and even I am confused by my answer.

"hmmm...Did you scare him off."

"No, actually last night, he brought me dinner and we talked a little. I told him about Colleen's family being farmers, and how she doesn't want contact with me even now." I wait to see his reaction.

"You told him?" The confusion is all over his face."You never talk about it." He is trying to understand.

"I can't explain it. It is either I am completely relaxed or I have a nervous condition where I can't stop talking." I try to explain this but it definitely isn't working so I do the only thing I can. I change the subject. "How is Gabriel?" Talk about Gushing. He tells me all about last night's date and how he slept over and he is so in love. Geez if I had a quarter for every time I heard that phrase I would be living in Belize selling coconuts to the tourists. I just smile because I don't believe in love and he believes in it too much.

We finish dinner. Then we take Max for a walk. I tell him that I am pretty tired from last night, so would he mind if I called it a night. He said that would be no problem because Gabriel is waiting on him. We hug good night and he is off. I change into my pjs and head to bed. I am laying there when I get a text.

Sawyer: Sorry I wasn't around today. Christian needed me at Grey House. I am cross training because when they are on the Honeymoon Taylor will be going and I will be looking over security in his absence. How was your day?

Me: Good, How was yours?

Saywer: It was okay except I missed you.

Me: Flattery will get you everywhere

Sawyer: I will make a note. Did yo work late?

Me: Nope tonight was dinner with Harland

Saywer: Should I be jealous?

Me: No I am not his type. We have been friends since Harvard.

Saywer: Okay..Hope it is okay that I might get jealous.

Me: Actually I think I liked the thought.

Sawyer: Glad to hear it, well since I kept you up late last night, I should probably let you get to sleep.

Me: Good night.

Sawyer Good night.


	12. Chapter 12

I wake up this morning very energized. It must be those dreams of Sawyer. I stretch and see that the sun is actually shining today. I get up and turn on the coffee pot. I give Max his breakfast and go to get ready. I go with my flowery dress and sandals today. I pour a cup of coffee and take Max for a walk. I am totally enjoying the beauty of the morning. I put Max in the house and refill my coffee cup. I head toward the bus stop and begin another day at work.

As I walk in I am greeted by Sawyers beautiful eyes. I smile say good morning and keep on walking. Claire catches up to me and asks how I am remaining calm with that fine man sitting there. I calmly tell her that hey we all have a job to do. I am playing this cool for both our sakes. I see Claire walk up to him and flirt. I will admit that I am jealous.

Today is filled with meetings with Grey's audit staff. The transition from SIP to Grey Publishing will be happening soon, and they just want to make sure that we are ready. At 12:30, I meet up with Anna and Claire for lunch.

Claire asks Ana, "Are you coming out with us tomorrow night?"

Ana says,"I would love to but Christian and I have plans. Next time let me know and I will try to come."

Claire tells us about her weekend plans with whoever the new guy is. I try not to get caught up in the names because the guys change biweekly. When Claire asks Ana and I what are plans are we both just say we don't really have any. Ana and I don't bring up our plans for Saturday. I feel kind of honored to be included. I certainly don't talk about hiking with Sawyer. Instead I hint that Max and I may be heading up one of the trails this weekend.

The rest of the day is filled with reporting. At 4:45, I head out the door. I say, "Good night" as I leave Henry and Sawyer. I get home and quickly feed Max and take him for a walk. Tonight I have my appointment with Dr. Flynn at 6. I get there right at 6. His door is open so I walk in.

"Good evening, Angelica. How are you?" Dr. Flynn asks as he closes the door behind me.

"I am actually good." I say.

"Really..Do explain." He counters.

"Well, Ana has invited me to Wedding dress shopping and dinner with her and Christian on Saturday night. I had a good coffee date with Sawyer on Sunday, he brought me dinner on Wednesday and we are planning to go hiking on Sunday." I answer.

"And how has your anxiety been?" He asks.

"As you would expect, but I have been using the techniques you showed me. The hardest part is that I really want this to work with Sawyer. I really want to let him in. In fact on Wednesday, I told him about my natural mother and her being on social media but not wanting me. He actually hugged me. I really loved being in his embrace." I smile as I remember the last part.

"Angelica, you can believe in people. You are not the person who walked in my office a year ago. I see great improvements in your self confidence and awareness. I believe you are in control now. You can handle letting people in. Just be confident in yourself." He instructs me.

The rest of the session is about my anxiety over dress shopping and hanging with other girls. I tell him stories of high school and the girls being mean to me and excluding me. He tells me that Ana invited me so she must want me here. I also said that I am nervous to dine with her and Christian. He tells me to be myself and the rest will work itself out. I make my appointment for next week and head out the door. It is a beautiful Seattle evening, and the walk home feels nice.

I get home and take Max for another walk. I reheat leftovers from last night for dinner and settle down in front of the tv. Some reality show is on but I am not really watching it. I look at the clock to see that it is 8. Sawyer has to be off work now, so I work up the courage to text first.

Me: Hey, how was your day?

Sawyer: Good. I was glad to see you leaving early.

Me: I had an appointment to go to.

Sawyer: I am looking forward to this weekend. Never thought I would be excited about hanging out at a Bridal Salon, but since I will be seeing you, it will be good. Sunday the weather is looking perfect for our hike.

Me: Funny I wasn't really looking forward to Saturday, but now I am.

Sawyer: What watching Ana try on wedding dresses doesn't sound amazing.

Me: Uh not really plus her friend Kate and Mia are a little out of my blood line.

Sawyer: Mia is so not like the typical rich Seattle girls.

Me: I know but I am still nervous.

Sawyer: You will be fine. Besides which I will be right there :)

Me: Best part :) What would you like me to pack for our picnic lunch on Sunday?

Sawyer: Leave that all to me

Me: Really?

Sawyer: Yes, Are you assuming because I am a guy I don't know how to cook?

Me: No surely I wouldn't do that just like you wouldn't assume I don't know what a Philips screwdriver is.

Sawyer: Ah yes.

Me: I make amazing chocolate chip cookies or so I have been told so I will bring those ;)

Sawyer: Oh now how did you know chocolate chip cookies are my favorite. I would love to try yours.

Me: Good, I will bring some. So it looks like Claire would like to get to know you.

Sawyer: Oh geez she is at the security desk every hour. It is kind of annoying.

I smile at that part. Yes, I set him up, and of course, he passed the test.

Me: When they are on their honeymoon, you don't have to go too?

Sawyer: No, Taylor is handling it alone. He will get help abroad from people that we know. He would rather have me here covering Escala and Grey House. I am actually honored that he thinks so highly of me and that Mr. Grey has agreed. Disappointed that I won't be gone?

Ah, so now he is setting me up.

Me: Well I was looking for a break from having you at SIP, but I guess I will manage lol.

Sawyer: Hmmm

Me: No I am actually glad you will be around.

Sawyer: That is good. What are you doing tomorrow night?

Me: drinks with people from work. do you want to come? I mean you do work there sort of.

Sawyer: If Taylor doesn't need me to ride back to Mr. Grey's penthouse, I may join you all. I want to get to know Claire ;)

Me: She will be there lol

Sawyer: Good to know.

Me: Okay I hate to go but I need to get my beauty sleep.

Sawyer: Well really you don't but I will let you go. Good night.

Me: Good night

I smile to myself. Yea, I hope he does come tomorrow night. It would be nice to have a chance to see him again. I stretch out on the bed and Max crawls up next to me. I turn off the light and dream of Sawyer yet again.


	13. Chapter 13

Just want to Thank all the reviewers. You have all been so kind. I really appreciate it. Again I am just borrowing these characters they are from the brilliant mind of EL James. They all belong to her except Angelica she is all mine.

* * *

Friday goes by so quickly. I barely feel like I get anything done before Claire is calling me that it is 5 o'clock. I start to close down all the things I was working on. Ana stops in to tell me 11:00 tomorrow that she will be by to pick me up. She tells me that we are going to have tea first at this place that Kate and her mom love. I tell her that I am looking forward to it. Tea really seriously. Oh geez I am definitely in over my head. I can do this I tell myself. They will like me.

As I make my way to the reception area, I see Claire looks like a little dog all excited to go to the dog park. She is jumping up and down. She runs toward me and tells me hotty security guy is changing so he can join us. She invited him this morning, and he is going to join us. I smile, and say to her Oh great. Jeremy and the other guys from Accounting join us in the lobby. Elizabeth from HR comes down looking really frustrated. She asks us if Ana is coming and we say no. Sawyer comes into the lobby wearing these amazing jeans and this black shirt. I am pretty sure if you look closely you would have actually seen me drool. We make our way as a group to the bar down the street. It is the same one we went to on Ana's first Friday night. I swear as I walk in I see a guy who really resembles Hyde, but as I look back, he is gone. I shake my head feeling like I am getting paranoid.

A few minutes after we arrive, Elizabeth appears to be nervously looking around. She asks us for a second time if Ana is coming. We tell her again no, and she seems like she is ready to cry. She quickly leaves and doesn't come back. I look at Claire with complete confusion. I shake it off and head toward the bar where Sawyer is now standing.

"So, Claire is over there." I say with a smirk.

"I see that," Sawyer answers, "I was working up the courage to ask her out."

"Well please don't let my presence interrupt your concentration," as I say this I am holding my wine glass to my face to hide my smile.

"If it is okay, I will talk to you for a little while until I am ready." He gives me a million dollar smile as he says it.

"I guess but time is a wasting." I state.

"Thanks for the pep talk Coach," He answers.

Claire spots us talking and comes over. "Wanna join me at my table?" Claire asks.

"Absolutely." I say as a good wing man should.

Sawyer just follows us. We are sitting at a table with my accounting friends, Claire, Terry, and Fanny. Terry and Fanny are from Customer service. They are a lot of fun to hang out with. Everyone is talking about their plans for the weekend. When the conversation turns to Sawyer for his weekend plans, he coolly says that he has to work. I tell them that I am going hiking with Max. As I mention Max, I look at my phone to realize it is almost 6:30. I am going to have to call it a night for Max's sake. I tell everyone good night. I make a quick stop at the bathroom and then head out the door. As I get to the corner, I hear my name called. I turn and it is Sawyer. I wish I could hide the cheesy grin, but I can't.

I try to recover with, "Hey aren't you going to wait for Claire?"

Sawyer answers, "Oh, Dang I have to get home to Charlie. Would you like a ride? I know you love the bus, but I thought maybe."

"Actually I would love it." I reply.

"Good, my car is over here." He points toward the parking garage. ''Your coworkers are a lot of fun" He continues.

"Yes they are. I am really lucky to work there." I tell him.

As we drive home, I have an internal debate. Do I invite him up or not. I usually don't like to introduce men to Max. I feel like it is too hard on him, but I really don't want this night to end. I am also nervous to be turned down. I take a deep breathe and say,"I know you probably really do have to get home to Charlie, but you are welcome to come up for a night cap."

I see something flash in his eyes and my self confidence goes out the window. I begin to back track,"Seriously don't worry about it if you can't..."

"Angelica," Sawyer says,"I would love to but I really do have to take Charlie for a walk. This is going to sound crazy, but I don't like to introduce her to girls until I know that it is serious. I just think it is hard on her."

"Charlie is a gir?" I ask?

"Yes, she is my girl. Hope you're not jealous." He explains with a smile.

"No I totally understand." I reply. I can't believe he feels the same way I do about introducing his dog to new people. Wow, I feel so connected to him.

As he pulls up to my apartment, I look over at him. He takes my hand in his and still the calmness washes over me. He kisses my knuckles again, and says,"til tomorrow."

"Til tomorrow," I answer.

I watch him drive away and again feel like I float home. I feed Max and check to see if I have what I need to make Chocolate chip cookies. When Max is done, we go for our walk. I need to stop at the corner store for eggs on the way home. We take a pretty long walk. I need to wear off some of the Sawyer dream state. I tie Max up and head into the store. I pick up some eggs, and head out the door. Max is waiting for me, and we are on our way home.

When I get back from the store, I realize I so don't have the energy to bake cookies. I think I will save that for tomorrow morning or night depending on how things go. I grab a glass of water and head into my room. I put down my phone next to the night stand and get ready for bed. I suddenly realize how old I must seem its Friday night and I am settling in for bed at 9. I decide to watch my one of my favorite movies Bed of Roses. Max gets up on the bed next to me and I press play. As I watch the movie, my phone alerts me to a text message.

Sawyer: I had fun tonight even if it wasn't just us. It was nice to see you relax.

Me: It was nice to relax with you.

Sawyer: What are you doing?

Me: Watching Bed of Roses with Max. What about you?

Sawyer: Watching NCIS reruns with Charlie. Bed of Roses never seen it whose in it?

Me: Christian Slater and Mary Stuart Masterson

Sawyer: huh might have to check that one out. Do you like NCIS?

Me: Love it. It is my favorite show.

Sawyer: Seriously?

Me: Absolutely. Been watching it for a while

Sawyer: Cool, I love it too.

I press pause because I realize I can't watch and text.

Me: Was Charlie mad you were late?

Sawyer: She was okay because it was really regular time for us. How was Max?

Me: He was fine.

Sawyer: Did you go for a long walk?

Me: Actually yes. How about you too?

Sawyer: Yes. Have you changed your walking route since we have been talking?

Me: Yes, we used to walk that way, but now we walk in the opposite way. How have we never ran into each other before?

Sawyer: We must have just been on different schedules something I think we should change our schedule to match. maybe?

Me: Yes maybe.

Sawyer: So dress shopping tomorrow?

Me: Yes, truthfully I am so nervous. I have never had girlfriends to hang out with and when I did hang out with groups of girls it was like a bad Mean girls movie. So even though I am hopeful, I am thinking it will be like they tell me to try on a size 4 dress to laugh at me.

Sawyer: Ana isn't like that and from what I can tell neither is Mia. I haven't spent enough time with Kate to say.

Me: I know. This is my own high school/college issues. I am sure it is going to be tons of fun. I really like Ana. She is so sweet. I am supposed to have dinner with her and Christian after. Will you still be there, or will you be home by then?

Sawyer: I could work with Taylor on stuff and when it is done, drive you home if you would like?

Me: Would that be strange for you?

Sawyer: Are you crazy, I spend many a Saturday night hanging with Gail and Taylor. She is such an amazing cook, and Taylor and I are like brothers. We watch a movie while Gail does her word finds or sewing. Taylor won't think anything of it except I will have to cover on why I am leaving when you are leaving. Although knowing Christian, he will want one of us to drive you knowing you take the bus.

Me: Well, I would like that very much.

Sawyer: Then plan on me bringing you home.

Me: Great. Thank you.

Sawyer: It will be my pleasure.

Me: Well, I need to get some sleep-sorry to be a party pooper.

Sawyer: I wanted to go running before reporting to Ana so sleep is the right thing to do.

Me: Good night Sawyer

Sawyer: Good night.

I turn off the tv and dvd. I settle into bed. I am so comforted from talking to Sawyer. I can't believe I shared with him my fear of being with the girls tomorrow. My mother always told me to never tell anyone anything because they will use it against me. I am really hoping she was wrong. Sawyer doesn't seem like the type, but maybe I am being blinded by his charming personality and looks. I guess that same fear of people is what keeps me afraid of Ana. It isn't that she has done anything to make me not trust her, but unfortunately, I hear my mother's voice. Don't trust anyone dear. They are all after you. They will take you down if you trust them. I shake my head and hear Dr. Flynn's voice instead. It is okay to trust Angelica. There are good people out there. I close my eyes and see Bar Harbor, Maine. Instead of my usual dream with Harlan and Max, I see Sawyer. He and I are climbing Acadia Mountain. Max is happily running ahead on the trail. As we get to the top, Sawyer leans in to kiss me. There we are on top of the world and we are kissing. We have conquered this mountain and in that moment, I feel like we can accomplish anything. I hope that it is a view into how awesome Sunday will be for us when we go hiking. One can only hope. With that, I fall into a deep sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Unfortunately though before morning, my dreams remind me of my real life. I am back in Harvard yard at a dorm mixer. Candy, Lea, Mel, and Chris are there. I thought they were my friend, but unfortunately, I trusted them and on one of those low nights I got really drunk. Thanks to my so called friends, I was the laughing stock of the dorm. Then they all decided they were going to Cancun for Spring Break. They invited me, but I had to turn them down. I told them I couldn't go because I couldn't make the travel schedule, but really I couldn't afford it. Once that happened they started having parties without me and telling me they were just planning the trip and didn't think I would want to be there. Well my feelings were crushed only to further help with my isolated feelings. I am reminded of this in my dreams. My fears of rejection come back like a wave crashing on the beach. Those girls were like all the others. They pretended to be my friends and at the first test of real friendship, they broke my heart like all the others.

I wake up in a cold sweat. I know that Ana is not like them. I know that she is a real nice person. I have heard only good things about Mia and Kate to so I should just relax. I can't though. I decide that a run is the right way to put the pressure at ease. I take off with Max at a good clip. I am trying to force the doubt away. I keep telling myself all of Flynn's phrases. This is my past damages. I can't let this dictate my future. The person who let herself be victimized is gone. I am not that person anymore. I can do it. I can make healthy relationships a part of my future.

When I get back from my run, I give Max his breakfast and go for a shower. I dress in a cute camisole shirt and matching sweater. I put on my dark jeans and tie my hair in a pony tail. It is almost 9. I realize I have time to do a load of laundry and head to the laundry room. I run into sweet Mrs. O'Riley. She is bringing her groceries up the stairs. I run to help her. She is like the mother I never had. She smiles the minute she sees me.

"Oh, dear," She says. "How are you?"

"I am good." I say, "I have even been seeing someone sort of."

The look of shock on her face is almost the exact match of Flynn's.

"Can you join me for a cup of tea. I am sure that Mr. O'Riley would love to hear about him as well." She answers.

"I will stop by after I get this load in the washer." I say as I head to the laundry room

"Oh good. I will get the kettle going." She answers.

I start my load of towels and sheets. Once I get it going, I turn to go back to the O'Rileys. I have 45 minutes. I lightly tap on her door. She answers immediately. There sitting at the table is Mr. O'Riley. He is the father I never really had.

I fill them in about the weeks I have had. I take out names and places to protect my nda. I tell them how I met Sawyer and the sort of dates that we have had. They both say that they must meet him if I plan on getting serious. She will have us over for a proper Irish Dinner. I laugh. They are both so sweet to worry about me. They tell me all about their three sons and one daughter. She is the most protected girl in America. The three Irish boys protect their sister at all cost. I usually have Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas dinner with them. The first year I moved in when they found out I was all alone on the holiday, they instantly invited me. I tried to say no, but there was no saying no. So I am the newest child in their family. It was strange at first, but now I actually look forward to it. I leave to change my clothes from the washer to the dryer. I tell them thank you for the tea, but I have to go. I have to take Max for a walk before I leave for my dress adventure. When Max and I get back, the clothes are done. I take them out and fold them. I will put them away later. I look out the window and soon the SUV is outside. I see him step out and wait beside the car like this is any other pick up.

I take a deep breathe and head out the door. When I get down there, he is all business outside the SUV. My heart sinks a little, but I remind myself that he has a job to do. As I slide in, there is Ana. She tells me that Kate and Mia will meet us there. She tells me how Kate is dating Christian's brother and how Mia is sort of seeing Kate's brother Ethan. I smile and think wow it sounds kind of funny. We head to our tea first. It is a cozy little restaurant. The place is every bit the place you would think of when you say a tea. Mia comes flying from the table. First she hugs Ana, and then she hugs me. In that embrace, I feel the same love I feel when her parents hug me. The feeling is so nice. Kate is much more refined, but still very nice. I can tell that she is guarded. I am sure that some think she is a snob, but I am sure she is just protecting herself and Ana. Kate's love for Ana is so real and protective. I feel her checking me out to make sure I am worthy of her friend. I understand this behavior and actually I admire it. I wish I had friends like this.

We have a really great tea. We actually are able to break down walls and have amazing conversations. We talked about guys, clothes, and jobs. I am so glad I came. Kate lets us know that her mom wants to have her designers make Ana's dress. She tells us that our job today is to find the style and color that looks best on Ana. Kate's mom will then take care of the rest. Her mom is hoping to join us at the end. We go to the bridal salon at Niemen Marcus and Caroline, Christian's personal shopper, is there to assist us. She starts pulling dresses and to be honest each on is more beautiful then the one before it. As Ana predicted I was the voice of reason. I would tell her when I felt it was too much or not enough. Mia was always way more over the top every one was beautiful or awesome. Kate was a little more refined as you imagined. She seemed to agree with Mia more than I thought she would. It seemed as though she was trying to befriend her. I really was the middle view. My favorite part was knowing that poor Sawyer was stuck witnessing this whole event. Then I had a moment of shyness. I realized that he was getting a glimpse of me relaxing with the girls. Mia and Kate tried on Bridesmaids dresses. As we were finishing up, Kate's mom and Grace stopped by. We showed them our top three dresses for Ana and our top three Bridesmaid dresses. Grace's eyes filled with tears at the sight of Ana in a bridal gown. Kate's mom took pictures of the three. You could see the wheels turning and I was excited to see what she came up with. We bid the ladies good bye and now the real challenge begins. Sawyer takes us back to the car. As I got into the car, he switched his hands so his hand touched my shoulder. The feeling excited me. He drove us straight to Escala.

It was about 4:30 when we got there. We walked in and Ana went straight to the kitchen to start dinner heating up. She grabbed us two glasses of wine, and gave me a quick tour. The place was amazing. She found a place for us to sit near the fireplace. Christian was in his study, so she didn't want to talk about the dresses. She wanted him to be completely in the dark. She told me about growing up with her step father. She told me that Ray was an amazing guy. She told me about how Jose's dad and Ray were Army buddies which just made their friendship magical. She told me about meeting Kate on the first day of WSU. They weren't roommates but lived across the hall from each other. Ana said that she was so overwhelmed by being away from Ray, but Kate took care of her and got her out of her shell. Kate helped her adjust to college life. Kate hated dorm life, and by second semester of freshman year, her dad had talked the dean into an off campus apartment for Ana and Kate which was a no no for freshman. She moved in with Kate and the rest was history. The house began to smell so good. Christian stuck his head out of his study and asked how long. Ana told him about another 15 minutes.

"Why are you at all the Grey's functions?" Ana asked.

"Harlan, my best friend, well, his father is partners with Carrick. We met at orientation freshman year. He asked me to borrow a pencil. About a week later, he returned it and we started talking over coffee. He became my first best friend. He has always been there for me." I tell her.

"Are you dating?" Ana ask.

"No, he isn't really my type and I am not his." I tell her. Although Harlan is out. It isn't something he likes advertised. She seems confused and I don't help her.

"I didn't make dinner." She tells me, "Mrs. Jones did. I am just reheating. It will be good. Trust me." She says.

I help her set the table and prepare for the next event. I am not sure how this will go with Christian. I decide to go with the don't speak unless spoken to. Ana goes to his study to call him to dinner. I hear a little PDA and instantly blush.

"Good evening Angelica." He says in his silky voice.

"Good evening." I answer.

He continues with, "Did you enjoy shopping?"

"Yes, I did." I say.

"Did you find a dress?" He asks

"We found many nice dresses." I respond.

Ana brings dinner to the table. It is a chicken alfredo, and it looks amazing. Ana refills our wine glasses and fills a glass for Christian. We each fill our plates. I am careful not to take too much. Christian asks how I like work. I tell him that I like it very well. He asks where I live. I tell him. He asks how I plan on getting home this evening. I tell him walk or take a cab. He calls to Taylor.

"Taylor, please arrange for someone to take Ms. Miller home this evening." He says.

Wow, I think Sawyer called that one. I try not to smile.

"Where did you live before Harvard?" Christian asks.

Again I feel like he knows the answer, but I answer just the same. "I lived in a small town in Mississippi."

"Mississippi, wow that must have been interesting." He says.

Obviously, Christian has never been to small town in Mississippi. "It was a place where you didn't have privacy. Every one knew every one and every one was related. We moved there for my step father's job. He was working for a biotech company at the time. They had a manufacturing plant and he was to over see it." I tell him.

"How long did you live there?" He asks.

"For 5 years." I respond. "It was pretty but hard to be that perfect."

"Perfect?" He ask

"Yes you couldn't go to the grocery store except looking your best. Everyone was in your business so you tried to always look perfect."

"I see." He says.

I am so relieved he stayed away from the heavy topics. Instead he began to ask me about Harvard, and we compared notes. He told me that he didn't feel challenged there. He felt like he couldn't expand there. He told me that he liked the town and traveling around the area, but that was about all. I told him that I loved the area. It was so beautiful. We spoke briefly on the subject of Harlan. I knew not to expand. We finished up dinner and Christian headed back to his study. Ana and I cleaned the table. I helped her with dishes. We were both pretty tired. So I told her I was ready to go. Christian called to Taylor again, and Sawyer appeared. I saw the confused look on Christian's face, but he seemed to role with it.

"Thank you for a lovely evening." I told them.

"You are welcome." Ana and Christian said together.

Sawyer escorted me out the door. We kept our business side until we were in the elevator. I giggled at the fact that his shoulders actually relaxed. We got off the elevator. We headed to the SUV. He smiled as I got in the car. He put on his seat belt and took my hand. He kissed my knuckles again telling me how nice it was to see me again. I told him that I felt the same. He drove me back to my apartment and kept his hands intertwined with mine the whole way. When we got to my apartment, he opened my door. Our eyes met in the moonlight. He bent down and kissed my lips. He lingered just long enough.

"I will see you tomorrow." He said.

"See you tomorrow." I said.

I swear I floated to my door again. He watched me all the way. I turned and asked one final question. "What time tomorrow?"

"11:30?" He asked.

"Perfect." I say.

And with that I went inside. It was a really great day.


	15. Chapter 15

I woke up to the sun peeking into the window. Max's nose next to me. Then I heard an alert from my phone.

Sawyer: I was thinking we could do Wallace Falls today in May Creek. If you are game, we might want to leave at 11.

Me: Okay. I have heard good things about that hike.

Sawyer: Okay see you then.

I get up and look at the clock. It is 8. I have enough time to feed Max, take him for a walk, get ready, and make the chocolate chip cookies I promised for our picnic. Surprisingly, I get it all done by 10:45. I am sitting looking out the window with my coffee cup. I have my hiking boots on, my water bottle beside me, and my pack with all the essentials. The chocolate chip cookies are in a container. I realize in that moment that I don't even know what his vehicle looks like. There is still so much to learn. The thought both frightens and excites me. I see a blue Jeep Wrangler pull up in front of the building, and I instantly know it is him. I take one more look at Max who seems to be feeling betrayed. He loves going for hikes. We haven't gone for one in a few months. I grab my bandana and head for the door.

"You look great." Sawyer tells me as I come up to his jeep.

"Thanks, love the ride," I say.

"This old thing," He says with a smirk.

He helps me into the Jeep. He has the top off, and I am so glad I french braided my hair. He comes around and starts the car. The music on the radio is country, so fitting for the country boy. I knew he wasn't the news radio type. I like country music. It is comforting. It reminds me of the good times down south. He looks over at me and smiles.

"Have you ever done Wallace?" He asks.

"No, I have wanted to try it." I answer

"Good, I have heard that this path has a place for picnics." He says.

"I am excited to try it." I smile at him as I say it.

"It is about 35 miles away, but I figured it was a nice day. It is a moderate hike about 4.7 miles in. We can take it slow and stop at any point. The whole hike would be 9 miles." He tells me.

"I usually do about 6 miles." I proudly tell him.

"Wow that is pretty good. Charlie was a little miffed when she saw me grab my hiking gear." He responds.

"Max was the same way." I reply.

We ride along with the wind in our faces. The radio a distant sound just under the blowing wind. It is really beautiful. I notice that he looks over at me. I smile at him, but I am sure he can see that I am blushing. We park the Jeep. He packs up the lunch in our packs. I stretch one last time. We head toward the path. The calmness is there. I feel as though no words need to be said. I like this feeling. I feel strange like being me is enough. This path is so beautiful. We head on the right fork which is more wooded. We are following the river. We head to the first viewpoint which is an old shelter. It is a perfect spot for our picnic. He has brought a spread of turkey and ham wraps. He has blue corn chips, carrot, celery sticks, and cherry tomatos. He brought trail mix, and it all goes well with my cookies. He spreads it all out. I take my water bottle from my sack. He glides his hand against mine and the thrill still infects my soul. We sit down and begin to eat.

"How did you know that Christian would want you to take me home last night?" I ask.

"He is very protective of the people in his life." He replies.

"I am not in his life." I say.

"You are through Ana." He responds.

"Hmm..I didn't realize that would count." I inquire.

"It does. I have seen him strip someone with just his words, but he can be unbelievable kind." The admiration in Sawyer's voice takes me by surprise. He must be an amazing man. This wasn't forced admiration but this was earned admiration.

"I guess I should be honored." I say.

"Did you know him at Harvard?" He asks.

"From a far. He and Harlan knew each other and therefore I knew of him. He wasn't there long. Anytime I saw him, he seemed lost. He seemed like whatever he needed to focus him was gone. He had a vacant look about him. It was strange. I always wondered what he was missing." I answer and as I do I remember him wandering campus. I would sit on park benches feeling the way he looked, and I think that is why he caught my eye. I think it was watching a man as beautiful as him seem so lost and alone. Once I read his background years later, I felt I could understand his look.

Sawyer catches my faraway look and inquires as to what I am thinking. I just tell him that I was remembering Christian at Harvard. I tell him that for me it was like Alice in Wonderland or Dorothy in OZ. I was there and academically I belonged maybe, but socially it was hard. It at times was very overwhelming. I made it through.

"War is like that too. You know what you are doing is necessary, but you feel lost and scared a lot." He says quietly. Suddenly I see a deep sadness in his eyes. A pain that I am not sure could ever be quieted. I want to rush to his side and hold him. I want the power to take it away.

"How many tours?" I ask not sure if I want the answer.

"Enough." He answers. And I see the doors close.

I have to change the subject and fast. "Have you always liked to hike?" I ask. Oh geez, I want to hit my head against my hand.

He laughs, and I believe he knows what I am trying to do. "Yes, I have. Now let me try one of these cookies." He says with a smile.

"Hope you like them. This lunch was amazing." I tell him.

"Your cookies are amazing." Sawyer says.

"Glad you like them."

We clean up our mess, and head back up the trail. We head to the next view point. As we look at, he takes my hand. We head up to the next spot which is another half mile up the trail. When we find the last view point, we decide to rest and take it in. The evergreen trees are thick all around us. The falls are so beautiful. I take out my phone and text a picture to Harlan. I tell him I am up here with Sawyer and not to worry. We start down the trail as it is getting late.

"We will have to bring the dogs some time." He says.

"Absolutely. Max would love it." as I affirm his statement. He smiles and kisses my hand.

It was such a great hike, and I feel so tired and energized at the same time. We get back to the Jeep. He opens the door for me and as I go to get in, he kisses me in a deep kiss. I open my mouth just a little. The kiss seems to last and time seems to slow. As his lips leave mine, he tells me thanks for a great hike. He gets in and we both put on our seat belts. He starts the Jeep. We head down the road. The ride back is quiet and my thoughts keep going back to the random war comment and the sad look in his eyes. I am haunted by it. He takes my hand and kisses it. As we get back to Seattle, I am overwhelmed by the sense that I really don't want to leave him. I want to take him upstairs and wrap him in my arms.

He pulls up in front of my building and jumps out. He comes to my door and opens it. I could get used to this type of chivalry. I am making a move. I turn to him by the door of the Jeep. I reach my arms around him. I am shocked that they barely fit. I tilt my head up and kiss him. I kiss him just as deeply as he kissed me. I realize that I can take this one of two ways. I can throw caution to the wind and take him upstairs which is what I want to do, or I can be me and just go inside.

"Would you like to come inside?" I ask when our lips finally part.

"More than you know, but I have to go take Charlie for a walk." He answers.

"Dogs great company but so much work." I tell him. I thank my stars because I know I shouldn't move fast. That is always my downfall.

"How about dinner Tuesday night?" He asks.

"I would like that." I say.

"I know this great little Italian place." Sawyer tells me.

"I love Italian." I say with a little too much enthusiasm.

"Tuesday it is. Good night Angelica." Sawyer reaches for me again for one last kiss. As he pulls me close into his arms, I can feel his excitement which just further enhances mine.

"Good night Sawyer." And with that I head toward the door. I turn to look at him. He is still by my door watching me walk away. I smile and wave. I go inside and put my stuff down. I grab a glass of water, and grab Max's leash. We head out for our walk. I text Harlan to tell him that we had another good date. I ask him how his love life is going. He tells me that everything is a okay and he is glad that mine it too. For the first time in a long time I feel really good. Confident even that I am on the right path.

The next two weeks are filled with work and a few romantic dates with Sawyer. He seems really content to take it slow, and I am thankful for that. Sawyer has been really busy learning the duties he will be taking over for Taylor since Taylor will be going on the honeymoon. Sawyer has kept me out of the honeymoon details. He keeps telling me that Christian absolutely wants Ana surprised. This weekend, I was invited to Ana and Christian's bachelor/bachelorette evening. I am kind of looking forward to a night out with the girls. Sawyer will be watching. We aren't officially a couple. We are just seeing each other. There has been no formal statements about our relationship, so I am going to have a good time.


	16. Chapter 16

AN: I hope that you like the direction this chapter goes. It goes a little adult so hopefully everyone is okay with this chapter. Thank you for all your kind reviews. Thank you for the follows and the favs as well. You have really warmed my heart by your love of my little story.

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The week seems to drag. I am sure it is because I am excited about Saturday night. Ana has told me all about the plans, and it sounds like a lot of fun. Finally Saturday gets here. We are all meeting at Escala to get ready. Ethan, Elliot, Jose, and Christian are in the library playing pool. I assume Sawyer, Taylor, and the other security guys are coming up with the plan for this evening. They have rented a limo to have all of us together. Ana, Claire, Kate, Mia, and I are upstairs getting ready. Mia is doing my hair and make up. She tells me that she is going to help me land a man. I laugh if she only knew. She also picks out an amazing black dress and heels for me to wear. My hair is curled, and my make up is stunning. As we descend the stairs the guys are all downstairs watching including Taylor and Sawyer. I have to laugh because I see the look of just utter shock on Sawyer's face.

Our first stop is Christian's restaurant for an amazing dinner. The conversation is light and everyone is having a blast. The next stop is of course one of Christian's clubs. We will be hitting a few of them this evening. I tried to offer money toward the evening, but Christian looked at me like I was crazy. I have to admit, I know why, but my mother taught me to always offer my share. The girls are all drinking Sexy Devils, so I say what the heck. The first one is very smooth. We hit the dance floor. The music is awesome. More than one guy comes up to dance against me. The girls are all laughing, and we are having fun. Christian keeps a close eye on Ana. Elliot, Ethan, and Jose are out with us. The energy is fun. I catch Sawyer's eye, and I swear he looks a little upset. Surely, I am mistaken. I am on my second Sexy Devil and after the drinks with dinner, I am getting a nice buzz. I am on the dance floor with everyone. Christian is out there dancing with Ana, Kate and Elliot, Ethan and Mia. Jose is by the bar watching Ana I am pretty sure. Which I find strange but he is covering by talking to a brunette whose legs just don't stop. I am dancing and a friend of Mia's is dancing next to me. I zone into a world where I enjoy the feeling but wish it was Sawyer. I am brought back to reality by the sound of a glass breaking. As I turn toward the sound, I see Taylor having a stern talk with Sawyer. Christian begins to walk toward Taylor, but he waves him off. Christian and Ana go back to our booth, but Mia, Claire, Kate and I still dance. Ana comes up to us and says that Christian would like a change of venue so we head to his other club. As we get back into the limo, Sawyer shoots me a look that sends ice up my spine. I realize that maybe dancing with other men is affecting him. We go to the other club, and as much as I try to stay away, guys keep coming up to us. I have a third Sexy Devil. The buzz is feeling so cool. It isn't enough to make me do anything stupid, but it is enough to make me relax a little more. The girls and I are having so much fun. We dance and hang out for a few more hours and then we head back. Mia, Kate, and Elliot get dropped off at Kate's place. Then I get dropped off at my place. I go in and take Max for a walk. When we get back, I take a shower to get the smell of smoke off my hair. I am just settling down for bed when I hear loud knocks on my door. I go to answer it. It is Sawyer. He pushes his way into my apartment. He grabs me in an embrace that almost takes the air out of my lungs. Max begins to growl, but I settle him down. I tell him he is okay. Sawyer gives him his hand to smell, and he instantly goes to a position where he can keep an eye on this man who is in our home. Sawyer moves me to a position where he can look into my eyes. He begins to speak.

"I tried to stay guarded and emotionally away from you." He begins, "But after tonight and watching you, it nearly killed me. I nearly killed every guy who came within a centimeter of you. Taylor had to calm me. He reminded me what was at stake, but at that moment, I didn't care. I just didn't know what to do. I think I am falling for you and after all I have seen and all that I have done I thought I was through that. I thought I was immune to needing someone. The days we have been together have been the best of the last few years. Seeing you every day and texting you, it is the most incredible feeling. The fact that a calmness rushes through me every time I touch your hand. I don't want to need you. I don't want to let you in. I am afraid of loosing anyone else, but tonight seeing you with someone else made me realize that I don't want to loose the chance to spend time with you. I don't want some other guy to come in here and wisk you away from me."

The honesty shocks me. It is raw. He is actually shaking like he can't control his emotions in this moment. The Sexy Devils have weaken all of my defense mechanisms. I move toward him and begin to kiss his neck. He brings down his face toward me. I begin to kiss his jawbone and he responds. We are pawing at each other with a raw intensity. The need we are both feeling takes over and I feel him growing against my leg. He drops me onto the couch and we continue to grope each other. I don't even know what words to say. In that moment, I don't want to say anything, but words like yes and please never leave me are running through my brain. Words that in the past have spelled disasters for me. Thankfully, I say nothing. I feel my breathe get shallow, and my need continuing to override the rational thought. Our mouths are over each other, and our tongues are having a power struggle. They are doing a tango where neither wants to yield so it is a curious battle instead of a fluid dance. My hands are on his chest and he flinches as I touch near his shoulder. My rational brain takes over and tells me I need to stop this. Tomorrow I may regret this, but now the hormones are in full control. I go for the button on his pants. His hands are traveling up the inside of my shirt. He has made it to my bra where his hards are circling my breasts. The heat between my legs is continuing to blur my brain. I finish unzipping his pants and begin to bring his pants down. I am working the pants legs down and his pants are near his knees. He has hiked my nightgown to where my thong and his boxers are the only thing keeping us separated. He still has one hand on my breast but the other has travelled to my thong. His hand has made its way through the material and now I am a goner. I know I couldn't stop this if I wanted to. I whisper to him does he has protection. Suddenly, he stops. He shakes his head as though he is clearing his head.

"NO..," he says, "Not like this. I don't want this to be our first time."

Confusion takes over, and I am not sure what to think. So I ask, "What do you mean?"

"You are special to me, and I don't want a night of emotions to be our first night. I would however like to continue this though." He looks into my eyes as he says this.

We continue to make out. I decide that I need to taste him. I move down him. I spring him from his boxers and bring him into my mouth. I continue to work on him. I take him deep inside. He moans as he takes my hair in his hands. He does the shocking thing and finishes in the tissues I have near the couch. His fingers make their way down my legs and part my legs. He inserts two fingers inside and his fingers move up and down. As they do, my hands work up and down the couch with my back rising and falling. I am trying to get away from their assault. I am trying to hide from the release because it has been years since a man has taken me here. I know that when I get here it will be epic and I will wake the complex. I want to stop him, but I can't he has me right there. He puts his lips on my nipples and that is the end the combination brings we over the top. I collapse onto the couch and he collapses on me. We lay there for what feels like forever. I ask him to take a shower with me. He agrees.

In the shower, we begin again. It is sensual. He takes a wash clothe and begins to wash me. He begins with my shoulders, then slides down my back. He comes over my shoulders and washes each breast. He washes my stomach. He washes each leg. Then he takes the clothe between my legs. My breathe is so short I am actually worried I could pass out. I slide against the wall of the shower to hold myself up. His lips find mine and the fury begins again. I take the wash cloth and exchange the favor. I wash his shoulders his back and his stomach. I go down one leg and back up the next. I take the wash clothe and go back and forth on his new growing excitement. His fingers slide into me and I drop the wash cloth. I begin to stroke him with the same energy that he is stroking me. We come together and collapse onto each other. We finish washing off. I lead him into my bed. I lay my head against his chest and his arm comes over my shoulder. I fall asleep to the sound of his breathing.

A few hours later I wake up confused and hot. I feel this massive weight on me. I open my eyes to find Sawyer wrapped around me. I suddenly realize that it wasn't a dream. That I have had two releases with this man. I love the feeling of his arms around me. I am sure I have never felt this safe. I let myself enjoy the feeling and not worry about what will come in a few hours when we wake up. I fall back to sleep and dream of us together and happy.


	17. Chapter 17

I wake up to Max's nose against my nose. As I roll over, I find the other side of the bed empty. I am left with the feeling like last night was a dream, but my naked body under the covers lets me know it wasn't. The smell on that side of the bed is all Sawyer. It is a mix of musky woods and leather. The smell rolls through my nose, and reminds me of all the things we did last night. I blush with shock at all that I did with him. The accountant in me is absolutely appalled, but the rest of me is more than happy. The cobwebs have come off the female parts, and I am amazed at how alive I feel this morning. The little doubt voice begins to ask why did he leave? Where did he go? Will he be back? I take another long whiff of that side of the bed, and turn to look at my phone. I have a four new text messages.

Sawyer: Had to walk Charlie

Sawyer: It was so hard to leave your bed

Sawyer: You are beautiful as ever in the morning

Sawyer: Have lunch with me

Sawyer's last message came in half an hour ago. It is now 10. I look at Max with confusion. How did you let me sleep this long? I text Sawyer back that lunch would be great and thanks for the compliments.

Sawyer: Can I bring lunch to you? How are you feeling?

Me: I am okay. I have to take a shower and take Max for a walk.

Sawyer: How about I come over around 12.

Me: That would be great.

Sawyer: See you then :)

I walk into the shower and get changed. This is only my third shower in 8 hours. I feed Max and make some coffee. We head out for our walk. It is a rainy day in Seattle, but I still can't help walking around with a silly grin. I feel like the whole world can see it. As I am walking, a new text comes in from Ana.

Ana: Hey, how are you feeling? Last night was so much fun! Thanks for coming!

Me: I am doing well just got up a little while ago. I am out walking the dog. Thanks for inviting me. I had an awesome time.

Ana: Great to hear. We are glad you came. Christian was amazed that Accountants can move ;)

Me: LOL. See you tomorrow! Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

Ana: You too.

Accountants can bust a move thank you very much. My phone buzzes again. This time it is Harland.

Harland: Hey Sweetie. How was the party?

Me: A lot of fun. And I got busy last night...

Harland: WHO WITH?

Me: Sawyer

Haland: NO WAY? ALL THE WAY?

Me: Not all the way but what we did was GOOD.

Harland: You go girl!

Me: How is your Italian sweet cream?

Harland: Marvelous. I think he is a keeper.

Me: Good. Having lunch with Sawyer

Harland: Nice. Ttyl

Me: Ttyl

Max and I finish our walk. I clean up the apartment. Sawyer knocks on the door promptly at 12.

"Hey how do you keep not needing me to buzz you in?" I ask.

"Somehow I always manage to come in with someone, and they never question when I say I am coming for you. Seems your door is a revolving door from what I hear." He says with a laugh.

I am curious about his answer but let it slide for now. He comes with sandwiches from the deli on the corner. He has brought potato salad and cole slaw too. The sandwiches are big, but I am so hungry from last night's workout. He eyes the couch and a smirk crosses his face. I follow his eyes, and bat my eyelashes at him.

"Last night was not me," I say in my best Mississippi accent,"I don't know what came over me. A southern lady never does such things." As I finish the last statement, I wink at him.

Matching me he says in his best cowboy speak, "Why ma'am I would never think of changing a lady into anything other than the lady she is?"

He smiles that million dollar smile, and I am half tempted to pull him back to that couch. I know that there are many things we need to talk about still. I am hoping he will bring it up. I bring out some ice tea from my fridge to go with our lunch.

"So, the Mississippi girl, must really exist if there is tea in your fridge. Is it sweet tea?"

"Not since I was 13. I gave that up when I realized how many calories were in it. I have sugar or artificial sweetner if you need anything."

"Why the company alone is sweet enough!"

"Yea yea Mr. Flattery will get you everywhere."

"That is what I am hoping."

We eat our lunch and talk over all the non deep subjects of last night.

"Did you see the way Jose was watching Ana?" Sawyer asks.

"I did notice, but usually as he was he was with some leggy brunette."

"It was strange. I was hoping the boss didn't see. I know Ana really likes him, but he is a little creepy." Sawyer stated.

"Well she is beautiful and alluring." I say wistfully.

"Not as beautiful as you." He countered.

"Thank you." I say with a full blush.

"Do you have plans this afternoon?" Sawyer asks.

"No just planning on chilling. I made sure and got most of my stuff done yesterday. I wasn't sure how I would feel today. I am surprising awake today."

"It was the exercise." He says.

He takes my hand in his, and I am amazed that he is right. The calmness is there, and it washes over me. I smile at him.

"What?" He asks.

"You were right last night when you said that a calmness rushes over you when you hold my hand. Well the same thing happens to me." I say and as I do I blush.

"You know I love when you blush." he replies.

When lunch is finished, I begin to clear the table. Sawyer meets me in the kitchen and wraps his arms around me. His embrace warms me instantly. I feel myself just melting into his arms. Every part of my body wants to stay in this embrace and not move. The feeling scares me to the core. How can after one night I feel this needy toward this man? His power over me scares me instantly. I try to calm myself, but it isn't working. He seems to sense my fear. He breaks his embrace and looks into my eyes.

"Come to the couch." He directs

My mind thinks oh god not another man who thinks physical fixes everything. I follow him. He sits at one end facing me. He takes my hand to bring calmness to both of us. As he begins to speak he looks down at his hands. Then he slowly brings his eyes to meet mine.

"After I lost my brother, I lost a piece of my heart. Then the wars and missions took other pieces because of lost friends. The things I saw took more pieces, and I began to build walls. When I left the service I had built a pretty good wall. I left an opening for my mom, my sisters, and my memaw. Memaw passed away last year and so the wall opening got smaller. I chose a dangerous line of work. Protecting men like Christian is dangerous. Someone always wants a piece of them for any number of reasons. I told myself that I should stay away from relationships for two reasons. Reason 1 is that my job is dangerous, and I shouldn't put someone else through the worry. Reason 2 is I can't take anymore pain. I have lost so many friends and family that I am kind of over the pain. I tried to keep you at a distance to just enjoy us. Last night was a wake up call. I didn't mean for us to do all that we did last night. I meant for us to talk for me to tell you that I had these feelings. I hope you don't think I am moving too fast. It is just after all that I have seen. I have learned just how short life is and how you should take every chance to show and tell someone how you feel. I am giving you a piece of my heart. Please be gentle."

My heart melted. Did this guy just say all this to me? Did he really put himself out there to me? Did he just ask me to be gentle on his heart? Again I am speechless. I haven't met someone like this. Someone so expressive. He is looking at me, and I read the fear. I look into his eyes.

"I have been hurt, and I need time to trust. I want to believe you. I want to except this. I do want to try though."

He smiles broadly and wraps me in a hug.

We spend the rest of the afternoon wrapped up on the couch watching NCIS reruns. It is so peaceful. At 6, I feed Max, and then asks if he wants dinner. He tells me he could eat. I ask him if Chinese would be okay. He tells me yes so I grab the menu. We order crab rangoon, beef with broccoli, sesame chicken, and vegetable lomein. I think the guy on the other end is shocked. This is not my usual order. The delivery guy shows up and sees Sawyer on the couch. I see a flash of confusion, but I give him a good tip anyway. Geez, what is so shocking about me with a date. We eat dinner sitting on the couch. When we finish, he gets a sad look on his face.

"I seriously hate to leave you. I have to go feed Charlie and take her for a walk."

"I know, I hate for you to go too."

He kisses me and heads for the door.

"See you tomorrow at work." He says.

"Good night Sawyer."

As he makes his way out the door, I suddenly miss him. I hold my heart to make sure it is still there. It hasn't leapt out of my chest. I finish cleaning up and take Max for a walk. When we get back, I head straight to bed. It really has been a beautiful day. I am not sure how I will hide my happiness tomorrow at work. I remind myself that we are at two weeks until the wedding so I am sure Ana will hardly notice.

Sawyer: Thanks for a great day

Me: Thank you and you are welcome

Sawyer: My bed feels lonely

Me: Mine too

Sawyer: Does Max sleep in your bed?

Me: Yes does Charlie sleep in yours

Sawyer: No wonder Max looked mad. I was in his spot. Yes Charlie sleeps in my bed

Me: I have to get some sleep. Some one kept me up all night lol Good night

Sawyer: Guilty as charged. Good night.

With that I turned off the lights and dreamed wonderful dreams.


	18. Chapter 18

As my alarm goes off, I wake up with an actual smile. I was dreaming of being on a tropical island with Sawyer. I slowly get out of bed and head to make breakfast. I give Max his first and while my coffee is brewing I go get ready. I quickly take Max out and head to work. I know there is a spring in my step. I see my usual bus commuters. I put my headphones in and today I listen to some country music for my cowboy. The song has dreamy lyrics about how much some guy loves some girl. For the first time, I let myself go there about Sawyer. As I exit the bus, I am on cloud nine. I walk in and Sawyer is sitting there at reception with Claire. I smile at them both. Claire comments on how happy I seem today and if she didn't know better she would swear I got lucky this weekend. Sawyer and I both try to keep from laughing.

"Oh, Claire, I just had so much fun Saturday night." I say as I look at Sawyer.

"Me too." Claire says.

"Unfortunately, back to the grind." I say as I head for some coffee. I take the earbuds out of my ears. I am filling my coffee cup when Sawyer walks inside. He runs his hand by my back and then in case anyone saw he apologizes. I just smile and walk to my office. When I put my stuff down, I find a text from him.

Sawyer: You look amazing today. Could not help but touch you.

Me: Thank you, and I am glad you did.

Sawyer: Have a good day. How late are you working?

Me: Probably 7. Wanna stop by later

Sawyer: I would love to. See you later.

I am just about to begin working when Ana comes in looking frustrated. She sits in the chair in front of my desk.

"Oh my I am so overwhelmed right now. This is so much. Christian and I had a big fight about vows last night. Vows! Am I doing the right thing? Is this crazy?"

"It isn't crazy. It is just beautiful. I watched you two on Saturday, and I have never seen anything so beautiful. You are both very lucky. He is your prince charming, but if you are wanting to give him up, there are a line of women waiting to take your place." I say with a smile.

She breathes a little. "I am so glad you are here." She says and heads for her office, but before she leaves she asks me to lunch.

This is how the next two weeks go. Ana comes in every morning fretting about something to do with the wedding, and I calm her down. Claire, Anna's assistant, Hannnah, and I help her with last minute items. I was so happy when her Step Dad, Ray, showed up. He came in three days before the wedding. She brought him in to show him where she worked. He was such a sweet man. You could just see him beaming with pride over his little girl.

In these two weeks, I went to two sessions with Flynn. He is helping me to accept that Sawyer could be for real. That he might not hurt me, but if he does, I always have Flynn. I am excited for the wedding for two reasons. I know it is going to be amazing, and secondly, once Christian and Ana go on their honeymoon Sawyer's schedule will be much more open. We are planning on really enjoying the time together. I even let him talk me into going to Montana to meet his family in two weeks. Flynn is definitely going to have to help me with that one. Harland is bringing his Italian Sweet Cream to the wedding since I received my own invitation. I, of course, will be going alone, but my date will be there. I will just get him later. He promises me that he has a surprise for me that night. He wants me to meet him at his place once I take Max for a walk.

The night before the wedding Kate and Mia invited me and Claire over around 9 for a toast to Ana. She made us promise not to stay too late because no one wants a bride with bags under her eyes. We bring some items for the honeymoon as a gag. I bring hand cuffs and some honey dust. When Ana opens it, her and Kate almost die laughing. Mia, Claire, and I aren't sure what the joke is, and Mia seems really hurt. Ana hugs Mia and tells her that one time Kate got stopped by the police and she tried to get her way out of the ticket by suggesting they use his handcuffs. Kate blushes and just shrugs. We all laugh. We have a glass of Champagne and then let the bride go to bed. We tell her we will see her in the morning. As we head for the door, Sawyer and Taylor walk us to the elevator. They wish us good night and go back in. Due to the visibility of the wedding, Sawyer has been at Escala every night. His only breaks are to walk Charlie. I can see how tired he is, but he tells me that tomorrow night will mark a rest time for him.

Sawyer: Did you get home safely?

Me: yes, I am out with Max now.

Sawyer: Text me when you get home.

Me: Yes sir.

The tension from the threats have Sawyer so on edge. He has been this worried about me every night. I know it has to be hard on him trying to keep her safe. I love Ana, but she can be so naive about all this stuff.

Me: I am home safely. Top and bottom lock secured sir.

Sawyer: Good. Taylor and I are playing xbox. See you tomorrow.

Me: Ah I see training exercise ;)

Sawyer: lol smart ss.

Me: :) Good night

Sawyer: Good night.

I have learned over the last couple of weeks that Taylor is like Sawyer's big brother. He is his superior, but also a mentor and friend. The other item I didn't know was that Mrs. Jones and Taylor are an item. That makes work interesting I am sure. For Sawyer, it is a home though. They look out for him. Sawyer told me that he has told Taylor about us. Taylor has been giving him pointers on how to work and keep your relationship in tack. He has a similar issue to Sawyer and I since he and Mrs. Jones are right there with Christian and Ana. After the wedding and honeymoon, we are going to try to have dinner with Gail one night. Sawyer is really worried about how she is going to cope with Taylor gone. I now know that his name is Jason Taylor. Sawyer has asked that I start calling him Luke instead of Sawyer. I feel like I am part of a special group. I haven't really had that. I have had Harland but never a special group. I really like this feeling of having all these people in my life. I settle down for sleep because the day will start sooner. The wedding is at 3 with the reception to follow. It will all be at Christian's parents house. Harland and Gabriel are picking me up. I have an appointment for hair and nails in the morning, so I better go to sleep.

Luke: Good morning beautiful. Can't wait for tonight.

Me: Good morning. I am so curious about tonight.

Luke: Change in plans. I am going with Taylor to drop off Mr. and Mrs. Grey and Taylor at Sea-tac. I will text you when to come over.

Me: Ok. See you in a few hours.

Luke: I can't wait to see how beautiful you look, babe.

Me: Well you will be as handsome as ever in your dark suit.

I get up and take Max for a walk then head to my appointment at Elena's place. I did it on purpose hoping to see her just miserable. I know she isn't invited. As expected, she is there and she looks like she had a hard night of drinking. The bags under her eyes are just priceless. I want to take a picture and send it to Ana, but know that whatever the issue is I shouldn't be involved. I get my hair put up with curls around my face. I have my toe nails and finger nails painted in a pale pink. I am wearing a strapless emerald green dress. It sits just above my knee.

I go back home. I pack my bag for later. I am not sure if I will need it, but I think that with me going over late I might not want to come home. Before I know it, it is time to get ready. I take Max for one more walk, and then get dressed. My gentleman show up right at 2:00 to wisk me to the wedding. I wanted to get there a little early in case Ana needs me. When we arrive, the house is decorated in pale pink, silver, and ivory. Grace and Carrick went all out. The house is so stunning. Harland and Gabriel go find a seat, and I go upstairs to check on Ana. As I go up the stairs, she looks amazing. I nearly cry as I look at her. It is the exact dress for her. Kate is dressed in a pale pink long silk gown dress that is just amazing. Mia is dressed to kill as always. She will be doing a reading about love during the ceremony. We do a group hug, and I go downstairs to take my seat. As I exit the house, I see Luke. He is by Taylor. He doesn't see me, so I head to my seat. I don't want to disturb him.

The music playing is from a String Quartet. They are playing amazing pieces. The sun is shining. We are sitting in beautiful white chairs. Even though I have been to many events at this house. This is by far the most beautiful I have seen it maybe because it is the wedding or maybe because it is during the day. I am not really sure. We see Christian and Elliot walk out. The cool confident CEO looks a little nervous to me. I see Taylor and Sawyer have changed positions. They are now behind Christian looking toward all of us gathered there. I see Luke scanning the crowd. His eyes stop on me, and I smile back at him. Harland hugs me and says that I will have to introduce him. I know I do. If this is going to work, they have to be a part of each other's lives. At 3, the music changes to Canon in D, and Kate walks down the aisle. I see Elliot just beam as she comes down the aisle. Since it is such a short bridal party, they continue to play as Ana comes down with Ray. I sneak a peak back to Christian, and he instantly relaxes. The look on his face is priceless. He is absolutely in love. Ana locks eyes on him, and she too seems to float down the aisle. Ray looks like he is a nervous wreck though. He brings Ana to Christian. The minister asks who presents this woman for marriage, and Ray nervously says her mother and I. Christian shakes his hand, and the ceremony begins. Mia reads her poem about love, and then Christian and Ana read their vows. Harland and I both wipe our eyes from the beauty of the vows. The ceremony ends with a quick kiss very disappointing. Christian proudly brings his bride down the aisle. Ana and Christian greet their guests. I hug Ana and shake Christian's hand. Harland introduces Gabriel to Christian. I really think Gabriel is going to faint. He really is a Greek God.

We head to the tent. The sides are open and facing the bay. The water looks beautiful in the afternoon sun. I grab a glass of champagne and walk outside the tent for some air. Luke somehow finds me. He comes up behind me, but I feel him before I see him.

"Beautiful ceremony." He says.

"Yes, it was." I answer.

"You look so stunning. I wish I was your date." He comments.

"I wish you were too." I stay wishfully.

"Gotta go back to work. See ya tonight babe."

"See ya."

With that, I go back into the tent. There is an incredible buffet at one end of the tent and on the other end a dance floor. We sit down to eat, and the first speech is all Elliot. He, of course, steals the show with his speech. Kate's is much more sweet and sentimental about old friendships, and how happy she is that her friend is happy. Christian toast his beautiful bride with words about saving him. I look and see the tears just streaming from Ana's eyes. The beauty of this day is too much. It is so much like a true fairytale. The rest of the evening follows suit in fairytale land. There first dance is to Sinatra. Then they danced to At Last by Etta James. After watching them dance, I get a text from Luke.

Luke: Don't take off that dress. I want my dance this evening.

Me: Okay I will stay dressed for you.

Luke: Thank you.

I dance with Harland a few times and join Kate and Mia. Jose and I share a dance as well. He seems to use me to get closer to Ana, but I don't mind. He cuts in, and I have the strange chance to dance with Christian. He is an absolutely amazing dancer. We do small talk about the beauty of his wife and the ceremony. I wish him well and safe journeys as the song ends. Ana's step dad and mom even dance together. Just before they leave, Ana dances with Christian's grandfather while Christian dances with his grandma. It is so cute. I am just in awe of these two. I hear that Ana and Christian are getting ready to leave. I find her in an embrace with Kate. I tell her how happy I am for her, and then wish her the happiest of honeymoons. I tell her that I will see you when you get back. She thanks me, and I join the rest of the guests making a human chain to send them on their way. At the end of our line is Taylor and Sawyer. They are waiting by the car. Mia, of course, catches the flowers. Harland, Gabriel and I stay on for another hour. As we are getting ready to depart, I get a message that Luke is home. I tell him I have to let Max out, and then I will be over. I sigh as I look at the message.

"So, are you falling in love?" Harland asks.

"I don't believe in love, you know that." I tell him.

"Oh girl, that look says otherwise. I saw him watching you all night long, and his looks say otherwise." He tells me.

"You are just filled with romantic fairytale craziness from the wedding, " I project.

"Ok, you cover but I know you. Just be careful. This week or this weekend coming I want to meet this guy." He demands.

"Yes, sir."

I walk into the house and feed Max. I go in and redo my make up. I grab a bag with the essentials just in case. I take Max for a walk. On my way back with Max, I text Luke to tell him that I will be by in 10.

As I walk up to his door, I hear Kip Moore playing. It is his new song Hey Pretty Girl. The lyrics are so romantic. "Hey pretty girl, won't you look my way. Love's in the air tonight. You can bet you'll make this ol' boy's day. Hey pretty girl won't you look my way." I knock on the door. As Luke answers the song lyrics say, "Hey pretty girl can I have this dance and the next one after that. Gonna make you mine there's a real good chance. Hey pretty girl can I have this dance." I smile because he looks amazing. The inside of his apartment has been transformed. There are a dozen roses on the table with candles burning everywhere. There are rose petals leading from the dinning room toward the hall and into one of the rooms. He has two glasses of champagne on the table. I look into his eyes and now I know what tonight is about. This is the seduction scene he had always planned. I come in and put my bag at the door. He leads me to the table where he has champagne and strawberries. I sit down. The song is still playing and now it is saying "Life's a long and winding ride Better have the right one by your side and Happiness don't drag its feet Time moves faster than you think." I take a sip of champagne and a bite of strawberry. He asks me to dance as the song says "hey pretty girl let's build some dreams and house on a piece of land." My eyes are fixed on his, and the music is playing. There is no doubt where this night will end, but right now, I am enjoying being in his arms dancing across his apartment.


	19. Chapter 19

I wake up to the smell of bacon and sausage I think. I smell coffee and pancakes or french toast I am not sure. I look around his room, and it appears to be a cloudy Seattle day. Last night was amazing. We danced, ate strawberries, and drank Champagne. He picked me up and carried me to his room. He set me down, and took my dress off. He placed me on his bed. He started kissing me at my knees, and then made it to my breasts. He started at one and then the other. He stroked me with his two fingers. After my first orgasm, he puts a condom on and slides himself in me. Not only did the calmness wash over me like usual, but the orgasm was like the fireworks on the 4th of July. As he said my name, I swear my insides just exploded. I had to watch myself because i wanted to shout that I loved him. In that moment, I felt forever, and it scared me as usual. I knew it was the orgasm, the champagne, and the ultra fairytale wedding that had my head full of these thoughts. We fell asleep naked wrapped in an embrace that I never wanted to leave.

Today was like waking up in the most amazing place not just because I was here in his apartment, but because it marked a freedom in our relationship. Ana and Christian were no longer going to be a focus. For the next three weeks, we could focus on us. Yes, we both still had to work for them, but his weekends would be free. Since he is in charge of security at Greyhouse and Escala, he will be at Greyhouse during the day and sleeping at Escala. Taylor is insisting that he be at Escala due to the fact that Gail will be there alone. He doesn't feel she will be safe alone. Poor Taylor the stress of being in Europe protecting them, and worrying about Gail and his daughter.

Since the neighbor girl is watching Max, I don't have to rush out of here. I pick up one of Luke's shirts and head for the kitchen. Charlie comes up to me with her tail wagging. I give her a good head scratch. As I approach the kitchen, Sawyer has his back to me cooking enough for an army. He is singing along to the Kip Moore song, and I go and wrap my arms around him. He jumps slightly. He turns toward me turning off his Ipod that he had in his ears. As he turns I notice, bullet scars I hadn't seen before. One in his upper chest near his shoulder and another in his side. That looks more like a graze. I run my hand over them without even thinking. He doesn't say a word. He takes my hands and kisses them bringing my eyes to his eyes.

"How did you sleep babe?" He asks.

"Like a rock. Hope I didn't snore." I say half joking.

"Only like a lumberjack, but I just thought I was back at the barracks."

I punch him in the arm, and he pretends to be wounded.

"Expecting the barracks for breakfast this morning?" I ask.

"Well after an amazing night, I didn't want to ruin the morning by not making your favorite breakfast. Trouble was I forgot to ask what that would be." He says with a shy smile.

"Coffee with milk would be an amazing start." I reply.

"Decaf or regular I made both."

"Regular, please"

"Coming right up babe."

I never thought I would want to hear some guy calling me babe, but as he says it, I am instantly in love with the sound. I sit down at the table. The roses are still in the center. Charlie comes to me and puts her head on my lap. I pet her and instantly feel guilty about Max. I know Sarah takes good care of him, but it feels like I am cheating on him. I look at Luke, and I know I don't want to be anywhere else. His phone rings, and he picks it up.

"Yes, sir. Understood. Good to hear. Talk to you tomorrow. I will." Luke says.

I look at him confused at the abruptness of his call.

"Taylor. He was calling to give me instructions, tell me they were in London, and take care of Gail."

"Is he always like that.

"Only when Christian is within listening area.

"I see."

"So what are you eating."

"I am starving. How about some bacon and french toasts with Syrup please."

"Great, coming right up."

We sit there eating breakfast. We are trying to figure out what to do today. What I want to say is let's just go back to bed, but I hold my tongue. I don't want to seem like a sex addict. It is just that it had been so long, and it was so amazing. He sees my expression and asks what I am thinking of. I tell him that last night was amazing. He smirks.

"Well, we could do nothing, but stay in bed all day." He inquires.

"Hmm that is certainly an option." I say shyly.

I help him clear the plates, and as I stand at the sink, he begins to kiss the back of my neck. The heat begins begins between my legs, and I feel my legs turning to jelly. I feel faint, and I know that we are spending the afternoon here. He will have to be at Escala tonight. We have all day to do this. As he is kissing my neck, he brings his hands to my breasts. Suddenly the dishes mean nothing, and I use the counter to brace myself. He moves one hand between my legs. Since I only have his t shirt on, he has access to between my legs. His fingers slip easily inside. I can't help but moan. His lips are still on my neck, one hand is circling my nipple, and the other is inside me. He turns me around and picks me up. I wrap my legs around him, and he carries me to his bed. He drops me onto the bed, and puts his body on top of me. He is kissing me. He slips his tongue inside, and our tongues begin their fluid dance. His fingers are inside of me stroking me. He brings me to release, and I collapse onto the bed. He gives me a few minutes of rests, and then he puts on a condom on and slides in. He is stroking at first slowly, and then he begins to accelerate. My hips are meeting him stroke for stroke. His hands are on my breasts and the intensity is almost too much. I am biting my lip trying to keep from coming. I am whispering his name in an almost whimper. I never want this feeling to end. He is amping up his stroking, and I know I won't last much longer. We both release together. We are spent. He gets up to remove the condom, and he comes back to bed. I fall back to sleep in his arms.

I wake up, and my back is to Luke's front. I can feel his hardness against me, and am instantly turned on again. His hands are on my nipples, and I am already wet. He slips himself in from behind. He gently puts me on my stomach and slides himself in. I bring myself up on all fours, and he is sliding in and out. He is circling my nipples with his fingers. The intensity of his strokes are bringing me to the edge. He stops to put a condom on. He has moved one hand between my legs. That hand is circling my sex, and at the same time his stroke intensity is increasing. I am moaning and calling his name. He is calling my name. We release together again with a jumbled mix of our names. I fall asleep while he gets up. I hear the shower running, but I fall back to sleep. When I surface again, I see a glass of water and one of the roses sitting next to it. I put his shirt on and find him sitting on the couch watching tv.

"I put clean towels in the bathroom if you want to take a shower. I ran to the store and bought some girl body wash. At least it looked like girl stuff."

"Okay, I will go give it a try."

I walk into the bathroom, and there is vanilla body wash in the shower and salon shampoo. I laugh because I wonder how he knew to get this stuff. Then I remember he has two sisters. They have trained him well. I get out of the shower and wrap myself in his towel. I left my bag in the living room, so I go out to him.

"How did I do?"

"You did well."

I grab my bag and head back into the bedroom to change. The rain is falling soft against his windows. I pull on a pair of jeans and a black shirt. I brush my hair and pull it into a bun. I go back and sit beside him. It is nearly three o'clock. He is going to have to go to Escala soon. I hate that our day is ending. This has been so magical like we were the only people on earth. He gives me a long kiss good bye, and we go our separate ways on the corner. I go back to my apartment while he goes back to work.

Max is excited to see me, but I know he can smell Charlie. Luke and I have both agreed that next weekend we will bring them to the dog park to meet. That way maybe crossing our fingers if they get along I could bring Max over when I stay with him or he could bring Charlie over to my place. I take Max for a walk, and then do some laundry to get ready for the week. I hate that I won't see him at work for the next three weeks. My phone vibrates as I am getting into bed.

Luke: Thank you for an amazing day.

Me: Thank you.

Luke: I am in bed missing you here with me.

Me: I am getting in bed and know how you feel.

Luke: Although there won't be a lumberjack tonight so I might actually sleep ;)

Me: haha.

Luke: Good Night Angelica

Me: Good night Luke.

As I wake up in the morning, I am instantly sad that I won't see him today. I look at my phone and no new message.

Me: Good morning. Hope you have a good day. I am going to miss seeing you today.

Luke: Good morning. I am going to miss you too.

As I walk into SIP, the glow of my skin must be a dead give away. Claire instantly jumps on me.

"Oh girl, you look like you had an amazing weekend." She says.

"Um actually I did."

"Who is he and does he have a brother."

"He is someone I met recently, and no he doesn't have a brother."

"Dang, if he has a friend. Hook me up."

"I will."

I go to my office, and start to get work done. My thoughts are on Luke. My phone rings, and it is Harland.

"Hey girl, how was your weekend."

"My dry spell is over."

"No, way, really? How was it? Is he big?"

"It was incredible. I think I saw Fireworks. He had strawberries and champagne and then the next morning he cooked an amazing breakfast."

"Wow."

"I know really."

"Should we all do drinks on Friday night?'

"That sounds good. I will talk to Luke."

"Okay, Angie, I am really happy for you, and hope he stays the real thing."

"Thanks, Harland. Me too."

With that I am able to settle down for work. I am so busy that I don't even take my lunch. Luke texts me that he will pick me up at 6. At 6 he comes into my office to tell me he has to check a few security things here. He finishes up at 6:30, and we head out the door. We talk about our days as we drive home. He gives me a long kiss and asks me to join him and Gail for dinner tomorrow night. I agree to. Max and I go through our usual evening activities. As I get into bed I check my phone.

Luke: Good night Angelica. I really miss you here.

Me: Good night I miss you too.

As I drift off, I dream we are on a tropical island. We have a blanket spread on the sand. The sound of the ocean is all around us. My head is resting on his chest and just before I drift off. I tell him that I love him.


	20. Chapter 20

Luke: Good Morning Beautiful

Me: Good Morning

Luke: Can't wait to see you tonight.

Me: Wish you were going to be at the office :(

Luke: me too

I love waking up like that. I smile as I get up to begin my morning routine. I wear my yellow skirt with blue flowers and a yellow shirt. I take Max for his walk, and then I am on my way to the bus. As I arrive at the office, the day begins as usual. I have to say it is much more relaxing knowing that Christian can't just show up looking for financial information. My day cruises by, and surprisingly I am not nervous about tonight. At 6, Luke is waiting for me outside. I go out to him. He is waiting outside the car for me. He gives me a long slow kiss. My knees go weak.

"Hey, you look amazing." He says.

"Thank you! You too."

"Are you ready to meet Gail?"

"Yes, I hope it is okay."

"You will be fine. Let's go."

We drive to Escala. As we walk in, I am amazed at how beautiful it is. I know that Gail is keeping her cleaning routine like Christian could walk in at any time. She comes up to me and gives me a big hug.

"It is so nice to meet you, Angelica." She says.

"It is nice to meet you." Her embrace is so warm. It doesn't make me nervous instead it makes me so relaxed.

"Dinner smells amazing."

"Thank you. I am making Chicken Alfredo. It is Luke's favorite. I hope that is okay."

"It is perfect, and I will try to remember that." I say with a wink.

"Gail, could you entertain Angelica? I need to check some security cameras." Luke asks.

"Of Course dear, I will let you know when dinner is ready."

"Angelica, would you like a glass of wine." Gail asks.

"I would love one."

"Come let's sit at the breakfast bar." She leads me over to the breakfast bar.

"So, how long have you been dating Luke?" She continues.

"About 6 weeks." I say.

"Luke is a great kid. He is such a great member of the security team."

"I have been enjoying our time together."

"Luke says that you work for the same company as Ana. What do you do there?"

"I am in AVP of Accounting. How is it working for Ana and Christian on this side? I have to say I find it rather intimidating on my end."

"Christian is Christian. Once I learned exactly how he likes things, everything has been very smooth. Ana is the first woman that Christian has had live with him. I will say that changed him for the better. I have it easy. The guys on the other hand get beaten with words frequently. I just want to warn you. The security job takes a lot of focus. Christian is very important to these guys, and they want to protect them. You have to allow them to do this job. Christian expects them to be perfect. Any errors in their job performance is like weakness. That is why my job and really if you are with Luke your job is to make sure he can focus on the task of protecting Christian and Ana."

"I understand. I have seen all the trouble that Ana can get herself into first hand. How long have you been with Jason?"

"About five years. Mmm Dinner is just about ready. Luke, honey, Dinner is ready."

"Can I help?" I ask.

"No just go ahead and sit down."

She plates up our food, and then joins us at the table. We talk about Christian and Ana. They are in London currently. Jason has been sending her pictures. She says that she has been keeping herself busy cleaning everything just as usual. She has been making food to freeze. The dinner was amazing. We leave and head to my apartment. He drops me off with a kiss.

I take Max for his walk, and really think about what Gail said. I am not sure how to take it. I work a lot so I respect people who work hard. I know there is more to this story. I feel like she was giving me a warning about the stress of this job. Was it just the job or was it Luke too? I have to remember to talk to Flynn about this.

The rest of my week is the same. Luke picks me up every night but Thursday. I have my meeting with Flynn that night. I bring up Gail's concerns, but I feel a strange vibe in the room. I figure it has to do with Christian. He tells me that we will deal with each issue as it come up. We talk about the fact that I have agreed to go to Montana. The good doctor is very proud of the steps I have made.

Friday night offers a new challenge. We meet up with Gabriel and Harland. Of course as we walk into the little coffee shop from our first date, I see Harland getting his protective big brother suit on. I warn Luke as we cross the restaurant. Harland stands to take his hand.

"Listen Luke, let's just get this out in the open. Don't hurt her. If you do, we will have issues." Harland says.

I put my head in my hands like really this is how you meet. Really. I shoot him a look that says that, but as usual Luke rises to any challenge.

"Harland, is it. I care deeply for Angelica. I will do anything in my power not to hurt her. I hope to be worthy of your trust and hers."

With that we sit down to an awesome dinner and great conversation. The dinner lasts for a couple of hours. We head out to the car. Since Ryan is watching Escala, we can actually enjoy our weekend. Luke drops me off, and I take Max for a walk. When Max and I arrive home, I go get changed into something more comfortable. Luke comes over a little later. We cuddle up on the couch watching tv. It is such a nice feeling. The week was so hard because we couldn't do this. We start kissing on the couch, and then we go into the bedroom. It doesn't take long, and we are getting down to the main attraction. It feels so easy between us, and I try to remember if the others did too. Soon I can't think anymore because he is hitting all the right spots. After my second, we release together. We collapse in the form of sweaty bodies and heavy breathing. He gets up first to go into the bathroom to get cleaned up, and I fall asleep. I wake up later with him wrapped around me. When I come back to bed, he is like a homing beacon immediately finding me. It feels so good to be wrapped in his arms, and I fall back to sleep.

I wake up to Max's wet nose. I wiggle my way out from Luke's embrace. I throw on a shirt and yoga pants. I take Max for a walk, and pick up some pastries on the way home. I know I should make him a breakfast like he did me, but I like this way. When I was a kid, my aunt and I would go to take her dog for a walk. On the way home, she would always buy a box of pastries, and that is what we would have for breakfast. Those were some of my favorite memories. I came back to the apartment and made coffee and Max's breakfast.

I went in to take a shower. As I was coming out, I saw that Luke was waking up.

"Hey beautiful, how come you didn't wake me?"

"I thought you could use the sleep."

"It did feel nice."

"I have breakfast in the kitchen with some fresh coffee."

"Sounds good. Then I will have to go walk Charlie."

"Did you still want to meet up at the dog park today?"

"Yes, I do."

We had breakfast together and agreed to meet around 1 at the dog park. I am really hoping this goes well. I would love not to have this where one of us has to run home to walk the dog. It would be nice to be able to wake up and take the dogs for a walk together. I clean up breakfast and spend some time reviewing work. I grab Max's leash, and we go to the dog park. He gets excited when he sees where we are going. He is pulling me to the park. He loves the dog park. We haven't been in a while. I see a few of the other dog parents that I had known previously. As I am standing there talking, I see Luke. He looks so good with a white t shirt and jeans. He walks with such confidence. It is so sexy. I am drawn from my conversation watching him. He lets Charlie off her leash, and comes by me. He kisses me on the cheek. I see the other dog parents look at me curiously. We step away from the group and watch as Charlie and Max find each other.

They sniff each other. They challenge each other, and then they seem to make friends. We watch as they chase each other. Luke whistles, and Charlie comes running. Max, much to my happiness, follows right behind Charlie. Thankfully, it looks like their first meeting has went well. We take a walk over to a cafe near the park that is dog friendly.

"My mom called this morning. She is excited to meet you, but she told me that I will be sleeping on the couch or in my sister's old room."

"Oh good, I would never share a bed with you." I say with a laugh.

"Hey don't laugh. My mom is a good Christian woman." He says while pretending to be crushed.

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it."

"My sisters can't wait to grill ya."

"I hope I pass the test."

"It is going to be hard."

"I can imagine."

We spend the rest of the day with the dogs hanging out, and the night is spent wrapped in bed. Sunday, we take the dogs hiking. Both of them actually share the back of Luke's Jeep. It is such a beautiful day, and the dogs are so happy. It is that moment where you feel like life can't get any better. That moment where life feels perfect. We head back down the mountain and back to Luke's. It will be our last night together until we head to Montana next Friday. I am taking three days off Friday, Monday, Tuesday. Gail is watching Charlie for Luke, and Harland is watching Max. I haven't been away from Max for this long. I feel really guilty. Since we are flying, we really can't take the dogs.

The week goes by in a flash. Before I know it, I am at my appointment on Thursday night. Flynn reminds me to be open to new experiences, and that I am worthy of making friends. I should be open to the possibility of a relationship with Luke's family. He tells me to breathe through any anxiety. Just take walks through the farm. He tells me that I will be great just have faith in myself. I go home and start to pack. Max looks so upset with me. I hate that look. I go to sleep, but can hardly fall asleep in nervousness of this trip.


	21. Chapter 21

I wake up sort of. I have this stress dream that happens. I dream that I am awake all night, so when I wake up, I don't know if I was up all night or asleep. I take Max for our final walk for 5 days. I try not to be sad. I know him and Harland will have a ball. I take him back to my apartment and before I know it, Luke is waiting outside for me. I grab my bag and head out the door. I am wearing jeans and a t shirt.

"Hey Beautiful. Ready to meet the fam?"

"I guess." I try not to look sick.

"Don't worry. They will love you."

We head to Sea-tac. As I am waiting for our flight to take off, I walk to the store in the terminal. That is where I see it. It is People Magazine. In a small picture on the cover is me dancing with Christian. My hands are shaking. This is so not good. I buy the magazine and head to the terminal. Inside I see a clearer picture of me at the wedding. My heart freezes in my chest. Soon they will all know how to find me. All the people that I left behind will know exactly where I am. I tell myself that no one from my past reads gossip magazines, and that Gary is safe in jail. God only knows what rock my evil step father is under or my mother for that matter. I text Harland to calm myself.

Me: made it to People magazine

Harland: no way.

Me: Yup cover and inside Christian must have sold the pictures.

Harland: Oh crap forgot to tell you. My intern lost the paperwork, and Gary is out of jail.

Me: WHAT?

Harland: Yea sorry honey. He won't bother you. That is too much energy.

Me: Hope you are right.

Harland: I am. Enjoy your trip.

Me: Thanks :(

I walk over to Luke. He senses my sadness and know that soon I will have to tell him my story. They call our flight. After we get on the flight to Missoula, I show him the magazine. He laughs and says, "I didn't know I was bringing home a celebrity." He laughs and kisses my temple. I try to relax. I am sure Harland is right why would any of them care. Before I know it, we are landing. The landscape outside is picture perfect. We make our way through the airport. When we get to the curb, there is his dad in a Chevy Pick Up truck. His dad comes out and shakes my hand. Father and son give each other the very manly silent hand shake.

It isn't a long trip to his parents ranch. The drive is very quiet except the radio playing softly in the background. It is country music of course. The drive to a ranch is down a long dirt road off the main road. There are cows on one side of the road and wheat on the other. There are mountains rising from behind the farm house. The ranch house and barns are at the end of the road. I see at least three vehicles. The farm house is beautiful exactly what you would imagine for a Montana ranch. It is all dark wood and one story. The barn is almost as big as the house. I feel like I am walking onto the set of Legends of the Fall. His mom is waiting on the porch with his sisters. His nieces are out there too. My nervousness is rising. I am trying to breathe, but it so isn't working it. The truck stops, and I know it is showtime.

As he gets out of the truck, one yellow lab and two chocolate labs come running out toward the truck. The three dogs run directly to Luke. He gets down with them, and it is like a welcome home party.

"Welcome!" His mom and sisters say. His brother-in-laws are at the far end of the porch. Sarah is his older sister. Sarah has long dark hair and is really beautiful. She is there with her two little girls Meagan and Elizabeth. His younger sister Hannah is there too. Hannah's hair is lighter than Sarah's but equally as beautiful. She has one little girl Riley and is pregnant with a boy due this fall. His mom is so beautiful. She is wearing a long flowing demin skirt and a tank top that is covered by a long western shirt. Her hair is thick dark brown with curls in it and a hint of gray. She comes to be and gives me a hug. Luke walks over to his brother-in-laws and shakes their hands.

"Luke, I would like a hand for the next few days, but today I will let you show your lady friend around."

"Yes, Sir." He says.

"Are ya hungry baby." His mom asks.

"A little, mom."

"Well, I made a lunch spread. Why don't you come inside and eat up."

When we get inside, she has a big fresh salad both a fruit salad and a veggie salad. She has pasta salad, and some lunch meat. She has a hardy homemade wheat bread and a homemade bread that looks like Italian bread. There are jugs of tea to drink. Luke guides me to the table. He puts me in a place where I am between Sarah and himself. I wonder if Sarah is the tougher one or the easier one. Lunch is light. The only questions I have to field are where am I from and how was Harvard. Was it really impressive? I try to help clear the dishes but his mom with have no part of it. After lunch, Luke and I head to the stables. He brings out a chestnut mare, and begins to saddle her up.

"Have you ever ridden?" He asks.

"Only once or twice and that was at dude ranches."

"Okay then you will ride with me."

He finishes saddling her up and helps me on. Then he comes up. He takes me down a path and shows me where all the cows are. He shows me the wheat fields, and then takes me back to his mother's garden. It is filled with every vegetable imaginable. He shows me her fruit trees. She has a very impressive garden. We start up a path that will lead us onto one of the mountains. As we climb he tells me stories of climbing these hills with his brother. He tells me about how they would spend hours climbing and then when they got to the top. They would lay there and watch the clouds roll by. The view as we near the top is incredible. I have never seen anything like it.

When we get to the top of the mountain, Luke gets off the horse, and then helps me off. He walks me to a place near the edge. There is a stream right below us. The sun is high, and it is lighting up the country below.

"Jackson," He yells, "You around big brother. I want you to meet my special lady. Jackson, this is Angelica."

"Hello, Jackson, it is a pleasure to meet you." I say to the wind.

Luke smiles that I am right in the moment with him.

"This was Jackson and my place. I just couldn't think of any place to better to introduce you too."

"I am honored that you would introduce us." I say.

"This is the place I have always felt close to him. This is kind of our place. My mom can't understand why I come here to talk to him instead of his grave in town, but this was the place that we always came to. We talked about our dreams, our hopes, girls we liked, and girls we didn't. This is where he taught me football moves." He tells me.

"Then this is where you should come to be with him. You know that this is where he would want you to go." I tell him.

"Would you like to sit here for a little bit?" He asks.

"Yes, I would."

He ties the horse to a tree on top of the mountain. He takes a blanket from the saddle bag and leads me to a nice shady spot. I sit on the blanket in front of him cross legged staring down at my fingers knowing that I need to be honest. He just introduced me to his brother. He takes my hands in his and brings them to his lips.

"You can tell me." He says.

"My past isn't exactly a fairy tale." I take a deep breathe and continue, "I was adopted and at 4 my father killed himself. Then my mom remarried, and he sexually abused me. The third husband was really nice actually. I left for college six months after they divorced. I never met my fourth or more step fathers. I haven't spoken to my mom in probably 4 years. In college, I had some pretty bad boyfriends. One of them was worse than the others. One night he put me in the hospital. I am telling you all of this because it is me. I am a messed up girl. You deserve better than my drama. When we were at the airport, I saw that magazine, and I know that my past can find me now." I look up and I see the strangest calmness in his eyes. I swear it is like he knew this all and was waiting for me to tell him.

"Angelica, no one has it easy. We all have our roads. Some are rockier than others, but it is the rocky roads that build us. What I see is someone that I want to spend a lot of time with and build new roads with."

"Why aren't you running? I am sure an all American boy like you could find an all American girl and settle down raising all American kids like your sisters."

"I am not going anywhere Angelica. I meant what I said to Harland. I am here for you, and I am going to earn your trust."

We spend the rest of the day on the blanket. At some point, I fall asleep. The sun and the air were so beautiful, and I felt so relaxed. I am wrapped in his arms. We head down the mountain to get ready for dinner. As we are coming down his dad and sister's husbands are bringing the herd into the closer pasture. That will protect them over night.

His mother is cooking a big spread. This time she is cooking it on the grill. She has burgers and chicken. I am afraid to ask just how fresh this all is, but I am sure that it is really fresh. We sit down for dinner. His father says grace, and then we begin to enjoy the feast. The family dynamic is so comfortable. Sitting here you would think Luke was here every night. The sisters and him are teasing each other. The little kids are delighted to have their Uncle Luke home. After dinner, we head outside to watch the sun set. This is like a slice of Heaven. His sisters head out. They have to get to their houses. They live up the road a piece. Tomorrow morning, I am going to help them in the garden while Luke works out in the field with his dad. We head back into the house, and his mom has made up the guest room for me. Before she went to bed, just as Luke had predicted, she said, "No, funny business Mr. You sleep in your room." I tried not to laugh.

The bed in the guest room is a big feather bed. It has a iron frame. It is exactly what you would picture. There are two homemade quilts on the bed. The one Luke told me was made by his Memaw. I take that one and head to bed. Tomorrow is my first day of being a farm hand. I half dread half look forward to spending the day with his mom and sisters.


	22. Chapter 22

AN: I am not really a ranch expert so if I get things wrong I apologize to those who are. I am a great fan of farmers and mean them only the most respect. I want to thank all of you for reading, following, and faving. Your support has meant the world to me. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

The morning comes way too early. Since I am sleeping in a strange house, I am sleeping very lightly. Every sound wakes me. I hear the sounds of someone in the kitchen. I put on my jogging pants and head into the kitchen. Luke's mom is getting the coffee started.

"Can I give you a hand with anything?" I ask. She must not be used to anyone up with her so she jumps at the sound of my voice.

"No dear, I have it. You should go sit on the porch. The mornings are something else." She answers me.

"I am sorry to startle you."

"I am just not used to anyone being up with me except these three mutts." She says pointing to the dogs at her feet.

"I understand. I have one at home that does the same thing."

"Tell ya what, would you mind helping me. The boys from town are coming up to the ranch to help with the herd today. I want to make some bacon biscuit sandwiches and the extra set of hands will be much appreciated. I forgot that I have to make breakfast for Luke and his Dad this morning. Luke's dad could live on coffee and toast. I try on the weekends to make him some eggs and bacon."

"Absolutely. Just tell me what you need."

"If you could mix up some biscuit dough. The flour is over there, baking powder is in the cabinet there, and the butter and milk are in the fridge. Gonna need to use about triple the recipe. I know it by heart, but here it is written down. Luke's memaw passed it to me, and I have passed it to each of my girls. I am gonna start frying the bacon."

I begin mixing in the ingredients for the biscuits. I am so hoping I don't mess it up somehow. These seem like really important biscuits. I instantly like his mom. She sets about things with such ease. You would just never know all the worries she has because she just seems so focused. She glides through making breakfast. I get my biscuits all prepared and ready for the oven. I put them in the oven, and grab a cup of coffee.

"Need anything else." I ask.

"Not right now, why don't you go check out that view."

I take her up on her offer and go sit on the porch. She is right. The air is so crisp and clean. The dew is drying in the morning light. As I am sitting there, a Moose crosses over toward the mountain. I can't believe it. I hear the timer and know that I should go back in. The house smells so good. It is a wonderful combination of coffee, bacon, and biscuits. As I go back into the kitchen, his mom has started frying eggs. I take the biscuits out and put butter on the top just like the recipe says. I let it soak in and then I start slicing them. I put three slices of bacon in each one. The rest of the bacon and biscuits go on a plate to go to the table. I excuse myself to take a shower because she tells me that people will be arriving from town soon. I get dressed in jeans, a tank top. I brought a long sleeve white shirt to cover my delicate Irish skin from the sun. I come out and his mom looks at my shoes.

"Sweetie, those aren't gonna work. Here I have a pair of boots in the work room that will do much better." She was dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. His sisters are here now, and they to are dressed to work. Luke comes out of his room looking amazing. He has jeans, boots, and a light blue shirt. He comes in and kisses me on the cheek. I blush as everyone looks on.

An older gentleman walks into the house. Luke walks over to him and gives him a big hug. "Pepaw, how are you?" Luke asks.

"I am doing well son. I had your Aunt Janie spring me from the old folks home so I could see ya." Pepaw says with a chuckle.

"Aunt Janie, Pepaw, this is Angelica." Luke introduces me.

"It is nice to meet you both." I reply.

Pepaw sits at the head of the table, and we sit down for breakfast. Pepaw leads us in prayer and everyone eats. By the time we finish, all the guys from town have come. Luke is like a conquering hero. It is so wonderful to watch all these people so excited to see him. I hang back on the porch giving him a chance to talk to everyone. They start talking about high school. One of the guys begins teasing him that Melody will be in tonight to go to the community dance. He blushes as he looks back at me. I give him the go ahead with a wink. I go into the house to talk to his mom and sisters. Luke comes to kiss me good bye and wish me well with his sisters and mom. As he says it, he gets a punch from his sister.

I passed my first test. My biscuits were a success at least that is what they tell me. His mom, sisters, and I clean up from breakfast, and then head out to the garden. We spend the morning cleaning up the garden, and then pick what is ready. The garden is really big, and there are so many wonderful vegetables. We bring them inside and get them cleaned up. We have to fix some dishes to pass for tonight.

"Did you bring a dress?" his sister asked.

"No, I didn't. Luke failed to mention this evenings event." I say.

Luke's mom looks at me like she is sizing me up. She then says, "I probably have something in my closet. We will go to my room."

"I don't want to be any trouble. I can always just stay back here." I answer.

"Oh, that isn't happening especially if Melody is in town. We need to show you off." Hannah says with a laugh.

We all follow Luke's mom to her room. She has beautiful dresses in her closet. She pulls out a blue dress with spaghetti straps and a long full skirt but a fitted bodice. It is absolutely beautiful. She hands it to me.

"This should work just fine. Melody was Luke's high school girlfriend. They dated for two years cheerleading captain and quarterback. They were practically royalty. The summer after high school Luke's dad needed help so he and Melody decided they'd go to Missoula for college. Luke would just take come classes before he followed Jackson. Around Thanksgiving that year Luke was really enjoying taking classes and was even beginning to give up the idea of following Jackson when we got the news. Luke went to a very lonely dark place and was hell bent to follow Jackson then. Melody didn't know how to or want to help him so she broke up with him. I want you to show her exactly what she lost." his mother said as she pulled a pair of teardrop pearl earrings from her dresser. She held her heart as she spoke of Jackson like she was holding it together as she spoke of her first born son.

The girls went home to get ready. I went toward my room. Luke's mom stops me as I am on my way.

"Angelica, Luke told me what you did for him yesterday. You understand him, and I appreciate that you gave him that. The pain he carries from Jackson leaving is ever present. Some times I felt he was trying to join him in all the choices he has made since that date, but seeing him with you and meeting you shows me that I see him changing. I am no longer afraid for my son. I am still afraid of his job, but I hope that now that he has you he may think before he does something crazy and life threatening."

"I care a lot about your son."

"I know, and really I would say that you love him."

All I could do was blush. First, we heard the cows then we heard all the guys. I walked into my room, and dressed in the gown with the shoes his mom gave me. I did my best make up and hair. I went out to sit on the porch. I am staring out at the ranch. It is so beautiful and calming. I could almost see myself living here. I hear the door open. Luke is there in a white button down shirt and dark jeans.

"Hey beautiful. Did you have fun today? Wow, that is one heck of a dress."

"My day was great. The dress is your mom. How was your day?"

"My day was good. It was great to be with my dad again. I kinda missed it. Are you ready for tonight?"

"Sure, I hope I will be an okay date for the Quarterback."

"Oh, you will." he says as he hugs me.

We head to the community center in town. There are people everywhere. We go inside, and there is a table saved for Sawyer Family. I meet his other Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. Hannah and Sarah come to stand with me like a support staff. Luke is definitely still the high school quarterback. People are coming up to him from every angle. They are so proud of him. I see her before she makes it to him. She has beautiful brown hair and her body and face are perfect. Her clothes are perfect as well. I stand back because I know not to affect this interaction. I study his expression as she comes to him. His expression is guarded. His body language is tight. She immediately tries to hug him. He does the straight man hug for her and my inner insecure girl cheered. I immediately relax when I see the big rock on her left hand and slowly turn to see who is the gentleman. He is in the back of the room watching similarly to me. The interaction feels like forever but was really only a few minutes. Luke immediately comes up to me and wraps his hands around me. We go back to our table to eat. We finish eating. They do an auction to raise money for the local volunteer firefighters. After the auction, they began a dance. When they play our song "Hey Pretty Girl," Luke stood up and took my hand. We danced across the floor like we were all alone. It was so wonderful. When we where done, Luke's sister said that Melody looked like she was gonna kill someone. Melody made many an attempt to talk to him, but he really didn't seem interested or he was doing it for me. We spent the rest of the night dancing. On the way home, I rested my head on his shoulder. As we went into the house, we went to go to my room. His mother called his name.

"I know mom, I am just going to lay with her for a few minutes no hanky panky." He said with a chuckle.

I was so tired. I laid down with him on the bed. We laid there and he kissed my head.

"Thank you for coming with me to Montana."

"I am so glad I did. Your family is amazing. This ranch is the most beautiful place."

"I always forget how much I love it here."

"I can see why."

"Well I better let you sleep. We have to go to church with my family tomorrow. Hope that is okay."

With that, I hear a little knock on the door. I say come in. His mom comes in. I can see her relax when she sees we are fully dressed. She brings me a simple flowing flowered dress for church tomorrow.

"Thank you." I say.

"You are welcome, see you tomorrow morning. Lucas, come on time for bed."

"Yes ma'am." He says with a smile.

"Good night beautiful."

"Good night Luke."


	23. Chapter 23

I put the dress on that his mom gave me last night. His sisters let me know that there would be an interaction with Melody. We didn't realize that today is also the day of the church picnic. Luke comes out of his room. He has black pants and a white button down shirt. He looks so good. I am really hating that we are at his parents house because there are a number of things I would like to do to him. e load up in his Dad's truck to go to church. I am very thankful that it isn't an early service. I haven't been to church in I can't tell you how long. My step dad used to take me to church in Mississippi. He felt that it was good for me given all that I had seen in my life.

We walk into the church and again I feel like I am with the local celebrity. People are shaking his hand. He is very good and introduces me every time. We go take out seat by his family, and of course, Melody is a few rows behind us. The choir is very good. The preacher talks about the prodigal son returning, and I can feel Luke tightening up. I hold his hand through the whole service. After the service, we shake the preachers hand and head to the lawn outside. His dad and many of the other men are by a large grill. They are drinking soda and tea. I am kind of trapped. Luke is keeping me very close. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Melody. She runs right up to him with me at his side and gives him a hug. I smile politely at her. Although there are many things, I would like to say to her, I keep my tongue reminding myself we are outside church.

"Luke, I am coming to Seattle next month for work. Do you think we could grab a drink?" Melody says to him.

"My schedule is very busy with work Melody. I can't really promise anything." Luke says as he looks at me.

"Well, I will call you when I get to Seattle to see if we can get together."

She walks away.

"I won't actually have a drink with her." He says.

"Luke, I don't own you. You can have a drink. I am not threatened. If you feel the need to be with her, there is nothing I can do to stop it." I say with an unbelievable amount of courage and determination. It is true I do believe that. This girl is his past. There is history. My question is how and why does she have his number. I have to remember to ask that question.

"You are so amazing. You know that." He says as he grabs me against him.

We go join his family at the table. There is hamburgers and hot dogs and all kinds of salads and desserts. Luke points to the items his mom made. I make sure to put a little of each on my plate. The lunch is filled with stories of little Luke and all the trouble he got into. The family is so happy that I forget for a second how much pain each of those stories must bring. His nieces are running around with their friends but always staying near the family.

Once every one is done eating there are lots of fun contest and games. There is a pie eating contest for both kids and adults. There is a dunk booth with the preacher in it. The Sawyer family proudly enters the games. His mom tells me that Luke and I will be in the three legged race. Oh God our first test as a couple how we work in a stressful situation. Of course, God in his wisdom has us competing again Melody and her boyfriend Greg.

"Luke, remember how good we were at this?" She says.

"Yea, I remember." he says

I look at Greg for sympathy. He seems as happy about this as I am. Luke's mom ties my leg to Luke's. She is smiling. I believe she is really happy. We go to the start line.

"Don't worry about how well we do. This is all for fun." He says.

"I haven't done this since middle school." I reply.

"Don't worry you will be fine."

Thankfully, there are two couples between us and Melody. They fire the starter pistol, and we are off. We are moving quickly, and I am amazed at how well we work together. Before I know it, we are in the lead, and we actually win. Luke gives me a big kiss at the finish line. His mom and sisters come running to us. It feels so good. His nieces are jumping around us. Melody congratulates us as she and Greg walk away.

We spend the rest of the picnic hanging with his family. The picnic is over around 2:30. We all help clean up and head to the ranch again. There is work to be done at the ranch. I follow his mom out to the garden, and Luke and his dad head to the barns.

"Did you enjoy the picnic?" His mom asks.

"I did. It was very nice. You have a lovely town and community here. Did you go up in this town?" I inquire.

"I did. I was the head cheerleader, and Luke's dad was the quarterback. I went to school in Missoula for awhile while John stayed here on the farm. After awhile, I realized that he was my everything. I came home, and we have been together ever since. My brother runs my family farm. You met him last night. This was Pepaw's farm. John took it over when the boys were little, and Pepaw and Memaw moved to town. He lives in a retirement home in town. He was too lonely after Memaw died, and too stubborn to move in with us." His mom told me.

"What did you study?" I ask. I am not sure if that is the correct question.

"I studied business. It has helped with the farm since this really is a business," She says.

"What made you go to Harvard?" She asked.

"I wanted to get away, and I wanted to prove I was something." I figure why lie.

"How was it?"

"Cambridge is amazing, but I felt like I was totally out of my element. That is how I found my best friend. He helped me through it."

"What is the guy like that my son protects?"

"He is amazingly kind, but he is tough as nails a perfectionist. He expects only the best. He thinks so much of your son that he gave him the job of protecting his girlfriend and now wife."

"Luke can't always take pressure. It is very hard for him to have his loyalty divided. I worry about this job of his."

"He does very well."

"I am glad he found you."

"Thank you. I am very glad to be in his life."

We finish picking the vegetables in the garden and watering the garden. We head inside. His mom starts making a dinner. We get it all ready for the guys when they come in from working with the animals. We all sitdown and have dinner.

After dinner, Luke and I head to the barn. He turns on the radio low. He grabs a blanket and puts it on some hay bales. The only sounds are the radio and the animals in their stalls. There are so many things that I want to happen right now, but I know that his parents could come in at anytime. We lay on the hay bales and stare at each other.

"This place is so beautiful. When was the last time you came home?"

"It has been about 7 months."

"Do you miss it?"

"I miss the barn, the animals, and the mountains. I do miss my family, but it is really hard to come back here."

"Too many memories?"

"Yes."

"I really like your mom."

"Yea she is pretty great. She is so strong. I don't know how she does it."

"How does Melody have your cell number?"

"One of the times I came home about 1.5 years ago, we started talking again. I guess I was in a low spot trying to recapture that high school feeling when you believed you could conquer the world. You had dreams and faith in the fact that you would be a rock star. The moment before life teaches you how cruel it can be. It never really went anywhere. This is the first time I have seen or heard from her in over a year. Are you jealous?''

"I can't stop your past from entering our life. Life I said I don't own you. But really if it wasn't for your momma, there would be so many things I would want to do to you in this barn that have nothing to do with your past girlfriend."

"Well my parents are probably not going to come in here, and i know the ranch hands have all gone home."

"No, your mom told us no hanky panky."

"You are really going to make me wait until we get back to Seattle. I might explode."

"I wouldn't want to disappoint your momma."

"Well how about a little kiss?"

"Just a little one."

kiss

"How about another by the back of your ear?"

"Maybe one by each ear."

kiss...kiss

"How about one by were your shirt buttons there?"

"Ok..maybe one."

Kiss

"What about if I slide my hand up your dress to touch your thigh?"

"Well..maybe just one touch."

His hand slides up my dress and before I know it, his hands are on my panties. He slides one finger and then the other inside. The other hand unbuttons my dress and is rubbing my bra. He is staring deep in my eyes, and I am trying to focus on his eyes. I am loosing focus because it feels so good because it is so wrong. I know that his mom knows what we are doing in here. He slides me on my back and gets on top of me. He is grinding against me. I can feel his erection growing against me. He continues to grind against me, and I feel my orgasm growing and know that I am going to explode. As he grinds, his fingers are sliding in and out. His hand is massaging my breast. I let go all over his hand. I collapse onto the hay bale, and he collapses on me.

"I think I need a shower. I wish you could join me." He says.

"I know the feeling."

We lay on the hay bale waiting for our breathing to return to normal, and then make our way back to the house. He takes me back to my room, and with one very long kiss he bids me good night. I get undressed and find hay in my hair. I get into bed. As I lay there, I think about the last few days, and how amazing this place is. I have learned so much about him. I realize now that probably he is just a fragile as I am just in a different way. Maybe we can put each other together. I turn off the light and fall deeply asleep. I dream that we are up on that ridge again. We have a blanket spread and a picnic lunch. The air is blowing the tall grass all around us. The sunlight is shinning so brightly. The horse is tied to the tree, and the eagles are soaring overhead. I am laying there with my head in his lap looking up at him. His hands is playing with a piece of my hair. The dream is so peaceful.


	24. Chapter 24

Author's notes: I would once again like to thank my loyal readers. You have all been so kind to me. I really appreciate it.

* * *

Monday is a fabulous day. I spend more time with his mom and sisters while he spends time helping his dad. I can see the look of joy in his mom's eyes as he goes out to help his dad. It is so obvious how much she has missed the two of them working together. At the end of the night, Luke and I take a ride again to the ridge. It seems like he is there to say good bye to his brother. I don't say anything, but instead go to a part of the hill with wild flowers and begin to pick them. It is crazy, but I could see us living here. It is so optimistic of me, but this place is so relaxing and peaceful. We head down the mountain. Once we are back by the house, we go sit on the porch swing. His mom comes out to tell us good night, and we watch as the night sky fills with stars.

"Did you see that shooting star?" he asks.

"I did." I answer

"Did you make a wish?"

"I did."

"This has been so nice us here away from Seattle."

"It has."

"I would like to bring you back sometime."

"I would like that."

"I am really dreading Ana and Christian coming back. I am going to be so busy with escorting her everywhere."

"I know, but the good thing is you will be back at work with me."

"That is the only good thing. I am going to have to work Saturday and Sunday. Taylor is going to see his daughter so I will be supervising security for Mr. Grey since they will be back."

"Bummer I have really enjoyed our lazy weekends."

"I know, next week."

"Okay." As I yawn.

"We better get to bed although I really don't want to be without you tonight."

"I know but your mom would not be happy."

"Maybe I could lay on top of your blankets so if she came in she would see I was fully clothed."

"Well I guess that wouldn't be bad."

"Ah, what is the worst thing she is going to do. We get on a plane tomorrow at 1."

"It is up to you. She is your mom."

"I need you in my arms tonight."

"How can a girl refuse such a request?"

He follows me into the room and lays down on the bed. I pull on my sweats and harvard t. I put my head on his chest and am instantly asleep. At 6:00 am, I hear his mom stick her head in. I pretend to be asleep. Luke, of course, is on top of the covers in his clothes from yesterday, and I am under the covers. She closes the door as she leaves. I hear her start breakfast. We get up around 8. His mom takes him into his room to have a talk with him about her rules in her house and what he does in Seattle is his business, but no funny business in her home. Luke's dad and I are at the table. I know he can hear the whole conversation, and I laugh because I see the smirk on his face. He keeps his head buried in the farm report from the local paper. When Luke appears, he is a little red, but I can tell he thinks it is funny too. His dad and him talk more about the farm. Before we know it, it is 10:30. I give his mom a hug and thank her for her hospitality. She actually invites me back. Luke hugs his mom and sister, shakes his dad's hand, and we are off. His other sister, Hannah, is giving us a ride to the airport. I can tell that he is really sad to be leaving. I don't know what to say, so I say nothing. We both sleep on the flight home. He drops me off, and I don't believe my eyes. There sitting on my apartment stoop is my mom and my 2nd step dad. The guy who couldn't keep his hands off me. Luke senses my anger.

"Who are they?" He asks

"My momma and my step father."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I will call you later."

What in the hell?

I get out of the Jeep, and grab my bag. I give Luke a quick kiss and then head toward the door.

"Hey Momma." I choose to ignore Mr. Grabs little girls

"Well hi honey, you look like shit."

"Just got off a plane from Montana, Momma."

"They don't have showers or places to fix your hair in Montana."

"It is so lovely to see you momma. How have you been?" I am trying to change the subject to one of her favorite subjects.

"I am fine. Who was that guy who dropped you off? Is he your boyfriend that you let him see you looking so homely?"

"He is someone I am seeing."

"Well honey you are never gonna keep a man looking like you do today. I obviously need to take you shopping."

"Momma, what may I ask are you and HIM doing here?"

"Well baby, I saw you in People Magazine and just had to come say Hello. Harland said that you were coming back today so here we are. You are gonna have to tell me how you know that wonderful Christian Grey. He is so yummy."

That damn magazine, I knew it was going to be trouble. How could Harland tell her I would be back today. Traitor. Oh geez I really don't want to deal with this.

"Momma where are you staying?"

"Well we thought we would stay with you. Your dad would like to apologize. He found Jesus while in prison and has been wanting to make it up to you ever since. He just didn't know where to find you. Then him and I ran into each other on social media and have become just the best of friends. When I told him I was coming out here, he just couldn't wait to tag along so he could use that ask for forgiveness step on you. Plus he has become a deacon at the church."

"Well momma, my place is really small. Why don't I put you up at a nice hotel in Seattle. One where y'all can get them fancy bathrobes and slippers."

"Oh, that sounds nice. Do they have them hot tub tubs?"

"I am sure it can be arranged."

I quickly take my cell phone out and call the Four Seasons. I book two rooms to which I am interrupted that they will only need one room. I know they are gonna charge like crazy and this is going to cost me, but I don't know what else to do. She drives me crazy and loves to put me down, but she is my momma. I put them into a cab to the Four Seasons. I go inside and sit on the couch. Max comes instantly to me. How could she bring him here. The one person who robbed me of my childhood is here. He seems as creepy as ever in fact I am pretty sure he was staring at me like I was meat on a stick. I go take a shower. Ick. I take Max for a long walk, but I can't keep that creepy feeling away like I am being followed. Max and I walk to Luke's. He lets us in.

"You don't look so good."

"I don't feel so good."

"So when do I get to meet your parents?"

"Hopefully never, that is my step father who I had to press charges against because he had a bad habit of coming in my room at night."

"Oh I am so sorry."

"Not as sorry as me. Unfortunately, trusting men isn't my mother's strong suit. He sold her a line of garbage about being sorry and wanting forgiveness, and she brought him here."

"Why don't you and Max stay here tonight?"

"We will order in and later I will take the dogs for a walk."

"That sounds amazing."

He wrapped me in his arms and kissed my forehead. He smelled so good. I could tell that he too had showered. I texted Harland that I was home and let him know that my mom and step dad were in town at the Four Seasons. Of course, I didn't hear from her. I figured they would be enjoying what I had given them. He deserved a gutter, but I kept telling myself it was for my momma.

After dinner, Luke and I were laying on the couch. I was playfully swatting his hand away as he tried to take his hands below. He was kissing behind my ear and the sensation was causing instant wetness below. I allowed one hand to migrate north and one to head south. I was laying with my back to his front. My butt was grinding against his erection. He continued kissing the back of my neck. I unbuttoned my pants for him to have better access and turned over so we were facing each other. I opened his pants to free his erection. I began stroking him while he still fondled my breast and sex. He got a condom, and put it on. I quickly removed my jeans. He got on top of me and the want from the last few days took over. I was so wet and he slid in and out. I could feel my pleasure building and at the exact same time we released together. He cleaned up and then carried me to his bed. I grabbed one of his t shirts to sleep in. It felt so good to be wrapped in his arms.

At 3:00am in the morning, his cell phone was ringing. He jumped up to answer it.

"Barney, what is going on? A fire at Grey house in the server room. I am on my way."

He kissed me on the cheek as he ran through the apartment getting dressed.

"I will be back."

I drifted off to sleep wondering how a fire could occur at such a state of the art facility.

I woke up at 7 realizing it was a work day. Yuck, I forgot I had to go back today. I throw on my jeans from yesterday and my shirt. I take Max and Charlie for a quick walk. We take Charlie back into the house and give her a snack to get through the day. We head back to my house so I can get ready. I get to work a little after nine. Claire gives me the naughty naughty look and tells me we have to do lunch. I don't hear from Luke. I really don't expect to since I know he is busy with whatever this fire is. At 1, Claire and I meet for lunch. I give her an overview of my trip all the highlights just not naming names. We haven't decided how we are going to handle this. He would like to talk to Jason about it. At 5 Luke texts me that he will pick me up at 6. At 5:30 my mom texts to ask if we want to have dinner. I tell her that I am tired and that we should catch up tomorrow for dinner. As I walk out to the Jeep, Luke is very distant.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey back. Sorry for leaving you this morning."

"Duty calls."

"Yea something like that. Do you mind if we don't stay together tonight?"

"No it is fine." I lie. The last place I want to be is in my apartment with that idiot in Seattle. I keep trying to tell myself he only likes little girls, but then I remind myself he went to jail for a little bit and is now a registered sex offender.

"I am just tired."

"I understand."

Luke drops me off at my door and gives me a kiss. I look up and down the street. I go inside and take Max for a quick walk. I lock all the doors, windows, and pull the blinds closed. I know I am being crazy, but oh well.

The next few days are more of the same. Work is crazy while I get all the requests filled. I had dinner with my mother and step father on Thursday. I really wish I had an appointment with Flynn. Oh well I will have a lot to talk to him about. Luke has been busy with work. I am so glad that this week is over. Christian and Ana come back tomorrow. I am supposed to go shopping with my mom while Mr. Creepy does whatever. The hotel bill at the Four Seasons is climbing. It has only been a few days since Montana, but I already feel like it was a lifetime ago. I hear a text from my phone so I pick it up.

Luke: Sorry I have been a royal jerk

Me: Yup you have ;)

Luke: This fire thing has Christian and Jason really pissed.

Me: I am sure.

Luke: Can I come over tonight? Our last night of freedom.

Me: Hmm..I guess.

And with that my intercom buzzes.

"I have really missed you babe. I just really had to focus."

"I know."

With that our lips meet, and the last few days just melt away. I take him to the bedroom and turn off the lights.


	25. Chapter 25

I wake up at 2 in the morning with Luke clinging to me. I dread each passing hour. I know soon Ana and Christian will be back, and our quiet time will be over. Once they are back, the security team will be running like crazy to protect them. I will miss having Luke to myself although it will be nice to see him daily. I snuggle back into his arms. I wake up at 7 to Max at my nose, and Luke's erection in my back. I think this may be the most perfect way to wake up. I roll over, and am once again reminded of his past. The scars are still there, and as I touch them he grimaces as if in his sleep he is there. I wonder what they are from, and I wonder when he will share. We have been together for almost 6 weeks. It has been such an amazing period, but those scars remind me that we both have so much to learn of each other. I know he takes his coffee black and strong. I know that he prefers farm heavy cooking to the light stuff I usually make. I know he sees the guys he works with as his family. I can't wait to really meet Taylor. I have heard so many amazing Taylor stories that I feel like he is both a superhero and the big brother that everyone wants. Decisions decisions, morning sex with Sawyer by me waking him up or walk the dog. Sadly, I know that the right thing is not the thing I truly want to do. I get out of bed and put my hair in a pony tail and throw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I take Max for his walk, and stop at my favorite pastry shop on the way back. I would have stopped for Charlie, but Gail has her tonight. I think Gail enjoys the company. I know she is so ready for Taylor to be home. As I walk toward my door, I smell the delicious smell of bacon coming from my apartment. I walk in and find my country boy singing to Luke Bryan's "Country Girl" in my kitchen frying off some bacon. He looks so sexy with just his jeans on. They hang on his hips in that ultra sexy way. I watch him. Max barks, and he turns toward us. He looks so dang good that I have to stop myself from jumping him right then. He smiles at me.

'Enjoying the show?"

"Absolutely, most delicious thing that has ever been in my kitchen."

"The bacon does smell good doesn't it."

"It does, but I have to say bacon is the furthest thing from my mind."

"Oh really, and what would you be thinking about."

"Country boy shake it for me."

"Oh yea, and exactly how do you want me to shake it for you."

"Well finish that bacon and I will show you how I want you to shake it."

"Oh baby, I can fry this bacon and shake it for you."

"Now that I want to see."

His hips start moving and my eyes are just fixed on one area. He turns to focus on the bacon, and shakes his butt for me. He turns the bacon and then turns back toward me. He starts pumping his hips toward me, and I am instantly wet just imagining what that would feel like inside me. He finishes the bacon, and then lifts me over his shoulders. He carries me into the bedroom, smacking my ass, as we walk. He drops me on the bed and then starts crawling up on me like a snake slithering through the jungle floor. His lips meet mine with a fury and I could tell it is an urgency that I had to meet. Our time is quickly leaving us and we have to take this time. Our tongues dance together in a tango that is meant for us. As we kiss he rubs my nipples in just the right way while his erection rubs against me. I could feel him getting harder. He slips two fingers in, and then starts sliding in and out. My hips are rising and falling with each slide in and out. When I am really wet, he slips on the condom and begins pumping me. As our heat begins to rise, he starts sucking my nipples and rubbing my sex. He just keeps going until we both explode together. He falls on top of me, and we lay that way until our breathing regulates.

"I hate that in a few hours you will be back to work for Ana and Christian."

"I know I hate that the quiet our time will be over."

"At least I will get to see you daily."

"That is the one good thing."

We get up and take a shower. First, he washes me, and then I wash him. We go into the kitchen and he finishes making breakfast. We finish breakfast and then get ready. He has to go to Escala, and I have to go shopping. We finish getting ready, and then we sit on the couch enjoying the quiet. He kisses me and then heads for the door. I take Max for a walk. I can't help but still feel like someone is watching. I remind myself that I need to have a conversation with my mom about the expense of the Four Seasons. I get my groceries and head home. I put things away, and call my mom for dinner tonight. Dr. Flynn told me that I can be in charge of the situation. It is completely okay for me to talk to my mom about her plans. I don't have to pay for her vacation. I have already gone above and beyond for a woman who has hardly been around in my life. Truthfully, I never do anything right for her. I am pretty sure she blames me for ruining her first marriage, her second marriage, hell I am sure she blames me for the last marriage. I really have been thinking more about this that she would show up at my home with him. Dr. Flynn said that alone is acceptable for me to kick her out of the Four Seasons. I tell myself I can do this. I show up at the restaurant and there is my mom and step dad.

"Hello Mom."

"Sweetheart."

"Hello," I say coolly to my step dad.

"How are you dear?"

"I am okay mom."

"Listen dear, your step dad and I are leaving on Sunday. We have to get back to Texas.'

"Oh," I say.

"Yes, your step father has to get back to working at the church."

"Okay, well it was nice to see you."

"Oh, sweetie, it was wonderful to see you as well."

We finish the rest of our dinner. The conversation is light. We part at the restaurant. I give my mom a hug good bye and walk home. Again strangely enough I am sad as she leaves. I am always hopeful that we will have that mother and daughter relationship that you read about or see on tv. Once again, I am disappointed. Oh well. As I walk home, I still can't fight the feeling of being watched. I know I am just being crazy. I walk inside and get Max's leash. We take a walk and then get back to the apartment.

My phone vibrates to a text.

Luke: Hey baby, did you survive dinner with your mom.

Me: Yes I am fine. They are leaving

Luke: How do you feel about that

Me: I am sad but I will be okay

Luke: Wish I could be there with you.

Me: How was the airport

Luke: Good I am so glad Taylor is back.

Me: Are you staying at Escala tonight?

Luke: Yes and then tomorrow Ana and Christian are going to see Christian's parents, so unfortunately baby no Sunday together.

Me: I will miss you. Harland and I are having lunch and shopping

Luke: Buy something that only I can see ;)

Me: Maybe if you are a good boy!

Luke: Oh I will be a very good boy.

Me: Well I will be the judge of that

Luke: Baby I have to get back to work

Me: Ok Good night

Luke: Good night

I settle down for sleep, but I toss and turn. I finally fall asleep.

Harland and I go out for lunch, and a little shopping. He helps me pick out a few sexy things to wear for Luke. We talk about Gabriel and his parents. He comes back to my apartment and enjoy a lazy afternoon. I spend the afternoon waiting to hear from Luke, but I hear nothing. Just before I go to bed, I text him.

Me: Hey missed you

Luke: Bad day. I will see you tomorrow sorry Good night

Me: Good night.

I am wounded but expect that Christian must have been impossible to deal with.

I wake up early in the morning. I take Max for a walk. I head into work, and begin working on things before Ana gets in. I can't help but watch out the window waiting for Ana. I finally see her pull up. I decide at that moment that I need a cup of coffee. As I walk to get coffee, I see him go take his place in security. Ana meets me in the coffee room.

"Hey How was your honeymoon?"

"It was so magical. It was so hard to come back to the real world."

"I can imagine."

"Oh I am so not looking forward to working."

"I could only imagine."

"How were things here?"

"Oh, pretty easy. We missed you."

"Back to the grind of meetings talk to you later"

"Absolutely."

I go back to my office and begin to work. Luke and I are still working on telling Ana and Christian so we are keeping everything very quiet. I am about to go visit him at lunch when I see Christian go into Ana's office. Oh how cute a nooner. Hannah hurries out of her office and heads to the coffee room. I just happen to be in there grabbing more coffee. She seems very flustered. I laugh at how Christian has that affect on people. I take my coffee and visit Claire. I position myself so I can watch Luke and Jason talk. I go back to my office to work on reports. Ana comes bursting into my office.

"This is totally on the quiet."

"Okay, " I say nervously.

"Christian wants me to change my name."

"Most married men do want their wives to have their name."

"But I want my own identity."

"Good point."

"He wants to give me SIP. He wants to change the name to Grey Publishing or Steele Publishing if I don't change my name."

"Holy crap Ana, that is big."

"I know. I don't think I can do it."

"Ana you are a quick study. Look at all you have picked up here. It is like you are a natural."

"Really, you think so."

"Absolutely. We are all impressed."

"Thanks Angelica. You always make me feel better."

"Anytime."

Poor Ana, I can totally understand her hesitation but I realize how much faith he has in her. I feel better about all our jobs knowing this information.

My day flies by, and as I head for the bus I see Luke getting in with Ana. We didn't really talk today, but I am still hopeful for tonight. I give Max dinner while I get changed. He and I head out. As we make our way to the park, we run into Luke and Charlie.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey," He says as he looks down at his feet.

"What is up?" I question him.

It is all he need to open up. He tells me all about yesterday and the car following Ana. Luke tells me that Ana was driving while they were being followed and how nervous he was. He tells me about how Christian rode his case about it. He just needed to be alone last night to lick his wounds. Then he shyly looks up and asks if him and Charlie can stay over. I look at Max and tell him that it would be fine. We go back to my apartment. We cuddle up in bed, and that is the end of the night. Tuesday and Wednesday night are more of the same. Thursday nights are my nights with Dr. Flynn. Luke is babysitting Ana while Christian is in Ny on business. I really hope she behaves. She and trouble are like a moth to a flame. She invited me to join her and Kate, but I know my being there is a bigger distraction to Luke. I go to my appointment and talk to him about my fear of being watched. We talk about rational fear and irrational fear. He says that i need to keep this in the not real pocket. As I walk home, I still get that feeling that something isn't right. I take Max for a walk when I get home. Luke text me later to say bad night won't be coming by.

Ana is in a horrible mood on Friday. I just stay away. Luke tells me that we will rest just him and I this weekend. I have never needed rest like I do this weekend.


	26. Chapter 26

The day finally ends. Luke is supposed to come over with Charlie. He just found out that he will be spending Saturday night at Escala because Taylor is going with the Grey's to Aspen. There goes our restful weekend. We order a pizza and sit at the table to eat. He begins to tell me the tale from the night before. Ana had decided that even though she told Christian she would go right home, she and Kate went to a bar. One drink turned into many. Christian was burning up Sawyer's phone and was very unhappy that Ana was not where she should be. As they dropped Kate off, Taylor texted Sawyer that they were going to the plane to depart for Seattle and that their phones would soon be off for the flight. They get back to Escala, and he can instantly tell there has been a fight. He pushes Ana back into the elevator with Prescott and goes in search of Ryan. He finds Ryan bloody but okay. The shocking part is Hyde is on the floor knocked out. He goes to get Ana from the elevator now that he knows the situation has been handled. He tries to call Taylor, but of course, they are en route. He has been instructed not to tell Ana that Christian is headed back. He knows that he is going to be even more angry when he gets word of this. Ana tries to call Christian as well but of course only gets voicemail. She instructs them to call the police. The police come and question all of them. They take Hyde away. Gail starts cleaning everything up and he now has to wait for angry Christian to arrive. Christian arrives and is even more angry when he is briefed. He yells at Luke for taking Ana to the bar. He yells at him for Ryan allowing Hyde in, and finally he is just yelling to yell. He goes and gets a drink of Whiskey. Taylor takes Luke into the security room to let him calm down then he sends him home for the night. This is why he was so angry today.

"I know it isn't my fault, but I feel like I failed him."

"In away you saved her."

"I think that is what made it worse. He was made that she disobeyed him but realizing she was safer that way only made his anger worse. I felt really bad for her today."

"She looked like death warmed over."

"It was a bad night."

"It sounds like it."

"Now I would like to take you in the bedroom and make love to you."

"Twist my arm."

As we lay in bed after our love making, I lay with my head on his shoulder. I work up the courage to ask the very question I have been trying to ask.

"Where did the scars come from?" I ask as I trace the bullet holes.

"I don't like to talk about it."

"Please."

"We were on a patrol in Kabul. It was such a beautiful day. The villagers were out and the kids were playing. One little boy was so cute. He tossed his ball toward me. It went past me. I turned to pick it to throw it back. While I did that, the guy I was patrolling with kept walking. He was walking by a parked car when there was an explosion. The explosion knocked him to the ground. The snipers starting firing at us. I couldn't let him be alone there, so I went out after him. I dragged him into an alley away from the snipers. I lucked out I just had these bullet holes, but he lost his leg from the explosion. People get hurt if I am not focused."

"You stopped to get a ball for a child you didn't know."

"I would have been right against the blast site. It should have been me. I should have taken the explosion."

"But you wouldn't be here today, and worse that child may have been in the zone."

"I never thought about it like that."

"Well you should, and you should think that your friend is alive because of your bravery."

"You are very convincing but the same could be said for my brother and Ryan the other night. Both are cases where I should have been there but I wasn't."

"You were in basic. How could you have been there? Ryan chose to let Hyde in. He should have called you."

"I stayed around the farm for the summer after graduating to help. If I had left right out of school, I would have been there."

"They would have never put you two in the same unit."

"I need to go walk the dogs. I will be back."

"Are you mad?"

"No, the dogs need to go out."

There is a sharpness in his tone, and I know it was the only way for the conversation to end. I must have fallen asleep waiting for him to return because I wake up around two and find the bed empty. I go in search of him. He is asleep on the couch with the two dogs laying by him. I decide not to wake him and go back into the bedroom.

In the morning, he is gone when I wake up, but there are a dozen roses with a sorry card. I text him.

Me: Thank you.

Luke: Sorry for being an ahole. But I just have trouble dealing with it all.

Me: It is okay. I shouldn't have pushed. It was none of my business. I just care about you.

Luke: I know I shouldn't have gotten so defensive. Just all this stuff with the Grey's has me on total edge.

Me: I know. We will get away soon hopefully.

Luke: Hopefully. Have a good day.

Me: You too.

I smile. He is so wonderful. Even my negative side can't find anything right now. The weekend is a quiet time for me. Luke has to be at Escala so Max and I busy ourself around Seattle. Sunday evening, Christian and Ana return with Taylor so Luke comes over by me. We have a quiet dinner and make love then fall asleep. It is the perfect end to the weekend.

The next week is pretty uneventful except for the fact that we told Christian about us. He decides that Prescott will be going with Ana has her number one. This makes me sad, but I know that this will help Luke. It is month end and Labor Day weekend. We finish up every thing. Luke and I go hiking up in the mountains. We have a really great weekend. Tuesday begins the fun for all of us again.

A woman named Leila comes to the office Tuesday. She comes in to see Ana. Prescott seems none to pleased by her arrival. She looks familiar and at first I can't place her, then I realize that she is homeless girl just all beautified. I am actually shocked by how beautiful she is, and how much she looks like Ana. Ana takes her into the conference room. Christian is soon here looking madder than a bunch of hornets whose house was knocked down.


	27. Chapter 27

To my followers and supporters, thank you for your continued support. I am sorry for my delay in publishing, but I lost my way. I have found my way and am ready to begin again. The next couple of chapters will once again not follow exactly with the book. I apologize to the die hard fans.

* * *

Ana and Christian leave for the day after the drama of the homeless girl. I am so ready to just go home to Luke. I finish up a few projects on my desk, and as I am turning off my computer, I turn to see him at my door. He looks tired, and I know it has everything to do with today and Ana. I am sure that security received hell for letting homeless girl in.

"Want a ride home tonight babe?"

"A ride would be nice. You look tired."

"It was a very long day. Christian was none to pleased at the visitor you had today."

"I saw the look of anger when he came by today."

"Yes, it was not good."

"Let's take the dogs for a walk, grab some take out, open a bottle of wine, and relax in front of the tv."

"That sounds like exactly what I need."

We head to his Jeep. We first stop at his place and pick up Charlie. As we pull to the front of my apartment, I begin to realize that our quiet night is not going to go as planned. My mother is sitting on the stairs in front of my apartment looking like she had lost her best friend.

"Oh shit," I say to no one in particular.

"I will take the dogs for a walk to give you two some time."

"Thank you."

I get out of the Jeep knowing that nothing good will come from this conversation.

"Mother." I go into hug her and can smell the vodka on her breath.

"Sweetheart," And as she says it she slurs.

"Where is my step father?"

"He is in Texas. He says that he needed time alone."

"How did you get here?"

"I took a train."

"Wow, why don't you come in with me."

"I don't want to be a burden."

"You won't, come in."

As I walk her in, Luke is heading out with the dogs. He kisses me as he walks by. I walk in and open a bottle of wine. I make up my bed for her. Luke text me to ask if I want Italian or Chinese. I choose Chinese. My mother says that she doesn't want anything. She is on yet another diet. I am not sure how vodka fits in but I don't question. I walk into the bedroom. My mom is getting settled for bed. I give her a glass of water and two ibuprofen. Luke comes back from walking the dogs with the Chinese. I pour us two glasses of wine, and we sit on the couch. We eat, and then I clean up the dishes. We settle back on the couch. Before I know it, I am sound asleep against Luke. I wake up at what is now my usual two with the two of us asleep on the couch. Charlie and Max are sharing the floor. I get up and check my mother. She too is asleep. I go to the window and under the street light I see a man staring back in at me. It is dark in my apartment so I am sure that he can't see me. I feel a chill run up my spine. I want to say he is looking at the building, but I know better. I try to shake it off as I walk back to lay next to Luke. I will definitely have to talk to Flynn about this. Tomorrow is my appointment. I finish a glass of water and lay back down by Luke.

He wakes me up at 5 as he gets ready to leave. He has to go get ready and take Charlie for a walk. I get up and get ready. My mom and Max are going to bond today. I head for the bus. On my way to work, I remember that I have to pick up my dress from the cleaners. Christian is having a birthday party at his club on Saturday night for Ana. I go to work, and it is the usual. Ana and Christian must have made up because her mood is light. I go to Flynn and we talk about my evening visitor. We talk about the stress my mother brings me, and that because of all of this I am probably just seeing things. I know that I am not, but I take his advice. I try to go home and rest. My mom had ordered pizza. Luke voted to stay at his place tonight.

"How was your day." I ask.

"It was good. Your step father called and apologized for being a jerk. He asked me to hurry home. I told him I would stay with you for awhile longer." As she says this, she looks at me hopeful.

"Of course, it is always good to see you."

"How was your day?"

"It was good. The financials are done for the month, so now I can move on the my daily Accounting work."

"How is Luke?"

"He is good. He wanted to give us tonight in quiet."

"He seems like a good man. You should hang on to him."

"It is just starting mom. I am not looking to rush anything."

"Well take it from an expert I know good when I see it."

You know good I think, then why do you only choose bad, but I don't say any of this. We finish our pizza, and watch some tv. We talk about light subjects and stay away from all the deep ones that should really be said. My mom goes into my room. I take Max for one last walk, and then head to bed. I wake up at 2 again, and I look out the window. There is no one there tonight. I start to relax and think maybe Flynn was right.

By Friday, I am so in need of a relaxing weekend. I head to work. It is one of those beautiful early fall days where you can feel the air on the verge of changing from Summer to Fall. The sun is so beautiful. If I had only realized that this was the best moment of the day and that the day would only get darker, I would have sat on the bench outside of work and took in all the beauty. At Quarter to 10, Ana is running into my office in tears.

"Ana, what is the matter?"

"My...Mmmy...Father..accident...hospital...Portlan d."

"Oh my God Ana, I am so sorry. Is he okay?"

"I am not sure. I have to get there."

I pick up my phone and call Luke. He comes to my office instantly and takes Ana. I say a quiet prayer as she is leaving for her father. I settle back to work now worried about Ana and Luke because Portland is a long drive. My mother phones me at noon to tell me that she wants to meet me for a drink. I tell her about the place two blocks from my apartment. I tell her that I should be there by 5:30. Sawyer expects that he will be staying in Portland. Taylor joined him down there with Mr. Grey around 3. I tell him I am meeting my mom for drinks and I will call him later.

My mom and I sit at the bar talking. The bar is kind of packed because it is Friday night. It is a nice night, so we are sitting in the beer garden area outside. My mom promises me that she walked Max so we are fine to enjoy ourselves. I sense something, but I tell myself that I am crazy. I get up to go to the bathroom. We have been here for a an hour, and I am feeling like we should head home. My mom asks me to stay for one more drink. I have barely finished my first glass of wine, but I agree. When I get back from the bathroom, my glass is full. My mom smiles at me like she is winning a prize. I sip the wine, and my mom looks like she is urging me to finish it. I finally finish the wine, and it is almost 7:30. I stand up, and I feel like headed. I use the table to stabilize myself. I probably should have eaten something. We start walking. My mom hangs back because my phone starts to ring. It is Luke and a goofy grin is on my face.

"Hey." I say in a half slur.

"Hey back..You been drinking?"

"I just had a glass of wine but I feel really strange."

"Strange? What kind of strange?"

"My head is fuzzy and I feel unsteady."

Luke becomes extremely serious,"Who are you with?"

'My mom, what is your damage?"

"Listen to me, you sound like you have been drugged."

"WHAT?" I look around to see my mom is half a block behind me. Panic begins to circle me.

"Stay calm babe. I am going to send Ryan to you. Just make it home and lock the door. Don't let your mom know that you think anything. Put your phone back in your pocket and leave it on. That way if something happens Ryan can follow your cell signal. Breathe Babe. I am going to head to you now. I love you. I will be to you soon."

"I love you too. I feel sick."

"Hang on. You can do this. Hang up and put the phone in your front pocket."

I do as I am told just as my mother comes up to me.

"How is lover boy?"

"He is good. They are at a sports bar in Portland. Ana's father is in a medically induced coma." I know I lied but it seemed important that I did.

"Oh that is too bad I hope he pulls through."

Again, I sense the danger before I ever see it. First I see my step father, then I see Gary. How in the hell. My mother steps over to my step father and I know I am not going to make it to my apartment.

"Well well, if it isn't my girlfriend." Gary says.

"I haven't been that for years."

"How did you all get acquainted?"

"Gary was looking for you and told your momma how you runned out on him and got him arrested. Then your momma told me and I realized him and me had a lot in common. Then we saw you in that magazine with all the fancy people and figured that wasn't really fair. So we want to have a little revenge on ya."

My head is beginning to spin. I know that I don't have time. I will never make it to my apartment. There are three of them. I am also afraid that they would hurt Max. I feel my legs start to give in and I realize that I am now at their mercy. I feel someone pick me up as the world around me fades to black.


	28. Chapter 28

I come to lying on the floor in the back of a conversion van. My hands are tied behind my back with grip ties. I notice instantly that my cell phone missing. I definitely under estimated these three. They have some game plan, and I am frightened. Even the thought of Luke saying I love you only brings minor comfort. I am hoping that Luke is smart enough not to text me to indicate what our plan is. The effects of the drug makes me feel like there is a drummer in my head. The feeling is not enjoyable. My mouth feels like there have been 100 cotton balls in it. The van takes a sharp turn, and I roll in the direction we are going.

My mother turns to see my face. The hatred I feel for her right now is unbelievable. I cannot believe she would do this. I know she is selfish and holds me responsible for every bad thing in her life, but this takes our relationship to a whole new level. I remind myself to rag on Flynn for talking me out of my feeling that someone was after me. I know logically this stuff doesn't happen to normal people, but this can be filed with when has my life ever been normal. She lets Gary know I am awake. They stop the vehicle, and Gary comes around to the cargo door. He opens it and the only light I see is from a parking lot.

'Well, well sleeping beauty has rejoined us."

He sets me up, and offers me a drink from a bottle. I refuse it only thinking that it too could be laced with something.

"Relax this is just water. I imagine you feel pretty dry." As he says it, he has the most sarcastic smile.

I take a sip but regard him with disdain.

He goes to the front of the vehicle again. I don't know if it is the drivers or passengers side since I can only follow sounds. I hear Gary say something about wanting to fuck me again, and my step father just laughing. My mother reminds him that this is not part of the deal. Wait, she cared enough to set ground rules. Only my mother would be that sick. It is probably like kidnapping fine, rape not so much. I would shake my head if I wasn't stuck against the floor. I am relieved because I thought for sure Gary was going to rape me just cause he could. I remind myself that Gary will do what Gary wants. That thought sends a shiver down my spine. How would Luke and I every get through that? I tell myself to take it one problem at a time. I have to hope that Ryan gets to me first. I wonder if my cell is on so they can track me. I really hope it is, but I feel that this driving around is to keep me from being found. I am trying to remember if I told my mom what Luke does for a living. My thoughts are still very jumbled and for the life of me, I can't remember.

We stop finally, and I hear them pile out. I hear their voices through the vehicle, but I can't make out what they are saying. We are at some dodgy motel on the highway. I see the sign from the back window, and I hear trucks driving down the highway. Dang, I was hoping we were closer to home for Ryan to get here quickly. Gary opens the back of the vehicle.

"I am going to carry you in like this is our wedding night in case anyone is watching dear."

"Cut the dear crap,"I say.

"Watch your smart mouth. Remember no one is here to save you."

He picks me up and puts me against his chest. At least he still smells good. He was always concerned with his appearance. He looks like while in prison and since he has been out he has been working out. I know that this is dangerous. He was strong, but stronger with an issue with me makes him dangerous. I see my mother and step father head to a room next to ours. We go into the room, and he puts me down on the nasty hotel bed. I cringe as my face touches the comforter that hasn't been washed in years. I laugh at myself. I am worried about a comforter when my death is much more immediate due to the situation I am in.

Gary straightens me up and come up to me like he is going to kiss me. I spit at him, and he smacks me across the face. The sting is instant, and I can feel my lip start to swell. The look of satisfaction is disgusting. Then without warning he slaps me again this time he gets the other side like he is being kind by hitting both sides. Now he is truly happy. It is like he has been waiting years to do that. The pain is intense combined with the reaction to the drug. My head was already killing me, but now it is like a migrane. I start to throw up, and a little hits his shoe. Of course his reaction is to hit me one more time.

My mother knocks on the door. Gary goes and lets her in. She sees my face instantly. I can tell that her first reaction is actually care, but I know that she is scared to say anything. The look on her face for the briefest of minutes makes me think that she may regret what she did. She covers quickly, and makes a joke about my smart mouth must have got me in trouble again. He said that and she threw up on my shoe. I see my cell phone hit the hotel dresser, and I see that it is off. Damn, there goes my hope of rescue.

My brain begins to wonder what the end game is here. What do they hope to accomplish by this? If it was for me to write a check, they would have just taken me home. I realize that by my cell being off that I did tell my mom what Luke did. Again, a cold shiver runs down my spine because I am really not sure what they are doing, but obviously they don't want him to find me before they do what they are going to do. My step father now enters the room. He looks like he is a kid at a candy store when he sees my red face, and what I must imagine is a busted lip from the taste of blood and the swollen feeling. I know he wishes he could get the chance. As if he can read my mind he hits me. His is weak, but the message is clear, years of anger about what I did to him. Now my head is really on fire. I throw up again just from the pain. The truth is I haven't eaten since lunch that plus the alcohol, fear, and pain have made throwing up inevitable. My mother and Gary turn toward him.

"What the fuck man." Gary asks.

"You did it. I have been dreaming of doing this for years." My step father says.

"Okay enough you two, let's keep focused." My mother says.

My mom excuses herself to get me a soda from the vending machine. Seriously, this mothering this is really crazy given what she has done earlier tonight. She had to have put the drug in my drink. She handed me over to them. While she is out of the room, they start to discuss fucking me. They are both salivating like dogs. I am suddenly hoping my mother returns soon. The horror of their conversation must register on my face because they both snicker.

"You know you missed this." Gary says pointing at his dick.

"I broke her in for you." My stepfather adds.

"Dude, I hate to tell you this but that is just sick." Gary says. Now I feel like I am in some weird universe where one of my kidnappers thinks the child molester is sick. Yet he raped and beat the adult version. My step father just gives Gary a seriously look. Thankfully my mother returns. I think she can sense the conversation because she warns them again that they need to stay focused.

My mother opens the can of soda and a pack of saltines left from some lunch buffet on the road. Truthfully, I am happy to have something in my mouth. The soda is so cold. Again she gives me the sympathetic look. She grabs the ice bucket and heads out again. She comes back and puts ice in a wash cloth. She holds it to my lip.

"Don't leave me alone with him." I say in a near cry whisper combination. She looks at me with a look of horror, but she reads my eyes and sees the fear. She just shakes her head yes to me.

They go to the other room to discuss their plans. I try to focus through the walls, but all I hear are elevated whispers. I decide trying to listen does nothing for me. I decide that breathing and focus are much more useful. I start picturing Luke and I in the mountains of Montana. I picture how peaceful it is. I let my imagination take me there. I wonder where he is right now. I see him pacing back and forth blaming himself.

They come back into the room. They seem so excited and happy like kids on Christmas. I decide that it is now the time to ask what their plans are for me. I clear my throat.

"Can I ask what your plan is?"

"It is funny. I have been waiting for you to ask that." Gary says.

"Well I am asking because I can't figure it out."

"That must be killing you, Ms. Smarty pants."

"No."

"Well you see I went to prison for you and so did your step father. We have had years of dealing with life in a cage because of you. Imagine how it felt to see you on the cover of a magazine at the wedding of the richest guy in Seattle. Can you even know how that feels?"

"No I can't. But he is my boss not my husband or anything."

"I know, but the fact that you are working and knowing people like that is sickening to me. So I started working my revenge and these two decided they would help."

"Again I don't get it."

"You are the highest ranking accounting person in Christian Grey's wife's company. Don't you think that has value to a man like that?"

What he is saying hits me like a ton of bricks. He is going to go to Christian for my release oh crap and what a day to have this all happening.

"You seriously think Christian Grey is going to pay you to get me back. Why would you think I am that important to him."

"1. He is supposed to be Mr. Giver, and 2. You are friends with his wife. Yes I have checked this information."

"You are absolutely absurd."

As I finish the words he slaps me again.

"I would appreciate you not doubting me anymore because for your information, he has agreed."

My cheeks turn red for a new reason, and suddenly I want to die in this cheap motel, then have Christian pay for me especially tonight while his father-in-law is in the hospital. I suddenly see that my cell phone is on which explains how they contacted Christian. My text alert for Luke goes off.

Gary smirks as he reads it aloud, "Hello, I know you have her. If you harm her, you will deal with me."


	29. Chapter 29

Gary begins to laugh. My mother looks nervous, and I can't read my stepfather's face.

"Ah, is this the little boyfriend Luke." Gary says with a snicker.

I refuse to answer. I just stare him down. Gary in all his boldness texts back: I will keep this in mind.

I know Luke must be fuming. Gary looks so full of himself right now. I can see the challenge in his eyes. He wants to take Luke on. My mother snaps him out of it.

"We need to put our plan together." She says.

"Okay, I told him the drop site is the main train station at 7 am tomorrow. It is right in the middle of rush hour. You will stay here with her, and at 7 you will leave here. You will drop this vehicle off, and pick up the other one. Then you will pick him up and then me." Gary says. I notice he is being very vague on his description of everything which means there is hope for me. If he was planning on killing me, why would he care if I know anything. His plan sounds solid, but that is if he wasn't dealing with Christian. Christian is one enemy that you shouldn't make. I am pretty sure he has a solid plan in place.

"So, how much am I worth these days?"

Gary turns off my cell phone as he answers. "Well sweetheart, 6 million. We didn't want to ask him for too much." He says with a smirk.

I notice that it is midnight. Six hours until they plan to leave. My mother and stepfather go to their room. I look at my mother pleading with her not to leave. Gary lays back on the bed. I am sitting on the edge of the one he put me on. If I thought I could run, I would. I keeping looking at the door waiting for Luke to come through the door.

"Ah like old times, here we are alone." Gary states.

"Except your aren't drunk." I state. Why do I dare him?

"Somethings do change."

"The more they do, the more they don't," I answer.

"Do you want me to turn down the bed for you?" He asks.

I know what he is getting at. I can feel him looking at me. The fear just rises in me. I am not worried about me I have been here before. I am worried about Luke. I don't think we could get past this. Then suddenly he is upon me pushing me down. He has his hand over my mouth. I am still trying to struggle, but my hands are still tied behind my back. I am trying to wiggle away from him on this disgusting comforter. He is trying to remove my pants, but I moving. He smacks me across the face again. He is trying to gag me, but before he can I start screaming. I am screaming with all my might. He punches me in the stomach to get me to stop. The blow takes the air out of me, and I can no longer scream. He undoes his pants. I fear that he is going to get his way. He is beginning to work on my pants. I try to scream again in a last ditch attempt for a savior. He has his pants around his ankles and is coming toward me. I lower my eyes because I don't think I can bare to see this. I begin to cry and shake my head. This cannot be happening to me. Where is Luke? Where is my mother? I scream again. I put as much energy in it. His dick is inches away.

My mother finally comes through the door and stops him. She yells at him that this wasn't a part of the deal. For a minute, I see a look in his eyes like he is going to push her aside or worse. Somehow he stops himself, and she sends Gary into the other room. I am shaking. I just want to go home. My lip is swelling again, and I am pretty sure he broke a rib. The pain is intense every time I breathe. I close my eyes hoping that it will all stop. My mother comes over to pull my pants back on. She adjusts my shirt. I have no words to say to her. Technically, she saved me so I should be happy, but I am angry she helped me to be in this situation. She sees the redness on my rib cage and rubs her hand over it.

"I am so sorry." She says.

"I really don't want to talk to you right now. Thank you for coming to my rescue."

"See how it is always about you."

"You are right mom. It is always about me."

"Should I bring Gary back here?"

I glare at her because it is all I can do. Just like always it has to be about her. I have to be over the top happy about what she has done with me while we ignore the rest. She has to be the center. I try to stay awake out of fear, but my eyes finally give over to sleep. I am awoken by all there noise. They are getting ready to leave. My mother and stepfather leave Gary and I alone. I know he doesn't have enough time to finish what he wanted. He gets up close to me.

"It would have been so nice to take you one last time, but I guess I will just have to live without that. The money from Mr. Grey will buy me better. I will see ya sometime." He says with a dark laugh.

"I hope not."

"Cruel bitch to the end. See ya."

Gary and my stepfather leave. Again, it is just my mother and I. I sit up. She brings me a cup of watered down hotel coffee.

"Why mom?"

"Why what?"

"Why kidnap me and steal money from an innocent man?"

"Innocent, he is a freaking billionaire. Do you think he will miss 6 million?"

"That isn't the point mom. He is a good man. It is his goodness that has him paying it for an employee. I don't understand why you would have done all of this to me though."

"To you? Why is it always about you? How about my slice of happiness? You have robbed me repeatedly of my happiness. The stress of you killed my first love and probably only love. You seduced and imprisoned my second relationship. The third relationship you took all his time and energy with your academic pursuits. Now you have a career, money, and someone you love. What do I have? Nothing. I have given it all to you. Now I am going to get something. I will have money, and I won't need anyone."

I am stunned. I always knew she felt this way, but it was shocking for her to actually say it. She finally speaks again.

"Since this will be the last time we speak, I just want you to know I didn't always hate everything about our time together. I did enjoy being your mom. You just sucked the life out of me. Take care. In an hour, we will let Luke know where to find you. I do love you dear. Take care."

'I love you too I say because I know this is good bye."

She walks out the door but before she does she ties me to the chair. I can't be getting free before the plan is complete. I watch as she leaves in utter shock of the confession and the fact that this is probably the last time I will see my mom. I start to doze off in the chair because I feel safe even though I am tied to a chair.

I wake up to the sound of the door opening and a police offer walks in first. He is followed by Luke. His face is such a welcome sight. At first, I see relief, but then quickly I see anger. I suddenly remember that my face is a mess. He asks the officer if he can untie me. The officer gives him the okay. He quickly unties me and takes me into his arms. I grimace as he squeezes me. He looks in my eye and lifts my shirt to see the bruising around my ribs. A tear forms in his eyes.

"The last 12 hours have been the worst in my life."

"Oh now really..you were worried about me?" I ask trying to lighten this heavy moment. I can't bare to see the pain in his eyes.

"I have actually known were you were since midnight last night, but Christian told me that I could not come save you. He wanted this to play out."

"Oh God, Christian must be so angry at me."

"He is concerned. He understands."

"He understands?"

"When you first started hanging around Ana, he ran a background check on you. He knows, we know, everything."

"We?"

"I was there when they ran the check. I knew about you before our first date."

I am stunned into silence. I am not sure what to say. I am angry, embarrassed and upset all at the same time. How could Christian invade my privacy. How could Luke have known all that and still wanted to go out with me. Luke's phone rings so he excuses himself. The officer comes up to me.

"I am Officer Murphy. Mind if I ask some questions?"

"That is fine."

Officer Murphy spends about 35 minutes asking me questions. Luke is standing next to me. Finally the officer is done and tells Luke he can take me. We head to the Jeep.

"Mr. Sawyer." Officer Murphy calls out to him.

"We have all three in custody."

"I will let Mr. Grey know. Thank you."

"Mr. Grey wants me to take you to Dr. Flynn. He has him on call for you."

I know I shouldn't be mad. I would expect Christian to be protective of Ana's friends, but the fact that he ran a check on me and Luke knew. I am actually relieved that Christian arranged for Flynn. I really need to talk to him between my mother's ultimate betrayal and this information. My head is swimming. Luke has a death grip on my hand. He offers to carry me to Flynn's office, but I say I can walk. When we get into his waiting room, Grace sent over a medical student to check me out. She is in Portland with Ana's father, or she would be here herself the student explains. Oh God, my head is really starting to hurt again. Christian is a saint. He pays to free me, but of course set a trap at the same time. He has our therapist on call for me. He gets his mother to send a doctor to check me out. I am about to cry from all that has happened and the knowledge that knowing all of this that Christian has done. As the med student finishes looking over me and bandaging my ribs, I receive a text from Christian saying that he is glad I am okay. That is it the water works begin. The pain from crying and trying to breath is horrible but I can't stop. Luke comes to me and Flynn rushes out of his office. He wraps his arms gently around me and brings me in with the young doctor.

They close the door leaving Luke outside. Flynn takes a deep breathe and then asks, "Were you raped?"

It makes sense given our history that he would ask this question. They brought me in here so if the question was yes I didn't have to answer in front of Luke, but they could do the swab. Thankfully I get to say no. I see Flynn exhale. I hadn't realized he was holding his breathe. The student leaves and now Flynn and I can talk.

"How are you? I know dumb question, but I had to ask?"

"Surprisingly okay. I know I shouldn't be. I know the idea of being kidnapped by your mother should be horrible. Or the fact that they asked your boss for the money on the day his new father-in-law is almost killed should make you want to end it all. Or the fact that your ex was seconds from raping you, when your mom who handed you over on a silver platter, stopped him. That should also put you in a mental hospital. For me, the cherry on this shit sundae is that my boss ran a background check on me 3 days before my first date with my now boyfriend and he saw the whole sorted thing before he ever took me out. That is the one that right now is killing me. I expect my family to do this shit, but I feel completely betrayed by Luke. He should have told me! I mean I know technically he couldn't. I know he shouldn't have told me today, but he did and damn it I am pissed."

"I understand your anger, but why?"

"Because now I don't trust it. Is he really all that he seems or is he feeling sorry for the little girl who had a rough life story. Is this all a tissue of lies?"

"Do you want me to bring him in here?"

"Truthfully, I can't take the truth because if he tells me that he hasn't cared that he has only felt sorry for me I will dissolve into this floor. Right now, I need the illusion."

"You understand that these are your negative feelings, your lack of faith. It is Christian's lack of faith in people that leads him to do background checks, and that is purely an observation not a therapist answer. Your lack of faith leads to any reason to doubt someone you care about. In reality, he could have bolted. He could have made a 1000 reasons to cancel your date after he got that information. He didn't. He showed up. Even if he felt sorry for you and that is why he came, he has stayed. He continues to stay. You have to give people a chance. I know after tonight we are going to have to rebuild your trust, but try not to handle the trust of Luke or even Christian for that matter. They were there for you. Give them a chance. I owe you an apology about telling you the man in the streetlight was a figment of your imagination. Obviously I was wrong. The idea of my error and what happened to you have nearly driven me crazy. Christian wanted me to tell you that he doesn't blame you and that your job is safe. He also said that you are completely welcome at Ana's party tonight. His helicopter is making trips to Portland starting at 5."

"That is a whole other issue that I can't seem to face down. How do I ever look at Christian again. I mean thankfully he got his money back, but the low lifes from my past bothered him during a horrible personal crisis for him. I cringe every time I think of it."

"Christian is so used to people using other people to get to him. This is one of the reasons he does background checks. You are being pulled into his problems just for knowing him. He knows that people in his life are always going to be pawns. It is the danger of being a powerful man. He knows that this has nothing to do with the type of person you are. You weren't born into this mess, but put into it. On that note, you know you are going to have to testify against your mother. How does that feel?"

"It was so weird while it was happening. One minute she was the co-conspirator, and the next my mother. If she hadn't stopped Gary, he was going to rape me. She brought me ice for my lip after 3 slaps across the face. She grimaced when she saw my broken ribs, but her own selfish hate drove her to all of this. She actually admitted that she blamed me for her first husbands death, the breakup with #2, and #3 she said he was too busy with me to care about her. That she gave me everything and now I have it and she wants it. Not an ounce of happiness, but instead disdain. It actually will make testifying easier because she truly doesn't deserve to be in my life. It does hurt though. I am not sure how to move on from this. Part of me wants to run from Luke because what kind of future can I offer him."

"You are stronger than your past. You prove that over and over. You have to keep believing that you are entitled to happiness. This seems like a big set back, but you will get through this. I think it would be best for you to rest now. I want you to let your doubt of Luke go for now. I want you to trust what you to have had before this all occurred. If you need me, I will be around all weekend. Do you think you will go to Ana's party?"

"No I don't think so. I look a little beat up and I don't think Ana needs to think about anything else. Do you think I should go?"

"I think right now you should actually surround yourself with the good people in your life. You could explain away your injuries. Christian knows, his mother knows, and Ana will know in time anyway. Just don't shut yourself away, but also if you are too tired from everything it is okay to rest."

"Thank you for today. Thank you for having the student ask if I was raped away from Luke."

"You are welcome on both counts. Now take care and know that I am only a phone call away."

Flynn helps me up and to the door. Luke has his head in his hands like the weight of the world is upon him. He looks up and the storm subsides a little. He comes to take me from Flynn. I thank him again. We walk to the door and head to the car.

"Your place or mine?" He asks.

"Mine please. Oh my God, were you able to get to Max?"

"I called Harland knowing he had a key or knew how to get one. He has been pacing the floor and driving me crazy to be honest. I completely understood how he felt. It killed me not to go rushing in there at midnight when I figured out where you were. Ryan literally had to hold me back. I just worried so much about you. Christian said I could get you the minute the drop was made. I was actually sitting down the street with the police just waiting. It was like time was standing still from 12 to 8. I just don't know what I would have done." As he finishes the last statement, he takes my hand in his and kisses my knuckles."

"Gary read your text to him, so I figured you knew or at least hoped you did. I couldn't figure out why you weren't coming, but now it all makes sense."

"I was so afraid you would think bad of me for not coming."

"In that moment, it wasn't that I wasn't thinking of you. It was I was trying to survive and couldn't give much thought to why you weren't."

He slams his hands against the steering wheel and says, "I hate hearing that because I hated that you were there caught, and I was powerless to save you. I knew Christian's plan made sense, but it was against every thought in my head. I wanted you with me safe. Just to warn you, Harland is in your apartment. I tried to get him to go home, but he is really stubborn."

As we pull up to my building I say to Luke, "Oh not worry, I figured he was there the minute you said he assisted you with Max. Just do me one favor, just keep him from hugging me. One of his hugs could kill me."

Luke begins to laugh, but just like with me and the medical student, he begins to cry. I sit there holding his hand to my face, and telling him I am okay.


End file.
